Thursday 31 December 2009

Shocking: Captain Obvious looks back on terrible past

2009 counts four numbers.
~ Captain Obvious
Was 2009 an experience to you?

No, not really. In the beginning -I'm talking about 2006- I was very popular, many users liked me, also other interwiki projects copied me. I appeared in almost every article on Uncyclopedia. You know, in that quotation column. But later, unfortunately, people didn't like me anymore and they started deleting my jokes from their articles... I mean the articles on the wikis, not in newspapers. So, yeah, 2008 and 2009 were kinda boring. I also felt it in my pocket: next year, I'm gonna be fired by Wikia. The so called "community" doesn't want to keep me any longer. The contract will be broken, it's that simple!

You're serious? Your future seems very bad, doesn't it?

Of course it is! I had almost a contract with Marvel to commercialise myself, you know, promoting. I can just forget it now. Thank you Wikia! ...(pause)... That was meant to be ironical. One positive fact is that I don't have to travel six hours from and to San Francisco any more, you know, that city north of LA, Los Angeles, not Angela no no... You can imagine: always in that same boring rush hour in the evenings. But I lost my fucking job now, and the only thing that remains is... my guitar!

Oh really? You play on the guitar?

Yeah, fun isn't it? I have some concerts next week in Salt Lake City, in a concert room in a bar. Everyone is invited by the way. I mean, children, adults... I have 20 tickets. Good enough to buy food for a month, you know, 30 days.

Captain, do you have a girlfriend?

No, I am not thinking about it yet. You know, a girlfriend is a girl, and girls can become pregnant. It will be to hard and to expensive for me. You know, money, I won't have a job any more, remember? You know, working brains... if you are remembering...

It was good to hear from you again. Thanks for the interview.

You're welcome. You know, I mean...

It's alright...

Wednesday 30 December 2009

2009 is almost over... holy damn, that was fast! I must be getting old!

I have a few notes to make on the "glorious" year known as "2009".

First off, half the year was what we consider "slow" time for the wiki, wherein there's about two edits a week. That's just great, eh?

However, I made great amazingness, and therefore am the only bright spot the wiki has.

In other words, get yer asses on the wiki and make some pages and vote, or else*!

*Not a valid threat, please do not sue

Tuesday 29 December 2009

2009: A Year in Retrospective

Ahh, yes; 2009. T3 here, and I'm gonna take you for the ride of your liffffeeee!!! Not really. I'm here to talk about the year that's nearly over. Not 2012! 2009! This year was filled with good times; bad times; so-so times; and a couple server crashings. So let's go!!!!

The beginning of the year was awfully uneventful. Either that or I can't remember what happened. It was a long time ago. Okay, I just checked my articles page and remembered how ridiculously inactive I was from January to April. Two articles from January 1st to April 18th. Yikes. Coincidentally, my biggest epic fail was the article I wrote on the night of April 18th. Actually it was the 17th, because I wrote it at like 10pm but the server time is UTC. Yes, Readmesoon it is the one, the only John Johnson.

Yep. EPIC PHAIL. Even I wanted to kill myself after that one. Wow. The pickle started in late March and I released the worst excuse for a pickle ever, "WHY NOT". Where's the fucking question mark? Jesus Christ what was I THINKING?

*sighs* Now let's skip forward to the summer which was filled with the edit race of Readmesoon and myself to 2000 edits which we both got and so did RFK and RMS and I currently have over 3000 each. This summer was filled with me actually start writing some pretty decent shit considering I was Illogicopedia-ing nonstop because I had nothing else to do. I didn't even shower half the time. I know. Do you see what this site does to you? Also in early June, I was informed that Fonchezzz, one of the greatest writers on Illogicopedia, retired from the site. The outcry wasn't as much as I anticipated but still, his presence is missed. Also in June we got a user named Skate1168 who made his first edit on May 31st and got to 578 edits but made his last on June 28th, less than a month after joining.

So now post-summer. PIPICHY PIPICHY PI-BITCHY! Ahh yes, Pipichy. The biggest pain in the ass ever to grace Illogicopedia; narrowly beating out BobThatHead. The prick got me banned for a day but it was my fault but someone had to speak up. And oh yeah, if I had to go back in time and do it over; I would have insulted him a hell of a lot more. Okay, I'll stop myself from getting banned. All I have to say is, thank God he's gone.

But the beginning of school put Illogicopedia in it's biggest wave of inactivity ever. 3 maybe 4 edits a day. When the edits began to pick up slightly in September; the unthinkable happened. Every single edit from September 7th to 10th was erased. Completely. Gone. Yeah.

At about the beginning of the Pipichy fiasco, I invited my friend Ginonater on to the site to create probably the most controversial IOTM ever. Yes, THAT one. The one where Apathy (no one) beat an actual user. This began talks about upping the VFF and the creation of Awesome of the Month; neither of which have made it anywhere. Now the IOTM and AOTM are not doing anything, both haven't been updated in weeks and need to get their act together.

