Monday, 24 December 2007

A Christmas present

I finally got round to getting some content together for IllogiTV. The first upload is a Gallery of artistic creations by you, the IllogiBlog readers. Enjoy!

Artworks featured:
If anybody has any vids we could use on the IllogiTV channel, drop me a line.

Friday, 21 December 2007

Illogi Classics - #8, Santa

A festive special in the series celebrating the best of Illogicopedia.

This wonderful Christmas tale chronicles one young person's encounter with the fabled Santa Claus. It's a bittersweet tale embodying true Christmas spirit (in July) and a town in the middle of the kleptomaniac season:

"Tis the season to nick tellies."

I saw Santa once. It was at Tescos: he said "what do you want for Christmas? Ho ho ho?" And I said, yeah, three hoes. To do my gardening, of course. He still sent me whores though - he must be going deaf in his old age. Phew, what a Christmas that was, especially considering I was 9 at the time.

Sunday, 16 December 2007

A Merry Christmas to all three of our readers

Well, it isn't Christmas yet, but this year's festive period is special. No, it isn't the Second Coming of Christ or anything like that, we've got a Chrimbo article competition for you all. Enter today and you could* win some Christmas pudding and a lump of coal!

Hurry, though. You only have until the 22nd of Ditzimber (that's December to sane people) to finish your article, so get writing.

*notice I said 'could'
**Image by me, reproduced with kind permission from absolutely nobody.

Wikipedia denies existence of The Moon!

It's true! They don't have an article on The Moon!

No such nonsense at Illogicopedia, who have no problem accepting the existence of The Moon!

What's more, WP instructs me to return to The Moon! Who do they think I am, Neil Armstrong or something?

Saturday, 1 December 2007

Illogi Classics - #7, The 'Where's...?' series

Another unsung classic from the annals of the Illogicopedia.

The 'Where games' series was the very first article series on the Illogicopedia. Well, there's lots to choose from here and it requires a bit of clicking about but you'd better do it or you too might face the wrath of the Obese Possum.

The Where series is useful if you wanted to ask a question but found that talking to your computer monitor illicits no response. For example:

You: "Where's the blooming lavatory?"
Computer screen: "..."

Also includes the whereabouts of Osama, so if you are looking, US Government, hint hint.

Pickle results

The results for the Illogic Pickle 1.2 have finally been announced.

Sorry for the delay, the judges have been very busy recently...

Anyhow, to get more on the winners and not winners, see the results page.

Sunday, 18 November 2007

Illogi Classics - #6, Live Article

The very latest in the series celebrating the unsung articles of Illogicopedian history.

Live Article

Very rarely does an article really communicate with the reader. The Live Article will do this and more besides - it will eat you if you aren't careful, you'd better believe it.

There's also a special message for Mr. T in there if you are brave enough to read that far, but be wary for this article can contaminate your system and haunt your dreams forever if you ain't careful!

Read the article as if it being read by Borat or Brian Blessed for extra oomph. Read in the dark if you want to be scared, but make sure there's nothing under the bed first.

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Illogicopedia in Associated Content article

The Illogicopedia has been featured in an Associated Content article. We get our own section and everything:

The goofy, nonsensical wiki that is more entertaining to contribute to than to read. All of the pages on this wiki are complete nonsense, and they are proud about it. There are not many users, but this gives the community a tight-knit feel. Almost all articles are accepted, so long as they are not too obscene or random key-mashing. This is a fun, fun wiki, though the entertainment and educational value doesn't come near that of other wikis.

Other featured wikis are Uncyc, Wikipedia and Wikia. Thanks to technology writer Bo, the creator of the article.

The Illogic Pickle Mark 2

Well, the submission period for the second Pickle Prize is almost over. We'll get judging over the weekend and pick the overall best articles to win a pickle. Cool eh! You've got about a day if you're reading this on the 13th but chances are you're not, so keep your eyes on the forum post and we'll announce the results as soon as we can.

A final good luck to all entrants.

