Saturday 26 November 2011

Jimbo's Wails #1,084: Stop the Werrorists

Jimbo Wales appeared on British political panel show Question Time this week to appeal for calm over recent 'scandalous' edits to his Wikipedia article. Last Wednesday, somebody changed his name to Myanmar Wasburma, an edit that remained on Wikipedia for all of 120 seconds before it was reverted by a user known as SaveTheWales.
These vandals, or more accurately 'web terrorists' (werrorists) are responsible for crimes worse than SOPA and must be dealt with immediately. Here, take this stick with a nail in it and go... head forth to Texas and seek out the one named Roberto. He is no doubt responsible. -- Jimbo Wales (pictured above right with his 'Wikipedia Founder of the Year 2001' award)
Also raised on Thursday's show was the following puzzler: If one makes deconstructive edits to the Wikipedia page on Spoonerisms, will one be sent to Wimbo Jails? Answer: no, because I made that up just now. Or last night, whatever.

Anyway, you still have another few days to watch the show on iPlayer but only if you live in the UK. Evidently the BBC hates foreigners, or something. I recommend one of those UK IP masker doodads, or I would if I knew what they were.

Wednesday 16 November 2011

Remember DOS batch files?

Verily Satan our Dark Lord shall be pissed off. Trick and treaters were forced to confound Him, the Beast, in his evil machinations since there was no electrical power on October 31.  Trick or treating was moved up a week to November 6.  No demons, no witches, no black sabbath... in a word, boring.

There was a three bean salad, which served as an introduction to existential angst. Linus Pauling was to be the first speaker, accompanied by the 59th Street Bridge Brass & Jello Ensemble playing Misty for me.  During the salad and soup course, a Dali llama was tied to the podium with hemp rope while Moroccan diesel mechanics threw M. C. Escher prints rolled up and filled with deviled ham at it. Rod Stewart throat sang the theme from Star Wars, his hair being pulled by matronly types with turbans and false beards.

Apropos of nothing, things started appearing out of nothingness, briefly, immeasurably becoming a thing, then winking out again.  Such is the way of things, that even a reptile can get a decent cup of coffee in this town.

Friday 4 November 2011

New from Kellogg's: Hot Oat Jumbly

Kellogg's are proud to announce their brand new cereal, Hot Oat Jumbly. Produced in conjunction with Illogicopedia's foremost culinary talents, it's the Jumbliest, crumbliest cereal since... well, ever.

Start your day the Illogical way with Hot Oat Jumbly. It doesn't even have to be Jumbly! It can be Novelniver, Ditzimber or even Jeremy. Heck, if you're feeling especially crazy, you can even enjoy it in Octodest! That's the beauty of this fantastic new all-day, all year breakfast cereal.

Sample the delights of Hot Oat Jumbly swimming in milk, Ribena or molten ketchup for the full illogical effect. Eat in the bath, on the stairs, the bus or perhaps a hill overlooking wasteland with a fork, knife or curly straw. Why not add fresh peppers, chilli or other condiments for that extra spice?

Wherever and however you decide to eat your Hot Oat Jumbly, we're sure you'll find it a pleasant and illuminating experience. Just remember to wear a bib or your mother might get a bit mad when you get unnameable substances all over your brand new breakfast shirt.