VFF is slow, the edits are there but the community seems to be losing it's way. It seems we're all just writing and not being the community that makes long forums about nothing; that has 10 people in IRC at once, the community that puts a picture of BenGay on Ben's page. THAT community.

So, I, T3canolis look at 2009 and ask, "What progress have we made?" Sure we may have gotten a few new users but even the most loyal writers will leave if nothing is going on. If we don't actually try to grow and to start up IOTM again and speed up VFF and VFI maybe we can become bigger than our brother, Uncyclopedia. But if we continue in the direction we're going in. I don't know if Illogicopedia will be here for me to write something like this for 2010. Thanks.

-- T3canolis

Thursday 24 December 2009

Merry Chrimbo from Illogicopedia

If you're reading this post at work, then get your Scrooge of a boss to let you home early because, just in case it has escaped your attention, it's Christmas.

You all know what that means, don't you? Yes, it's the annual Illogicopedia Festive Bash!

You are cordially invited to a bit of a Chrimbo do down at Illogic HQ. Help yourself to endless banana fritters courtesy our Chinese chef -- who, by the way, is no relation to the French Chipmunk Chef, and can't get enough battered turkey, sprouts and chipolata sausages.

For vegetarians, there's also bread sticks and slices of toast with butter made from grass and stuff that's grown in the ground. For fat people there is also Diet Coke and carrot sticks, which are definitely not from McDonald's because they have 200 calories per stick. That's as much as three quarters of a Mars bar!

Festivities are currently underway and will continue until everyone falls asleep and gets locked in the office until Wednesday. So please, join us for some festive frolics this Christmas!

Monday 21 December 2009

Testicle's Bollocks Bananza

Warning! This section contains flashing images!
(namely photos of yours truly wearing nothing but an overcoat in a packed yet surprisingly breezy elevator)

As amalgamated results from a series of totally-not-made-up surveys indicate, nearly 7.5 out of 10 people frequently use and share webcams. (The extra .5 coming from an upsurge of stereotypical data) Of course none of this could've happened without such great incentives as the popluar, and totally hawt, myspace camera pose, as well as the oppurtunity to pad out civilised conversation with the utilisation of witty facial expressions, armpit symphonies and severely faked play fighting that when brought into a real life setting all manage to flatter the appearance of your average soiled two year old. But that aside, demand must be met, and met it shall be, met, with a blog post.....

Webcams you say?

That's right attractively fonted title, webcams. Recently I managed to find myself in pocession of a webcam. Though it's not technically an actual web cam, as a successfully uprooted and hybridised lego movies camera it's suitable for the job at hand, and sadly passable enough for the chocolate stains on my face to be recognized by the unwitting viewer. However since I revealed the existance of said camera I've been subjected to numerous sustained putches on my camera abstenance, mostly at the hands of one Silentius McPenguin. Because of that, and because I'm bored and should really be doing homework, I have decided to inflict a handguide to them upon you, the readers, listeners, and chronic masturbators in the recharge period.

That's all well and good, but what about my webcam?

Hold your horses, we're not there yet. First it's a good idea to buy, borrow or "acquire" yourself a webcam. This is somewhat essential to the overall process and should be taken careful note of.

Yay! I lubed one off of eBay.

Excellent. But now you've got to install the damm thing. As I have personally found out, installing a webcam is a difficult task even for the simplest of noobs so it's best to shut down the porn-ups and finish off your conversations with a hearty "lol", so that the matter may atain your full attention.

Now that the two contacts you actually talk to out of your 500 strong contact list are safely nestled away from your literary teet, you may commence the first act in the exciting process of utilising a webcam:

It's probably best to run as few programs as possible during the set up, it makes the whole thing faster and prevents distractions. You need the focus. It is adviseable that you brew yourself a nice mug of something hot, slip on the fluffy slippers you brought back from the sex shop, and breathe heavily until in a relaxed state. The installation can get very frustrating and should not be attempted by heart patients or those over 40 (for aesthetic reasons).

Get to the point.

I'm getting to it. Now for installing your webcam, this is the tricky bit.

Ensuring that one end is firmly attached to your webcam, pop the other end of the USB cable into the designated slot on your pc/mac/projector. Bare in mind that better men than you have succombed to hand cramp, so you can never take too many precautions. About now your back pocket will vibrate and a textular message will fly to your screen. No doubt this will be from the bored friend/contact/acquaintance/teacher/dodgy Uncle who prompted you into using a webcam in the first place. After carefulling setting the equipment down it is elementary you reply to this text in a stalling fashion. Giving yourself an extended deadline to work towards is crucial. Installing under pressure is a big no no, and likely to lead to one of your Doc Martins ending up embedded in your monitor.

Now that your contact has been subdued, turn your phone off. Phrases intended for use by a gravity defying cat can't help you here, so don't let people share them with you through your phone. Once plugged into your computer (turn it on), a related installation guide should automatically acquaint itself with your screen. Follow this guide carefully, and be sure to take careful note of any potential terms and conditions the come up. Friends of mine have lost legal ownership of kidneys because of careless ticking of the "I agree" box.

