Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Illogicopedia user spotted in 1988 rave video

It's official: Testostereich is a real party animal. Not content with having all those featured articles and gold stars and such, he's topped it all off by going back in time to appear in a video for some acid house rave in a field somewhere.

See! That's him in the picture on the right!

Illogicopedia users are currently searching for the time machine used. One such contraption was found, but it has been confirmed this is not the one used by Testostereich to perform mysterious, physics-bending time warps.

Where will old TReich turn up next? You decide! Vote now...
  1. Great Wall of China, 1976 Call 0870 1234567
  2. Jupiter, 1084 Call 0870 9876543
  3. The toilet, Yesterday Call a doctor
Calls charged at local rates for local people.

Saturday, 25 April 2009

Cat on a keyboard?

Hell yeah.

After hearing the sad news of the death of the keyboard hamster, I swore one day to make a homage to the great author.

Enter, the keyboard cat. After 3 minutes of persuading I finally got it to let out a short poem. Unfortunately she didn't stay on for long. Maybe she didn't feel worthy enough to fill the legendary hamster's place.

Moar will come soon...

Friday, 24 April 2009

Illogicopedia welcomes its newest Werewolf

Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hand together for our newest admin... THE (pictured right, bringing it on down).

This is actually the first administrator to be appointed in a very long time, maybe even a year. Now before you go moaning about how you should have been chosen instead, let me explain the reasoning behind this promotion.

We need fresh meat to chew. Simple as that.

Naw, only joking, though I would beware of an increase in impromptu werewolf attacks. We actually wanted someone else to help out with administrative stuff around the site, namely keeping up to date with the features.

As you may know, Illogic has experienced an upsurge in activity in the last week or so, which coincides with the more frequent featuring of articles. During the first few months of the year there simply were no admins around to keep the site ticking over, hence no IOTM for November and, like, three features in three months.

Hopefully, this won't happen again, and to further combat a repeated staleness we may look to appoint yet another admin further down the line. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Congratulations, THE!

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Illogicopedia microblogging now available in cream!

... by which I mean Illogicopedia is on that Twitter-type thing. Now, I know the large majority of Illogicopedia users aren't into this sort of thing (all very anal stuff), but I shall now attempt to convert you by the power of interpretive dance geek speak!

See that thing all the way at the bottom of the left-hand sidebar? That's got all the latest goings-on at the Twitter thingymajig. An Illogicopedia admin can post a message and you, the readers, can see what they have to say! Cool beans, eh?

Hmm, this isn't going very well, is it? The only reason you're gonna subscribe to it is if you already use Twitter... pah.

Yeah, I know that picture is actually Windows Live Messenger but it's all social networking stuff anyway. Just, like, read the twitter updates every so often.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Editor spotlight: To those we have lost (Part deux)

Last week the Illogiblog took a look through our archives to highlight the forgotten guys of the Illogicopedia: those that had their moment in the sun, however brief, and were lost to the annals of time. Well guess what? There's more.

Huge Bob

It's the question on everyone's lips: just where is Big Bob? Well, he returned for a brief period at the end of 2008 and was one of the big hopes for '09, but disappeared again just before the barren first few months of the year.

We're hopeful that Bob will return with more Turnips comics soon, but for now we can make do with his massive back catalogue of material he provided us with under both his Binclin and Huge Bob monikers.

Cajek, Ljlego, MrN9000, D.G. Neree, Robomilk, Mandaliet etc.

Ha, the Uncyclopedia users brigade. I think it's cool that every so often we get an influx of Uncyclopedians which help bring some sanity back to the wiki.

I also think that, on the whole Uncyclopedians have the wrong opinion of Illogicopedia - they see it as an infantile, silly watered down version of ED and Uncyc so veer away. Not the case with these guys though, who we would gladly lay down the red carpet for if they decided to become more active contributors.

Next week, how to bake your own mud pie with added worms!

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Newsflash: Conservapedia officially hates Illogicopedia

...or at least they hate 'liberal' parodists such as I.

It seems humour will not be tolerated amongst the hallowed pages of Schlaflypedia, which has introduced measures to clamp down laughing and the causes of it. All kind of ironic, don't you think, for a wiki that prides itself on its right wing bias? Ahh, irony - a word not to be found within the Conservapedia dictionary.

Should I have actually given a monkeys, I would be bemoaning this great injustice to the high hills of Conservative HQ and banging down David Cameron's door. However, I shall draw a veil over the incident as I do not wish to harm Conserva-Illogico relations... ah, who am I kidding. Nobody gives a carp.

Don't muck with Conservo. You will be sorry, you left wing, working class twerp.

John Johnson: The New Creation by T3PO

Contrary to popular belief, I do not just create ideas for them to Epic Phail.

  • Illogicountry
  • The Truth
  • Origins
  • Typical Conversations (The only one that someone other than me contributed to. Yeah, yeah, yeah the first IllogiCountry was a collab with SomeWHAT!? but SO WHAT!?)
John Johnson is personally the greatest idea in Illogicopedia history (not really) but I see potential.

