Saturday, 30 January 2010

The OMG Scary Alien... Holy shit, what was I thinking?

It's been roughly a year and a half since.... you know. It. The OMG Scary Alien. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? IT SUCKS!!!! How can an article SO BAD have such an impact on the site. Not as a whole but c'mon, users who never voted on anything voted against it.

How for the longest time my sig consisted of two pictures of the guy. There's the Flub Nugget vs. The OMG Scary Alien and WHY? You know why? Because I only really read it like twice in the days after I wrote it. It really makes me realize how much I've matured in the last year and a half. I mean.... Really. I apologize for the article. I'm happy he dies at the end of the Flub Nugget vs. article.


The winter cleanout

We couldn't be bothered waiting months for spring to arrive so have decided upon launching an impromptu, long overdue cleanout of unneeded suckage.

You may have already noticed the article count dropping dramatically in the last couple of weeks, and that's because admins have not only been takin' out the trash as per usual, but devouring some Uncyclo-cruft as well.

Don't worry, we haven't gone all Uncyclopedia on yo' asses, it's just the lack of activity in the last few months has led to a whole load of leftover half-baked articles going all mouldy. For the sake of our sanity, these must be exterminated, lest we be overrun by rats or mutant turtles from the deepest, dankest sewers.

Anyways, along with all that crusty stuff some of the older, cackier articles may also bite the dust and all. I believe the Unicycles call it Forest Fire Week, we prefer to call it breakfast.

Continue the good work, y'all, and keep churnin' out those VFF-worthy articles.

-- Your friendly adminators

Saturday, 23 January 2010

Life on the empty Illogic MoneyReel

Well, having just wasted all of my ThotMarket money on buying 2200 shares, I thought it'd be a good time to advertise the financial side of the wiki.

For the past 6 months, apart from a certain shareholder called 'BenBlade' buying into ILLOGIA too much every now and again, and a unknown new shareholder, nothing has happened. Even looking at the graphs on the page shows you that people have forgotten the real meaning of life - money (apparently).

So I'm urging you, If you haven't already to make an account there and restore the wiki to perfect financial health and put us on the ThotMarket "Gainers" list for eternity!

ThotMarket is a website which simulates the global stock market, using websites instead of companies. You do not need to know everything about business in real life, just know what money is. The site DOES NOT use real money, instead you gain credits from investing wisely, so you can invest even wiselier (if that's a word.) The site does not cost you a thing, so stop holding on to your wallet foo'.

Friday, 22 January 2010

The Actual Stats

In Hindleyite's recent T.O.T.W. post, he mentioned something about percents of vandals and blah blah blah. I actually went page by page combing through and got the actual statistic of what percent of users actually contributed something memorable to Illogicopedia. So without further ado, 80% of Illogicopedia's users have been vandals, advertisements or one-edit wonders.

You're welcome.


Thursday, 21 January 2010

To those we have lost - Ze Adminators

Upon reading a certain section of the Illogicopedia Awards of the Decade thread over at the forum, Illogiblog got to thinking just what happened to some of Illogic's early prominent editors. As the years passed, these guys were just forgotten to the litter-filled boating pond of time... until now.


He isn't completely gone, but Asema's most prolific editing days are most probably passed. An instrumental part of Illogicopedia's very early days, he provided input for the prototype front page as well as scribbling out a bunch of articles to get the site off the ground in its first few months.

As one of the first administrators, Asema also played a big part in the fabled Proboards forum (believe me, it's never as good as you remember) at a time when it was widespread consensus that Illogicopedia would take over the world. Fast forward to 2010, and we can safely say that's definitely happened... well, almost.

And we have Asema, in part, to thank for it.

(The Divine) Fluffalizer

An Uncyclopedian 'convert', Fluffalizer hopped on over to the new Illogicopedia project and never really left. In fact, he can still be found stalking recent changes every now and then, surveying he colossus he helped create. That's Illogicopedia.