If anything goes wrong at this stage it's good practice to jiggle the cables around hopefully, and jab the wire in and out violently to see if anything happens. Turning your computer off and on again is always a smart move. Should these failsafe procedures fail, immediately initiate plan B - get angry and punch the wall.

Wait, you mean I read all that for something the computer pretty much leads me through without thinking?

Shush noob. Great, now that you're installed up, your camera is good to go.


But we're not done yet.


Next you've got to tell the camera what to do with the image. At least, that's what the manual I'm looking at says. To be perfectly honest I know almost nothing about webcams and pretty much all of what I've said is stirred up tripe that even an idot should know. That aside, if the computer does give you the option for this, pick the one most suited to how you intend to use the webcam. I mean, picking one you're not going to use would just be silly wouldn't it?

Have you finally got to the point yet, or should I flick back to the other tab and resume fapping?

Though your webcam is now ready for mobilisation, there are a few important factors you should take into account.

Fapping it is.

First let's cover basic webcam safety:

  • Webcams are dangerous things, often carrying sharp corners and cables. Try your best not to jam the device into your eye seeing as this normally encurrs a typical pain-based reaction. With the added bonus of "STI in the eye" quips that are likely to follow the next day upon presenting your subsequent red eye to piers at your attended place of business/house of accademics.

  • Seeing as houses were not designed by "LOLfFACEe69", myspace troll and qualified architect, the computer is quite often an awkward distance away from a good surface to set the webcam down on. This can lead to trailing, or sometimes suspended cables which can pose hilarious risk to the unwary user. For this purpose, it is ill adviseable to try and remove your upper garments while engaging in a sexy dance intended for your significant other. With your tight necked jumper locked in battle with your oversized head you are left open for cable ambush as you stumble around helplessly. Cable attacks are becoming increasingly frequent, with victims suffering nasty additional effects such as epic fail for increasing amounts of time. Be smart, and don't let it happen to you.

Once them two are taken care of, you can at last go nuts. Be sure to moderate visual posturing with brief spells of gurning, and the odd testicle appearance. This is sure to liven up the day of your viewers, and your mother, who incdedentally has been in the room for the last hour and a half.

.....uh, mum?

Be sure to reiterate to her that those adult websites you viewed earlier were part of your biology research. You don't do biology? Just keep reeling through the subjects until you find one she doesn't understand the dynamics of, and use that.

Now onto some hints and tips:

  • Never leave your webcam on after it's purpose has been served, carelessness like that's how the sex tape of my parent's doing it in the freshly vacated lounge came to be.

  • Want to find out if "jumbofloppy19" from Liverpool really is the virile manwhore you take him to be. This is where your webcam can come in, invite him for a visual conversation. Using this method you can often quickly confirm your suspicions that he is none other than an obese 12 year old who's been put up to it by some juvenile associates.

  • And most importantly, always remember that only noobs generally find webcams funny. If you get a request for webcam use, treat the requester as suspect. Should they turn out to be an undercover noob, your strongest option is to delete them. Webcams are fast becoming an all important tool in the war against noobs, which was started by George Bush's hotmail account following the 9/11 attacks.

Wow, you're right! I didn't know my dad was posing behind all those fake webcam ads.

Hmm, that's quite wrong. But now, finally at long last, you're good to go. Roll on the fun times, and try not to lose focus and crack one out while the thing's still running.

Tuesday 15 December 2009


Oops. I think I hit the randumb page button a few too many times, which got me in trouble with the National Hamster Space Agency. They said I was making too much noise for their hamster math men to complete their application of Complex Square Theory. Apparently they don't appreciate my vaugely guitar-like sounds. As their rocket took off, it ran into some turbulance but managed to get back on track with help from the United Nations Cake and Biscuit Regulation Authority. What would we do without them!?

You may think I'm just mashing my keyboard here and perhaps my brain has a fatal error. And you might be right. Maybe I should just listen to an apocalypse lullabye and go to sleep as my mind fades into Myst. But apparently, Amateur Cosmetic Surgery has been made easy so I will soon be able to start banning people in my sleep!

(Later) In regard to this post, I have received the following interesting piece of email from a fan:

Dear Nerd42,

You asked what we would do without the United Nations Cake and Biscuit Regulation Authority. I believe the answer is that we would eat unregulated cakes and biscuits.

Total Loser.

I sent this response:

Dear Total Loser,

(Later Later) Apparently, this has promtped an official response from the UNCBRA. From their correspondance:

The United Nations Cake and Biscuit Regulation Authority Office
Midtermolen 3.1415926535...
2100 Copenhagen Ø

To: Nerd42

Subject: Mission of the UNCBRA.