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Featured website: Duck Propaganda

The first (and maybe the last) Illogicopedia spin off website, the website for both the Duck Clan and the Ducks for Ducks political party is an exercise in propaganda. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Created by Fonchezzz of Illogicopedia fame, the site is the official source for the latest Duck related stuff. The prospective Duck Clanner can view the party's laws as well as get more information on both the political party and the clan, which is all you can ask for really. Quack!

A must for Duck Clan fans and members alike. Be sure to sign the guestbook!

Saturday, 13 October 2007

Illogi Classics - #5, Something


Originally created as a tribute to the Greatest Website in the World,, this was a companion article to the Example page. Indeed, the best revision of the page dates back to its creation on the second day of Illogicopedia's existence (existance?), making it one of the very first pages to grace the hallowed pages of Illogia.

You could argue that putting anything here would be acceptable but this is rubbish as this isn't the article for anything. It's the article for something - that is - not nothing. Or something. So, big up the greatest of the Illogicopedia thing series, the first and, some might say, the best - Something.

Thursday, 4 October 2007

Illogi Classics - #4, Illogicopedia Pipeline

The latest in a series highlighting some of the best unfeatured stuff Illogic has to offer.

The Illogicopedia Pipeline

Illogicopedia would not be where it is now if it weren't for its pipeline, a complex series of copper tubes. Admittedly, these are often stolen by druggies and sold for cash but we shall not speak of them.

Much of the pipeline's history is shrouded in mystery: no-one knows who built it. It is inscribed in Ancient Nonsense which even the world's most insane mad scientists can decipher.

This article attempts to dispel the myths and to create a whole new one surrounding the fabled pipeline. It does so wonderfully: the incredible fishiness of the haddock the pipeline provides is translated brilliantly into Illogi article form, no mean feat.

Fish on.

Whoop de frickin' doo

Illogic's article count is now over 2,000. We would like to thank our contributors blah blah blah.

Next stop, Wikipedia... then, the world.

Raw corn.

Tuesday, 2 October 2007

IllogiTV... coming soon to a computer screen near you?

IllogiTV is a brand new project in the works that will last for years! Or, just fester like the podcast.

You can help make IllogiTV.

This could be almost absolutely anything, from Jackass moments to reciting your favourite Francis E Dec rant. If you are a bit of a whizz at video editing, you can mess around with your footage too.

Just send me your footage, stuff on YouTube that might be good with a crappy voiceover or something, or just your ideas by commenting on this post!

More updates on the progress of the pilot episode coming soon...

Sunday, 23 September 2007

Uncle Pete and Illogia ~ a tale of two wikis

This week, the Illogic-Uncyc collaboration project took a step further with the creation of an Illogicopedia entry on the Uncyclopedia database by our very own MetalFLower. Remember, Uncle P is head hittable just like Illogic, so feel free to edit the entry to a higher standard of nonsense!

May I also take this opportunity to welcome new users from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia and just about anywhere on the web. The community are looking forward to your deconstructive edits.

Friday, 14 September 2007

Illogi Classics - #3, Large Concrete Structure

A series celebrating the unsung articles of Illogicopedian history.

This article has roots in the early days of the Illogicopedia and the Proboards forum which was used prior to the site's move to Wikia. Working on the historically successful format of taking puns and blowing them out of proportion, Large Concrete Structure is the essence of nonsense with its randomness and subtle article pimping.

The 'band' approach should not work. Yet it does because the pun overpowers it.

An article that will surely go down in history as an Illogi great if not just for the references to Woody Woodpecker, Tony Bear and Eeble Sonks. E. People will, in future, shout "Large Concrete Structure!" to express their disgust. Trust me. Nobody else does.

Friday, 7 September 2007


As you may know, the IllogiGames front page has undergone a bit of a revamp and the project has seen some dramatic additions/expansion in the past week. So, you can now attempt to escape from a jail cell in The Getaway or enter the realm in er, Enter The Realm.

Enter the IllogiGames portal, mortal.

Thursday, 6 September 2007

Illogicopedia is not Wikipedia

Illogicopedia is not Wikipedia. That's the advice from the heckspurts.

Elsewhere, with the demise of BJAODN on Wikipedia, its wiki is now open.

The Illogicopedia is now 9 months old.That's older than my dog! It's also over 9,000 minutes.

Did you know...