If you haven't read my forum entry, its pretty much a diary for a generic man that ANYONE can contribute to. Now I will frequently contribute and I hope others will as well.

The homepage for it is here.

At least I hope I got the url right from memory seeing as I'm too lazy to look it up.

At the time I'm writing this I've written the introduction (useless) and him riding on a bus. I will go and contribute more. Refer to the introduction for the format of writing who wrote it even though I'll do it if you don't. I want at least ten users (not including me) to contribute at least one entry. Of course I want you to do more than one...

--Your resident phailer, T3PO

Friday, 17 April 2009

The Pickle is Back, Baby

Ladies and gentlemen... we are proud to announce the return of the Illogic Pickle. You can win your place in Illogicopedian history by entering your very own nonsensical/cheesy/random/runcible article into the latest version of Illogic's very own writing competition.

...and have some fun at the same time. Mint.

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Pac-Man has a hot date?

OK this is about one of those video gamey online comics that nobody reads except for all the nerds. Regular people, please ignore this post.

OK for the rest of you, I wouldn't normally post about just some random thing I saw online, but I really think this is legitimately funny, awesome and nonsensical at the same time.

First of all, there's this story in which Jenny McCarthy, otherwise known as "That One Hot Chick In Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3", comes out of the closet as a hard core old school Atari 2600 player from back in the day! And she made a glove to keep game-related blisters away?

Rooster Teeth says, "There's no way anyone as hot as Jenny Mccarthy has ever even seen a video game, let alone created their own gaming peripherals."

This story inspired them to create what I now consider to be The Single Most Funny Comic Ever Drawn that actually did make me Laugh Out Loud - something only their Red Vs Blue videos were able to make me do before.

OK enough geeking out. Hope you all don't consider my passing this along as an abuse of the blog for non-Illogicopedia related nerdity. We now return you to your regularly scheduled lives.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Illogicast returns (semi) triumphantly

...it's back. Illogicast #1 is now available via the Podcast page and the RSS feed.

Download Illogicast #1 (2009-04-14)
(Right click > Save as to save to hard drive)

Now before you listen I have a few things to say about this comeback. The twenty minutes you hear here has been cut down from about an hour of Darkgenome and I talking absolute nonsense about weird stuff like pink elephants and 'Stoneymon, the latest Pokemon fad clone'. You'll hear about these cut 'discussions' soon enough on the Illogicopedia YouTube channel when I get round to uploading them in the next few days.

Secondly, there is a certain preoccupation with alien waste... trust me, this was not meant to happen. Finally, apologies for anything you don't quite understand because of the poor sound quality or the northern English accents.

Plans for Illogicast #2 are already being made, and Darkgenome has expressed an interest in mixing this one. The OMG Scary Alien will return, as will the French Chipmunk (possibly) but who knows what else will happen - you'll have to sit tight and find out.

IllogiToons - Turnips #9

I've been meaning to catch up on the IllogiToons series here at the Illogiblog for a while, so here is Huge Bob's ninth (?) instalment of Turnips from November 2008.

If anyone is interested in doing anything for IllogiToons, don't be afraid to add something at this page.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Editor Spotlight: To those we have lost

This just in: the Editor Spotlight thingy is here again for your soul.

Illogicopedia is like a train: people get on and enjoy the ride for as long as they like. Whilst some are here for the journey, others choose to depart at earlier stops to save them from going insane. Illogiblog today takes a look through the archives and poses the question: What ever happened to them?


Everyone's favourite(?) Uncyc-banned user shined then blew out in a blaze of pantsless glory in July 2008 after about 100 edits. But was his impact really that great? Well you might say no, but just for Marmalade alone he earns his place here.


What happened to this guy? He edited for a few weeks then left abruptly. This was not before he produced the masterpiece that was the Mel Gibson Conspiracy, though and this is most likely what he will be remembered for. That and having a name remarkably similar to a Family Guy character...


Course, even though Flamey hasn't been that active recently his spirit is still with us. Though a bit prone to vandalism and vanity in his early days, no doubt his actions spurred the community into revamping the vandal measures. For this, we salute thee, Flamey, and would warmly welcome you back at any point.

That's not all of them. I've got more, but we shall save them for another post. Fnurdletoot for now.

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Recent Inactivity creates race of Super-Fritzels

That's right, you heard it here first, a lack of updation on this very blog has been directly linked to the creation and large scale mobilisation of a new breed of 70 year-old paedo warriors.

Being both crusty and old, this new army have already had great success in their military campaign, with their blitzkrieg tactics rendering basement defences largely obsolete. Though pest control units have been dispatched to deal with the issue, these efforts have had little effect.

Gordon Brown has blamed their ineffectiveness on leg cramp, acquired from having to constantly stand up on buses as to give up their seats to the elderly pregnant Austrian master race. Gordo's spokesperson had this to say, "Bloody hell, grumpy Scottish git or what? Oh right, the whole Fritzel thing. Hang on, I just wedgied myself getting up, gi' us a second lad, can you pass me that shoe horn? ...... Ok, ripe and ready.