Course, in those days, he was known as 'The Divine Fluffalizer'. And let's face it: he more than deserves that title, which he presumably dropped out of fears he would seem egotistical. Remember the 'advanced' front page with awesome coding and that? Well, Fluffalizer tweaked that. The VFF engine? He implemented that, though it was originally from Uncyclopedia and proposed by Seppmeister.

It's not just for his technical prowess he is missed. His library (and yes, it literally is a library) of articles covers a variety of topics including Fish Grate Ung, carrots, chairs, mooses and vegetables.

Sadly Fluffy has other things to do these days. He's probably the only administrator with a shred of sanity for ditching this madhouse long ago... though, as I said, he can still be seen every now and then mucking about with the odd minor edit.

~ ~ ~ ~

Don't rule out a big, Elvis-style comeback from either of these individuals. If that happens, we'll be right there to report on it with typical sensationalism.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Illogicopedian Obsessions of the Decade

  1. Cheese
  2. Checking Recent Changes every thirty seconds
  3. Epics. Overrated term of the decade?
  4. Getting everyone on IRC at the same time
  5. Gold stars (less so in the last couple of years)
  6. Listing every single article you've ever created
  7. The Duck Clan
  8. Aping/copying/obsessing over Uncyclopedia/Encyclopedia Dramatica
  9. Goats
  10. Waiting for admins to judge Illogic Pickles
  11. Fixing votes at VFF
  12. New Monaco
  13. Refreshing the old Proboards forum whilst waiting for Editthis Illogic to load
  14. Taking the pee out of Wikia
  15. Achieving admin status (status, what status?)
  16. Bcbkye
  17. Super Japan vs. Subbuteo
  18. Hitler/Nazis (of course)
  19. Getting as many features as possible
  20. Illogicopedia:About

Monday, 18 January 2010

Thoughts of the Week (18th Jan 2010)

This picture has no relevance except that I like it.
  • (Independent) Illogicopedia has reached one million views according to this page. Maybe we should do some sort of comedy Jimbo-mocking banner to celebrate - keep your eyes (and bananas) peeled.
  • It's nice to see some activity coming back to Illogicopedia. It seems the collective Illogicopedian communitah was too busy eating turkey and drinking eggnog over the Christmas period, but like a nagging hangover, you know it'll be coming back very soon.
  • I have to thank everyone for keeping the Illogiblog ticking over in my mysterious absence (to be explained away by a tedious extended jobsearch), else it may have keeled over and died. As it is, the blog enters its fourth year still going strong, and it's all thanks to you lot. Yes, even you, Avril Troll.
  • Forget about GoCompare (hate that blasted advert), you can thank your stars that Carlb is such a generous man. I'm gonna personally pick the bloke who's very kindly continuing to donate server space to the Illogicopedia as The Man of 2009, and if anybody disagrees they can mosey on back to Cackypedia. All's I can say is, Waddaguy!
  • Now for a shoutout. Flyingidiot is an absolute legend and deserves a medal or something for his fervent interest in all things Illogicopedian since he first joined. A long and successful career at the wiki lies in wait should he continue in this vein...
  • A random thought... what happened to MathPoet? Has anyone seen the guy recently? I know he was working on his own Paradoxical wiki for a brief period but he's disappeared since. We gots to track him down!
Did You Know... that of Illogicopedia's 375 registered users, exactly 72.4% are vandals, trolls and users that edited once and were never seen again?
I actually just made that up, so don't take it too seriously. However, the number of registered users part is true at the very least.

Finally, I would like to draw your attention to this page. Use it for great justice. Seriously though, post your own stuff and it could get VFF nommed by I or whoever just so happens to be passing by. Just do it, it only takes a few seconds of your time, and could get you a feature!

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Illogi Classics - #23, Ominous crotch stain (Oh no!)

Dipping once again into the reeking chamber pot that is the Illogicopedia archive, we bring you yet another entry in this criminally neglected Illogiblog series. Yup, it's the first Illogi Classic of 2010!

Ominous crotch stain (oh no!)