...Illogicopedia is the 105th most popular Wikia wiki, with over 1600 pages?
...that that's more popular than the Danish Uncyclopedia, the Swedish Memory Alpha and Pirates?
...Illogicopedia has over 50 active users, including 6 admins?

Remember to spread the word of Illogicopedia on the web. Extra points if you get a mention on television! Also, don't forget the official ?pedia forum/website banners.

Monday, 3 September 2007

Illogi Classics - #2, Click for free holiday!

A series highlighting the unsung articles of Illogicopedian history.

Click for free holiday!

The difference between this and those stupid newspaper holiday offers is that the Illogicopedian version isn't a load of rubbish. It's true, you really do get a holiday. You don't even have to pay anything, despite what the article says.

An integral part of the article is the feedback section, which is surprisingly positive considering the cheap destination on offer. It also has nothing to do with Euroipods whatsoever, though has a faint whiff of propaganda about it.

I still can't find out who this 'Somewhere' is though. I tried Googling for him, but to no avail...

Thursday, 23 August 2007

Illogi Classics - #1, Example article

A new series highlighting the unsung articles of Illogicopedian history.

From the guts of the Illogicopedian monster spewed the Example article - one of, if not the first article ever written for Illogicopedia. Perhaps the definitive Illogi article condensed into a short repetitive ramble: self reference, nonsense, blue and red links. All these are contrasted with sane sentences to ensure the reader does not literally become insane whilst reading the article. That's why sanity was written.

The 'See also' section would prove to be a lucrative method of expanding articles so they don't get eaten by Mexicans, thus saving many from the wrath of the werevolves. So in more ways than one, the example article would set a good standard for pages to come.

Friday, 17 August 2007

Fake Cheats?

Fake Cheats is an old project of mine that was kind of abandoned. In short, it is a place to post fake video game cheats you have found or just made up. Having accepted the death of this wiki, I hereby donate the content (all three glorious pages) to the Illogicopedia, and hope the project has more success at a more popular wiki. If not, then so be it, but make what you will of this:

Another party?

Ok. Well it seems the Ducks For Ducks party (being as new as it is....) is no longer new. And I always thought we already had a communist party, the Strangled Cats, but maybe... those are just Nazi Kittens. Well, good luck Communist Calamity. You'll need it.

Thursday, 9 August 2007

Illogicopedian Times: On sale now

The new issue of Illogia's in-house publication, The Illogicopedian Times, is in newsagents now. Click the cover above for a taste of what's in store this week.

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

A new political party emerges!

Fonchezz, the radical mentalist independant, has created his own party, the Ducks for Ducks. It's like the others only more quackers. So, if you feel so inclined, join up.

You don't have to be a member of the Duck Clan, which is a separate thing, you can join any time you want without invitation.

Monday, 30 July 2007

The True Power of Bcbkye

Okay. We all know (and fear) Bcbkye. With the recent upcoming of Illogicopedia: The Text Adventure (made by none other than myself, a personal project), Bcbkye plays a fundamental role in the game, along with various other famous figures. During the game, you might fight the Cult of Duncan, defend the Strangled Cat Party's "stash," or thumb wrestle with Chyaku Norrisu, but none of it compares to how deadly Bcbkye is the game. Want me to explain?

First off, the first legendary item of the game, the "Book of Bcbkye," should be carried, even early on when you don't have Hindleyite's Bag of Stuff to hold more than 12 items. But when you read it, you die by all of your unraveled secrets. If you try to give it to someone, the book "evades your grasp. maliciously." It doesn't resist if you try to drop it, but that's because it knows a way to irritate you.

So why, pray tell, should you carry the book? At a certain point in the game, you'll find a Brooch of Sanity; if you read the book while wearing it, you'll find out where the Grue article is; since in the game the only way to kill someone is to read their article (there are NPCs who don't have an article), the book will be invaluable, wiping out all normal grues.

Next, Bcbkye is deadly because most of the enemies are linked to him. Though often you'll find that talking to Duncanists will result in "Hail Duncan!" sometimes they will say, "Hail Duncan and the three cardinals!" One of these cardinals is Bcbkye. I'll leave it to your imagination who the other two are.