"This report is lame."

The Prime minister wishes to express his grave and succulently chubby concern over the situation, and wishes to reassure the public that ineffective measures will eventually be implemented after an unecessarily chocolatey wait. As for the meantime we plan to focus on more pressing issues, like forcing Jacqui Smith to watch the extended highlights of 2 Girls One Cup, including the masterful post-match analysis of Linekar and Hansen. Good stuff my friend, good stuff. Now leave."

"Bold italic quote extracts."

Though this terrifying new force is all powerful and almost unstoppable, we advise viewers at home not to worry too much. Pamphlets are currently being made on how to adjust to this new sub-terranean paedo epidemic, including ways of benefitting from it.

Saturday, 11 April 2009

Illogi Classics - #21, Spontaneously Combustible Eggs

What better article to feature on Illogi Classics this Easter than this detailed description of the delightfully versatile spontaneously combustible egg?

And how wonderfully useful it is too, with a wide range of uses from llama destructor to self-defense mechanism in case of mugging. What's more, Bulleyosheibenta! (Read the article and it'll make more sense.)

Distributed at Easter time by Santa, it's not uncommon to find these impromptu rodent exterminators in your stocking when you wake up in the morning, so watch out this Easter Sunday if you value your fingers.

It is a well-known fact that McDonald's use SCEs in their egg McMuffin, which is essentially the cause of the McLibel incident, in reality. You might even say it's the case in an eggshell.

I'm going to go back to playing Pacman now. Happy Easter.

Friday, 10 April 2009

Thoughts of the week (April 10th) - Pink elephants in the room

After a three-month absence, Thoughts of the Week is back, at least for now. The reason for this is the fact I have some time to fritter away right now, and though there isn't an awful lot happening in the world of Illogicopedia at the moment, the hope is that very soon there will be.

It probably won't have escaped your attention that the podcast is back once again. Well, to tell you the truth, I have had the first edition pretty much mixed for the last few days and barring a tweak or two, it is finished. I am not releasing it, however, until I think there are a few people around to listen to it.

To this end, I hope to get VFF rolling once again and push through a few more features in the next week. With a bit of luck this will have a domino effect, as when people see new content they are inspired to write more. At least, that's the theory.

I am glad to see that Illogicopedia is still rolling nicely, and for as long as there are people around to push the buttons, the wheels will keep on turning even in periods of relative inactivity.

A final word on the 'array' bug,
that annoyingly persistent pink elephant in the room. Well, I personally haven't a clue what that's all about, but I recommend Internet Explorer users switch to Firefox or Safari in the meantime, as the glitch doesn't seem to have affected those browsers as much.

Stick with Illogicopedia, as the grand launch of a new Pickle is imminent.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Whetting your Illogicast appetite

The excitingly good news is that the long-awaited Illogicast #1 is almost complete. It will be available later this week, but for now we shall tease you a bit more... heheheh.

(Right click > Save as to save to hard drive)

Available now on the podcast - Best of Illogicopedia 2007-2008, a compilation of the best stuff from the 'old' Illogicopedia podcast and some audio grabbed from the Illogico YouTube channel as well.

You've probably heard it all before, but that's not all. When I can be bothered, I will be uploading some Illogicast #1 outtakes and special features to the Illogicopedia YouTube channel for your delectation. I actually need to make some visuals for that yet, so don't be surprised if they suck.

But anyway, keep it at Illogiblog for further developments.

Monday, 6 April 2009

Editor Spotlight: HelloMetalReich /

What's this? A new feature at the Illogiblog? Why, we haven't had one of those in ages! Well, who knows if this will become a regular thing, we'll have to wait and see. For now, enjoy.


Technically HMR is still with us, as this account was the joint effort of three of Illogic's more prominent users (Testicles, MetalFlower and HelloolleH). After much success, including two featured articles, the experiment/collaboration was ended in 2008 after a spate of vandalisms from one of the users.

The legacy shall remain, however, in the Penglish Uprising and EPIC Fail articles which prove that collaboration is, in most cases, a very good thing. But, too much of a good thing is pretty much always bad.

Illogicopedia now strongly discourages any such accounts.

Not many people know this, but is in fact the IP which contributes the most to Illogicopedia. That's because it's the school IP of three of our most active contributors: think HelloMetalReich but with a far more schizophrenic personality and an increased tendency for vandalism and vanity. This makes it fun to guess who edits what...

The IP made its first edit in January 2007 and has since made 218 edits: that's more than some of our regular contributors. So, hats off to Wilma!-ington Grammar School!

Wednesday, 1 April 2009


I Love Bees finally has a legitimate heir, this come coming from everyone's favorite Chinese Communist puppet company .... no stupid, it's not Heinz Ketchup ... yes that's right GOOGLE!! Meet my new virtual girlfriend CADIE! And check out her lame blog!

Google's got a new "Brain Search" feature they're unveiling today. You can also get it on your phone.