An early gem from the halcyon days of Illogico, Ominous crotch stain first found prominence on the Wikia version of the site, a time when optimism was high and there was a general feeling that Illogicopedia was going places. Whilst it wouldn't exactly go on to conquer the world (not yet, anyway), it at the very least put a smile on peoples' faces.

Or, in this case, a slight grimace at the thought of the incontinence that shall blight us all at one stage or another. Still, better to get busy moving your mouth muscles than get busy dying, I suppose.

The article's style is typical of vandal-turned-good Testostereich, who's since become probably the site's most active contributor. Where'd we be without him, eh? Well, probably a lot more highbrow, but we shall not dwell on what could have been, for his chuckleworthy creation has been worthy random page fodder for two-and-a-half years of Illogicopedia.

Oh yeah, don't you just love toilet humour?

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Illogiblog design 'n' shizz

Yeah, I just nuked the blog surf widget on the left cos it's no longer bringing in any traffic, which kind of defeats the purpose of the whole thing, really. Also, Silent Penguin was getting well pissed off with it. ;) Still, I like to think it got us one or two new users, though there isn't really any way of telling for sure...

I feel I must apologise for never being here but, in all seriousness, I simply don't have access to a computer as often as I used to. Yup, looking for jobs in local toilets -- solely for the cash and nothing else, you understand (*cough*) -- sucks butt. Still, I'm able to communicate with you telepathically right now via a Windows operating system - none o' that fancy iPhone stuff for me.

Any of you lot fancy a new design for the Illogiblog? I might have a look around and perhaps test a few things out if I get the chance, but it's been a couple of years (?) since the last redesign and maybe a fresh outlook would be nice. Don't hold your breath, like.

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Illogicopedia is a Sinking Ship (MAJOR PROFANE RANT READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)

Illogicopedia is most definitely sinking. VFF is slow as hell. It's been like five years since an IOTM actually had an outcome. The feature changes every decade and my question is, "Why?" It's because we've lost the community/ah.

There are no new users coming in, old ones come on once a month and the few users who go on daily are stuck to do nothing but go on Recent Changes and press refresh like morons. I truly do love Illogicopedia but now I feel that me contributing is a lost cause and it's all gonna end soon anyway because of inactivity. I know everyone says that this time of year is inactive and blah blah blah but this is way out of proportion.

Everyone who has wasted nights and days on this wiki get repaid like shit. We're a bunch of users who do nothing for the wiki except for how every month they make an article. Unless you're gonna actually be a part of the community, vote for things, write on forums or even do ANYTHING for the site then just fucking quit because you're useless anyway. The downfall to every democracy in world has been people not giving a rats ass about the voting or the outcome of the country or in this case the wiki.

So do the wiki a favor and just forget about it. Because you're useless anyway. You say, "Oh voting's not my style" or some bullshit excuse like that well I hope going and fucking yourself is your style because that's what you should do. And if Illogicopedia eventually does sink, I'll make sure you guys get the blame. And for everyone that actually cares and contributes; thanks. So let's get our fucking act together or Illogicopedia will just be a waste of server space for Carlb.

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

A new decade

Welcome, Illogicopedians! It seems you have all survived to see the tenties, so well done on staying alive through brain-frying mobile phones, the rise of the Internet, the X Factor, Simon Cowell, hoodies, XBOXes and a bunch of other variously disgusting and delightful things.

Unfortunately, the 2010s are set to be even worse, with sanctimonious television personalities and overpaid sportspeople set to have their stint in the limelight in the carousel known as fame.

Illogicopedia is now entering its fourth year in existence (has it really been that long?) and is still going strong with the same core userbase it had in early 2009, plus a few valiant and dependable hangers-on.

We really ought to start up a recruitment drive to push Illogicopedia through this new and exciting age, but no doubt we won't be too bothered and continue along much the same path as we are travelling. And guess what? Nobody will care. That's what I love about Illogicopedia: the overriding apathy of the place.

Today's irrelevant image is of the moment when Jeremy Clarkson realised he'd forgotten to log out of the office computer.