Later on in the game, you'll find yourself holed up in the forums -- OMG CHANGE OF SETTING -- but for what? Zombies. The forums have been littered with debris, brought to the brink of destruction. And all because of Bcbkye leaking the secret to bio-organic weapons.

And the end of the game... Let's just say...

Saturday, 28 July 2007

In completely insignificant news

This night, incredibly powerful (honest!) technology (Dun dun dun!) allowing you to draw the line more confusingly than ever was implemented at Illogicopedia: The Confused Line™, utilizing the Confused Line Segment™! Just type <hr class="confused"> into an article and bam; a most perplexingly confuzzled line will greet the viewer of the resulting article formatting! Try it today, for the low price of Your sanity!

Friday, 27 July 2007

Illogiblog featured on

That IllogiTV special feature has only been up for three days and already it's getting some attention:

How to Edit Illogicopedia and get banned

What's more, it's on the first page of results for 'Illogicopedia' at Google search. The influence of Illogic on pop culture continues.

Illogiblog is back, baby

OK, so it's been inactive recently but I hope to get more attention for the blog, mainly for Google search purposes. More on this in a later post. The new blue design may be a bit gaudy but it represents a new era in Illogibloggings. Or something.

So, check back here for the latest IllogiNews, straight from the chipmunk's mouth.

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

IllogiTV: A Special Feature

Brought to you by your friendly neighbourhood oppressors.

Vandalpedia reminiscence

Run from the little fishies! They stick to the filters and EAT THE FOOD. Then catfish come and poke them away. The poor little fishies. They never had a chance.

Never kaboom, lest ye ingest the fallen ones. Hot smores, coming through! Make way for smores!

I'd like to buy a hot smore. Stuffed in a Pop Tart. In a package. From the vending machines. That don't accept five dollar bills.

Plushies are fun. Especially when they are trying to imitate little green peas with Santa hats. Also, I think I bit the inside of the side of my mouth on accident. Because it's really hurting.

More nonsense at the Vandalpedia archive

Tuesday, 17 July 2007

Calling all multilinguists!

Recently, the first alternative language Illogicopedia, Irratiopedia, was created. The Illogicopedia plans to expand its languages project and if you can speak French, German, Spanish or any language other than English, you can help!

Currently foreign language articles held on Illogicopedia are listed in the Illogicopedia in other languages category. If enough interest in a particular language is generated, a full wiki may be requested.

Otherwise, we encourage users that can be bothered to create portals for languages, linking to all articles in that language. Your help can make the Illogicopedia multilingual.

Discuss this article on the Illogicopedia languages page

Monday, 21 May 2007

Calling all readers

Hello? anyone out there? does anyone actually read this stuff?

Hears Echo come back to him.

Huh, guess not then.

Saturday, 19 May 2007

Illogicopedia Featured Writer


In our latest attempt to copy Uncle Pete, er, I mean improve the quality of the wiki, the inaugural Writer of the Month has been initiated for May. Users can vote for and nominate their favourite writer(s) for the award.

The winner shall receive a rather fetching amusingly shaped trophy to be placed on their userpage: The Golden Banana.

Soon to come, more awards and stuff to reward out dedicated users! We'll keep you posted.

Saturday, 28 April 2007

Party name change

Party42 has changed, its no longer known by its drab old name. Party42 has become the vibrant Apathy in Action (AIA). Don't join it though, as the Strangled Cat Party is for all your cat killing needs.

Sunday, 22 April 2007

The Sanity Cycle

As of 22th of Arply 2007, ?pedia now runs under the sanity cycle.

This cycle means that the names of the months of the year have changed as follows:
  • January - Jeremy
  • February - Farbleum
  • March - Arche
  • April - Arply
  • May - Aym
  • June - Yoon
  • July - Jumbly
  • August - Ergust
  • September - Serpeniver
  • October - Octodest
  • November - Novelniver
  • December - Ditzimber
These come into effect as of ......... Now!

Thursday, 19 April 2007

Houses of Illogiment

Alright, see. It's like this. The evil admins have formed political parties which will, from now on, compete with each other and just generally be there for the heck of it. The Strangled Cats, the Illogicrats and Party42 will be fighting, er, I mean, whoring themselves out, for your vote. Only you don't need to vote, just watch them argue.