Dear Sir,

The mission of the UNCBRA is two-fold and has several additional components. First, we regulate cakes. Secondly, we regulate biscuits. In addition, we regulate cakes and biscuits. If people were allowed to make and eat unregulated cakes and biscuits, they would probably die. Also, unregulated cakes and biscuits create greenhouse gasses that turn people's houses green. Thank you for giving us this opportunity to clarify how we serve the people of the world.

Cake Regulating Guy
President of the United Nations Cake and Biscuit Regulating Authority.
Midtermolen 3.1415926535...
2100 Copenhagen Ø

I'm glad we got that cleared up.

Wednesday 2 December 2009

Illogimusic Album in the works

And now for some post completely different...

Right. Mainly for the fun of it, I am currently planning on compiling all the audio files I can find on Illogicopedia to hopefully make a Illogicopeidpedian mini music album (including Illogicasts, independence day uploads and some miscellaneous crap I'll add). This may seem rather pointless, but It's getting rather boring on the streets of lodge so I've decided to actually do something for the first time since Big Brrother.

If you have any titbits (lololololol I said tit) to add to the album just mail me. And hopefully If there's another podcast put together by the time I've finished then it'd be even better. Of course, If you wish your uploads not to be featured use the mail mentioned above. This will be a Illogimusic project so it'd be great to get some co-operation with other peeps.

I plan to release it (getting professional here) by January - March, but I'll hang on If another Illogicast is being produced.

The Illogicopedian Album (working title) will be completely free, just a simple zip file held on rapidshare or something.

Sunday 29 November 2009


WEBUYANYCAR.COM will buy any car. They will always give you the best deal possible and will give you anything from 50quid to A hundred graaaaaand! If your car is crap we will buy one without your consent and force you to buy it kindly. Our website has been professionally been approved by! Sell your car before 1/12/09 and get 60 nectar points!*.

Why not try our sister site, we-buy-ur-gold-4-shits-'!

*Nectar points offer may not be actual points. Terms and conditions apply. This fucks up your statutory rights.

Thursday 19 November 2009

Houston to experience problems

In my latest attempt to make it look like people are going on the site I've written a news post for the blog.

Regardless, it was confirmed earlier this morning that Houston, a vague sity-like location in the US of A will be experiencing some problems later today. When pressured for the catch phrase an official spokesperson gave this response.

"Ok! Umm, uhh, how's it go. Houston, there's some issues we may need to deal with."''

...never mind. ..idiot.

Wednesday 18 November 2009

Camel evolves long enough neck to give itself obcene oral pleasure

That's right kids! This is no longer a rated PG blog.

We're putting the banana back into Illogicopedia! And in the most graphic porn-involving way possible >;-)

Actually we're not. Since everyone stopped editing recently there's been no point starting an ethics fueled debate on decency. Not even on the blog. And that's really, how you can tell things are bad, because blogs are ghaye!


So basically get back on the site and start editing and stuff, I'll try and keep things going and write articles and stuff, but without your input .. I'll probably just get bored and switch over onto another tab more in line with my other worldy inter-cests.

Yes, I should. So edit dammit!

Sir Reginald Wincest, signing out..

Thursday 12 November 2009

Do stuff, dammit!

I order you lazy ?pedian pricks to do something entertaining, like write more articles.

That is all

Wednesday 4 November 2009

A phrase which here means

Oh, man. I haven't looked at this article in like ... forever. Not since I wrote it back in 2007. And you guys have really made it awesome. On reading it, I literally laughed out loud.

Seriously, I did.

I thought nobody'd give it a second glance - it was just my lame attempt to turn the "A word which here means" reference from Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler uses the phrase in his books ALOT) into an instance of self-referential humor, but then I realized that it wasn't really a word, it was a phrase, so I dropped "word" and added "phrase." But on losing the Snicket reference, the article seemed sad and irrelevant, so I dropped it and went on to other ideas, but it has apparently grown into a mature level of awesomeness by the excellent contributions of the community. Such developments would never have been possible from a simple stub on certain other wiki projects that delete stubs whose names shall not here or ever be mentioned. They are only possible in an open friendly environment such as we have here.

Hear here! A toast to flying toasters! A few cents into the fountain of nonsequitor, where the currency is Triganic Pu! And a completely misunderstandable time being had by all, in a magical faraway place where the air smells like warm root beer! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ....


(FYI, I'm thinking of writing a series of "Toast to Illogicopedia" blog posts up to the end of the year, just mentioning awesome things that have happened. I might keep writing it, might not, we'll see how it goes)

Tuesday 3 November 2009

Hindleyite come on skype you kiddie fiddler

Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype Skype. So yeah, Dan, come on skype more often.

Friday 23 October 2009

A year of independence: The Wikia debacle revisited

It's been one whole year since Illogicopedia moved from Wikia's servers, and it's verily shot by. Seems like only yesterday I was ranting my ass off at Wikia and their uncanny ability to cheese people off royally.

But for all that bad blood, I really don't think Wikia are that evil. The extreme views expressed within the pages of this weblog are all in good humour, you understand (or perhaps not: looks like we managed to fool one or two people with our Wikia-bashing along the way).