So if you wanna be part of the, er, 'fun', join one of the parties now and enjoy all the delightful things that it may entail.

More Info Here.

Your Right Honourable Friend,

Sunday, 15 April 2007


Alright. I've decided to answer common, but illogical, questions about the administration on ?pedia. In this case, it's the ever-present question if we truly are evil. In fact, there's no denying we're evil, after all, just look at our headquarters! It's absolutely evil, is it not?

If I wanted to be more detailed, I could explain HOW evil we are, so I'll do that. If we can't eat something, we shred it, iron it, burn it, and THEN eat it. If that doesn't work, we know it's a grue and stick it's head in a toilet, giving it a swirly. Actually, all that way a lie by way of the eeble sonk. You need to know KARATE to get rid of that stuff. Darn.

On the subject of good, if you ever imply we are, we will send you to a realm of such discomfort and unpleasantness, and they we will, umm... hurt you! HUUUUUUUURT YOU! Yeah, that's it... heh... heh...

Hindleyite Pwns

Yesterday at 8:19pm, Hindleyite compleatly pwns every user on the ?pedia forum, well done on that most sad of achievements, writing too much.

Wikia IRC gateway

At last the Wikia gateway is working with ?pedia's channel, now Hindleyite can also join in on the empty chatroom. Oh what fun.

Saturday, 14 April 2007

Our new Wikia overlords

I for one welcome them... with a great custard pie to the face! Ha ha! Only joking. I need that for food. Anyway, don't forget to update your bookmarks to the following address:


Don't bother. We've moved to here:

Welcome to the Illogicopedia weblog

The Illogiblog is Illogicopedia's official off-site station for news, views and general craziness straight from Illogic HQ.

Illogicopedia is an insane repository of words put together in no particular order. It could be defined as a collection of randomness, a celebration of stupidity and insanity. It's a bit like the Uncyclopedia, only we are much more relaxed in the content we accept: nonsensical articles are kept and nurtured to be of a higher quality of babble.

The blog is, however, generally more serious in its nature: topics covered offer a more reasoned insight into the Illogicopedia and its associated projects. You might even say... it is logical.

Well, some of the time anyway.


The blog has been running its Illogicopedian Classics series, which has covered some of the best unfeatured content since August 2008. As a result of their appearance on the blog, some articles have consequently gone on to reach featured status on the wiki itself.

Tabs are kept on Illogicopedia in the general Internetosphere, with the ultimate aim of creating a log of activity around Illogicopedia in the press. It is hoped that one day, this will be used to create a Wikipedia article which is not deleted within a week.

Aside from regular columns, there are the Thoughts of the Week, featured websites, Illogitoons and much, much more to satisfy your hunger for all things Illogicopedian. Check the 'features' sidebar for what else is going on this week.

A bit of Illogicopedian history

Since its inception in April 2007, the Illogiblog has been an accompaniment to the Illogicopedia and its projects, with site news and updates as well as snippets from some of the best content. It has covered momentous occasions such as the move to Wikia in April 2007 to the independence movement that dominated 2008.

The blog has undergone numerous redesigns and even launched a logo competition in May 2008. The current blog logo is an adapted version of a design by Robomilk, whose entry was selected from a grand total of three (!) entries.

An explosion in the number of posts occurred in September 2008, with a number of new editors joining the Illogiblog team. Since then, the blog has gone from strength to strength, spurring editors to create topics on all aspects of Illogicopedian culture ranging from political wranglings and heartfelt rants on the state of the wiki to irrelevant ramblings and general nonsense.

Woot, and loth I edit.

Well, I would edit this blog for a site at wikia called Illogicopedia, wow that sounded like a shameless pug for my site, heh, I guess I typed it that way huh. I say I would, but my Keyboard is broken, so I won't be able to post. And that my young reader is why you don't believe everything you see on the internet. TOASTER! oh, sorry about that, So iv got to go now because iv got to {{Insert Crappy Excuse Here|Wash my hair|Take my pet rock for a walk|go and do less important but far more enjoyable things}}, so I might type you later. So long loyal fan.