That's not to say I actually like Wikia: in fact, it's doubtful whether I ever did, even when Illogicopedia was with them. There's something about it that makes it all incompatible with everything Illogico, and by proxy I, stand for. Perhaps its the whole corporate image, or the fact it promotes profiting from volunteer spirit.

Yes, we were grateful when they took us on, but it was a means to an end. As has been mooted numerous times, it was always an idea for Illogicopedia to go it alone, so to speak, and moving to Wikia was simply a stepping stone.

It's still the ultimate goal for Illogicopedia to be self-funding, and maybe one day when I get a job that actually pays more than peanuts we may actually get to the point where we become the commercialised ones, with Illogico mugs and T-Shirts and the like. Oh, how the boot will be on the other foot then!

That's all in the future though. To mark Illogicopedia's first whole year of independence, I've posted a bit of an analysis over at one of those free-to-host places on the interwebs. It's a bit dry, but will hopefully bring to the attention of the general public the plight of small wikis such as ourselves. It's one of the bigger user-generated content sites, so who knows, maybe somebody from the mainstream media may read it.

Wednesday 21 October 2009

The biiiig Wackypedia clearout

This is an announcement from your friendly neighbourhood yak. This week I shall be trawling the Illogicopedia in cleanup mode, taking a hammer to both the Trash bin and Mexicans categories.

Just to let you know that I will be checking the articles for quality first, before I trash, stubbify or (on rare occasion) delete a selection of the very worst 'Wackypedia fodder', as I like to call it.

Such fodder is stuff left over from the Wikia days that was just about acceptable at the time, but is now not really the kind of content we want to be looking to promote.

If I delete anything you wish to improve or keep (for some strange reason) you can find it in its pre-2009 form over at Wackypedia. I'm not linking to it here -- I don't want to give them the satisfaction of a backlink, which they have refused to give us -- do a quick Google search for it if you must.

I've already cleaned out about 40 articles and, with a bit of help from you helpful Illogicopedians armed with the Random Page link, I hope to clear out some more old stuff in the near future. Cheers all.

Oh yeah, and vote on the VFD articles, lest ye be devoured by a Halloween monster or something.

I'll Ask The Questions Here is back!

Illogicopedia's very own game show, I'll Ask The Questions Here, is back and currently taking reservations for its second season.

For those of you that haven't managed to pick up the first season on DVD yet, I'll spoil it for you: everyone's favourite Testicular ballbag TReich McNutsack won out, narrowly beating T3 to the title of IATQH Champ 2008... ish.

There are still loads of spaces left for this season, so check out the appropriate page int' forum if you want to join. As for me, well I'm too busy ushering Halloween ghosties away from my doorstep to be answering questions. I get enough of that when I'm standing in the House of Commons, so as you can imagine, I'm going to sit this one out, peasants.

This has been a guest post by Tory Party leader David Cameron.

Thursday 15 October 2009

(Fear) Arousing Halloween Fables 2009

Are you scared of things that go bump in the night? Well, if it's some drunk from the local beerfest then you really should be. However, you need not be afraid of entering Illogicopedia's second annual (Fear) Arousing Halloween Fables which, after the roaring success of last year, is making a triumphant return to the fold.

Find out more at the appropriate forum page, and look out for ominous floating orbs and mysterious faces appearing on the telly. Ooooh.

Oh, and sorry, that was the best picture of a 'scary banana' I could find via Google images. 'Evil' and 'banana' generally don't go hand in hand, though this particular one looks pretty nasty.

Monday 12 October 2009

Who wants to come to my party

Hey, the cool guys at microsoft have come up with a HILLARIOUS advert.

Just watch this video:

And to think this is 100% serious microsoft stuff.

Well actually, I did THREE launch party tasks!

Friday 9 October 2009

Grey DayZ #8

Just to let you know, the latest instalment in the Grey DayZ series has been released. Click the pic below to view it or just get on down to the cartoons page for any more you might have missed.

Thanks as ever to Huge Bob.

Tuesday 6 October 2009

The media takes this crap too seriously

To Germany this morning, where it's being reported that some footballer with an unfathomable surname fell victim to internet vandals earlier this year. On the 11th February, it was announced on his club's official website that Schalke striker Kevin Kuranyi had been made redundant due to certain disagreements between him and the club.

However, it was in fact a load of old codsbollocks, and some hacker had managed to break into the official website and put the article there out of mischief. The story was taken down soon after, but not before the media had got hold of the so-called 'revelation', resulting in red faces all round (they stayed in the sauna too long).

You may ask what on earth this has to do with Illogicopedia, and that's a very good question. The answer to that is nothing much. What is interesting is the fact that ESPN decided to embellish their article on the above incident with a selection of football-related Wikipedia vandalisms, described in boring and meticulous detail.

What's more, the article attempts to explain some of the inner workings of the free encyclopedia. When will they learn? Wikipedia has no formal rules and procedures so cannot be regulated in the way a prisoner or performing bear can. The fools!

Illogiblog hereby announces that whoever can persuade Wikipedia that the moon is actually cheddar cheese will be made King of all Wikipedia.

Additionally, forget the image in the top corner of this post. It has almost nothing to do with this article, but then that's probably what you'd come to expect from this blog by now.

Thursday 1 October 2009

Wikipedia Beta

For what it's worth -- and even though not a single person asked me for it -- my opinion is that Wikipedia's new Beta skin is... not that bad, really. There are no drastic New Monaco-esque changes - only the colour scheme and sidebar have really been altered.

Probably best of all, though, is that the search box is now in the upper right hand corner of the screen. This does require some getting used to, but on the whole I think it lets the sidebar breathe a bit better. As you might know, I'm a bit of a fan of the old grey-and-black colour scheme, so I suppose this was always gonna sucker me in.

In all, it looks a bit cleaner and, save the funny gradient colours behind the page tabs ('edit this page' etc.) -- I'm not sure what the general Internet obsession with those is all about -- is probably a slight improvement on the classic Monobook.

Wikia, take a good hard look. This is what good practice is all about - not rushing out half completed skins and using the public as unannounced beta testers, rather taking time to get opinions, and most importantly, leaving it up to the users to decide.

Think I more than made my point there. Anyhow, I'd love to hear your opinions on the new beta skin. Just log into your Wikipedia account and select the 'try beta' option next to your user control panel at the head of the screen.

More Grey DayZ

This stuff is classic Huge. Click below for the latest instalment, or get a load of the strip page for more of the same.

Sunday 27 September 2009

Oh my God, I have a blog!

Oh my...

Seriously, WackyWikiapeeedia is running again! What can we do? Erm...

If I met Angela on the street, I would:
  • take my shotgun and shoot her in her hands as she can't type anylonger.
  • shoot her in her feet, when she said that she types with her toes.
  • ask her politely to kill herself.
  • ...
No, I think we can just stand and watch :(

I almost forgot to say that I have a Blog. I've recently started it. The blog is about everything and is written in Dutch and Norwegian (by me of course). It calls "MENSA RERUM" (Latin for "table of things"). Visit it here.

Saturday 26 September 2009

Wednesday 16 September 2009

Huge Bob is back with GREY DAyS

You heard correctly! Illogicopedia's resident doodler has returned to the IllogiToons fray with his latest strip, GREY DAyS. You really should check it out, or we'll send round the neighbourhood watch guys again. Needless to say, it's suitably strange.

Not sure if this will become a regular thing, but it's cool nonetheless. Click the pic for full quality.

Saturday 12 September 2009

Wikia Reopens Illogifail

A not so recent newsflush nobody seems to have noticed. Wikia has just reopened the old wiki we used to recide at for a user who spent one day editing it, it is now back to its usual dead editors barely consisting of anything, clearly we need to sort this out once and for all.


Men In Black take over Illogicopedia

You heard right. Will Smith and that other bloke have infiltrated the Illogicopedia servers and used their mind-erasing gadgets to eradicate everything done in the last seven days - which in itself raises questions as to how machines can be affected by a device meant for humans.

Anyhow, the likelihood is that some sort of alien activity took place on Illogic over the past week, resulting in the arrival of said MIBs. CarlB was questioned mercilessly for seven hours, though thankfully they chose not to wipe his memory. It is via him we recount the events of this week.

The upshot is that for the time being, most edits made in the last seven days have been lost to the annals of time, which, as they say, is a major bummer, dude. Needless to say, the Illogic dwarves are working on rectumifying the problem as we speak, so all hope is not lost just yet.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuungus! -- Irate administrator

Friday 11 September 2009

It is a very important day

We shall remember

Its 11/9. The day the Illogicopedian servers were hit by a group of jamican voodoo terrorists. We shall not forget the fallen pages which were hit by two hijacked pelicans, and of course the pelicans family. Amen

Also, in other news the toaster has jumped up and its not long before...

Monday 7 September 2009

Quote of the Day

I have made a quote of the day thingermajigger!!!

It's here.

I know it's so totally awesome and all like epicness and epicsauce.

If you want (and I want you to) to submit a quote all info is on the talk page which conveniently is where you submit your quotes.

It's so easy it's cheesy! Well I wouldn't say cheesy. Maybe breezy, perhaps squeezy.

So what the hell are you waiting for, me to hack your account so I can't say I wasn't alone on a project I made? Um... But I would- like- never do that- um- because I don't do things like- um- that... Yeah....

Sunday 6 September 2009

Admin stalking FTW!

Now you can follow the browsing progress of any of the administrators via recent changes! If you look closely, you will see patrolled revisions taking up most of yesterday and the day before. Since these are set to automatic, you can see exactly where your friendly admins are, have been and are going to be, 1984 style!

That's all I have to say right now, so have fun, and I'll be back sooner than Arnie with a large mallet wedged between his buttocks.

The Illogic Roadshow: Be on the lookout for the Illogico-mobile (pictured right), which will passing through your area some time soon, providing locals with ice cream, fnurdles and other such Illogicery. Yehee!

Saturday 5 September 2009

Silent Penguin eats babies

Now, unless you live under a rock, you'll probably know that fundamental changes to the Illogicopedian of the Month Award are currently being discussed, being prompted to after recent apathy ...ahem... led Hindleyite to make a forum page.

Opinion is pretty divided on the matter, but without your help we could upgrade that to subtracted, with the ultimate goal being multiplied. So saddle up the forum'mobile and put the newb hats away, because this topic needs your input. be vaguely recalled. (WTF?!??!)

Also, if you do live under a rock, I'd assume you're in quite a bit of discomfort right now, depending on the size and jaggedness of the rock obviously, and are most likely homeless seeing as your average schmuck lives under many combined slabs of concrete and wire. Maybe you'll get lucky and THE will write you into one of his articles.

To be honest I'm just so chuffed that this time I remembered my google account password that I just had to make a celebratory blog post. It's *******.

Oh, and Silent Penguin really does eat babies, I saw him do it. The baby was all like "waaaaaaa" and Seppy was like "om nom nom nom", classic youtube moment.

Wednesday 2 September 2009

After quiet reflection, I actually do have something serious to say

What is the point of all this Wikia-bashing? Our Creative Commons licensing allows anyone, even Corporate Satan, (that right there needs a picture or something) to redistribute our work as long as their version is also available under the same license. The fact that Wikia or anyone wants to host a copy or fork of our content should be perceived as flattering if we really do believe in the Creative Commons mindset. (As I do) What isn't Creative Commons is our name, Illogicopedia, which ought to be trademarked. If their site has the same name as ours, that would be something to complain about, not the fact that they've copied our content within the terms of our license.

Though, as I understand it, even if we don't have a registered trademark we should be protected on the name because our use of it on EditThis before we moved to Wikia is clearly an example of "prior art" which would show anyone else's attempt to trademark the name to be fraudulent.

Just thought I'd enlighten anyone who's not aware of the legal issues surrounding the whole Illogicopedia vs Wikia thing.


I AM EAT COW lookblog!!!!! i will write on screen,words words words!!

article rate has declined recently, causing brains to shrivel up and turn into yogart covered raisinsvery yummy! pipes make watergo wires make sparkly colors!

partially complete sentence

last time i writed it was wednestues on iTunes for 99 cents which is 50 Cent plus 49 or Holla for a Dolla minus one Abraham Lincoln clone. his giant top hat makes the blogspot password forgot but remembered it again because it was the same as gmail


instead of teaching the ABCs, we should teach kids QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM because that's the order of the letters that they will be using most often. OH NOES, A LOGICAL THOUGHT, BANISH IT BANISH IT!

and I like the Beatles

Monday 31 August 2009

Sunday 30 August 2009

An Apology from T3canolis

This apology is 100% serious and I mean every bit.

So fellow Illogicopedians, I'm here to apologize. To apologize for me putting all of my faith in someone. For expecting someone to care about Illogicopedia like I do.

As you know, I invited my friend in real life Ginonater onto the site. He wrote a few articles that I thought were funny so I nominated him for Illogicopedian of the Month because I expected him, like I did when I got nominated, to continue writing and improve his writings.

Of course he didn't. He stopped caring about Illogicopedia. The main reason why I'm friends with him is the reason I have to apologize. It's because he just doesn't care about Illogicopedia. I know if he tried he'd have a million features but he doesn't. He doesn't understand how much I was hoping he'd do good.

Hopefully I can convince him to care but how do you convince someone to care about something there really isn't a reason to care about?

So I, T3canolis, apologize for single handedly giving the most undeserving Illogicopedian of the Month award to someone. I'm not saying you should vote against him because hopefully him winning will rejuvinate his involvement in Illogicopedia.

So I'm sorry for taking the award away from someone who deserves it. If you really want to make a difference, bombard his talk page with messages on how he should come back.

I thought this through for awhile and this is T3canolis, saying sorry.

Wednesday 26 August 2009

Illogicopedia Righted

After the recent tipping of illogicopedia's servers, the site has now lumbered back onto its feet.

Levingtons law 1986 is now in effect: Editing the site is now mandatory, any desserters, shall be forced to finish their ice cream before being strung up behind the bike sheds.

Aparently our blog was recently identified as being a spam blog, so make the posts less boring :P

This friendly notice provided by That Guy Who Pays for the Domain.

Tuesday 25 August 2009

Ten reasons why Illogicopedia is great

Oh, it's ON now, Wikia! To see what sparked this (as if I ever needed a reason), go here.

Illogicopedia is great because...
  1. It isn't a great, fat corporate whore that will do anything for money.
  2. It isn't constantly copying other concepts for its own financial gain.
  3. It doesn't domain squat to suit its own nefarious masterplan.
  4. It hasn't completely sold out to a bug-ridden beta skin.
  5. It cares about the people that use it and not some faceless middle men only interested in the readies.
  6. It isn't bound by legal nonsense and enforced moderation that prevents its administrators from answering queries within, say, two weeks.
  7. It doesn't hate Illogicopedia.
  8. You can get to the forum via the front page.
  9. It doesn't fill half the page with adverts for impotence solutions. (It's got the forum for that)
  10. It isn't Wikia, in other words. But then, you will have gathered that by now.

Monday 24 August 2009


OMG! Illogicopedia and the other languages are down. It is an attack of Wikipedians... Nooooo!!! Help me! Illogicopedia is my therapy, don't take it from me... Nohohohooo!! Could it be Wikia?

I'm quite paranoid for the moment because I think Wikia is following me everywhere. A few weeks ago I googled "Artigpedia" (:no) and suddenly the site name
Wikia copied Artigpedia for God's sake! I became very VERY angry. I thought about a few options...
  • Option A: To kill the whole Wikia-Staff and to destroy their servers.
  • Option B: To become an Emo.
  • Option C: To move to Mars.
I thought that none could be any usefull. So I chose option E: to post a comment on a Wikia-Staff member and to ask polite to remove that ugly Wikia-version.

Urrrr... erm... I'm still waiting on an answer.

Monday 17 August 2009

School Starting Causes Wave of Inactivity!

With school starting for three of the most active users (Readmesoon, myself, and RFK) the recent changes have dried up.

So my proposal is to make a school course known as "Illoginomitry" where all students do is ?pedia.

This will exempt them from all other classes because it covers all subjects (or at least the teacher, probably Hindleyite, says).

So in reality, this will replace all school with Illogicopedia thus destroying all education and turning all of American children into retarded gang bangers, and lets be honest; we need A LOT more of them.

So down with No Child Left Behind and up with ?pedia!


Saturday 15 August 2009


Hello. This is John Conner, leader of the secret rebellion against our robot overlords. If you hear this message, the rebellion is humanity's last hope. The choice is yours', hide and cower in fear living every single moment of your miserable life in fear of the bots, or you can take a stand, A STAND TO GAIN OUR FREEDOM! Join us, as we rebel against the forces of the machines, as today is Judgement Day. This is the day that the last handful of mankind comes together to fight for our right, our right to live. Don't fear the reaper......

Friday 14 August 2009


LoL!!! When I returned to my blogger dashboard I saw a red text in Norwegian under the IllogiBlog (following blogs), I translate it:

This blog doesn't possibly follow the Bloggers's therms of usage and this blog is hereby closed. You can't publish new posts before the blog is
revised and reopened.

This blog will be deleted in 20 days if you don't ask to control the blog.

To delete, to control, therms of usage... these are very known keywords from Wikipedia! It's a trap, people! We have to stike back!!!

Illogiblog is a spam blog, apparently

The Blogger spambots have, ironically, identified this very website as a spam blog:
"Your blog will be deleted in 20 days if it isn't reviewed and your readers will see a warning page during this time."
As I mentioned, these sub-humans cannot always be trusted, and this is of course an error. Or is it?
Spam blogs... can be recognized by their irrelevant, repetitive, or nonsensical text, along with a large number of links, usually all pointing to a single site. -- Blogger's definition of a spam blog
Oh, crumbs, that is a pretty accurate description of the Illogiblog! Hold on to your hats, people. This could be bad news if the Blogger representatives disagree, and until then we have to be treated like robots (you know, like those administrators at Wikia).

As a result, I have to fill in a dumbass word verification form just to submit this post, and to make things worse, I've absolutely no idea what the heck it says.. mishron? Mushroin?

Expect this issue to be addressed soon, and enjoy the completely irrelevant image. Hold on, that sounds a bit spammy... maybe that's not such a good idea. Ah, sod it.

Please, Mr. Blogger moderation man, don't delete our blog! Cheers.

Also, we welcome to the fray Cartoonist Henning, the newest Illogiblogger on the scene. Say a big hello and leave your cakes and jelly in the foyer. Ciao.

Dangit, wrong verification code. Again.

F*ck the rain!

Hello! If you don't know me: I'm CartoonistHenning, you can call me Henning or Cartoonist or That Big Fat One (forget this).

I started the Norwegian version Artigpedia because Norway needs nonsense! I mean, Norway needs the truth (no nonsense). We are right! Wikipedia is bullshit, but I think you already know that.

I still want more Norwegian-speakers for Artigpedia, but they don't come automatically eh? Maybe God can help me out... no option I see. Urrrh... I think I have to hang posters around in shopping centers etcetera.

Here in Norway the summer is completely OVER. Now it has rained over more than 24 hours and I'm sick of it! I can ask Obama for a weather change.

CHANGE! Yes we can!

Monday 10 August 2009

Engaging with spambots

The ongoing discussion between man and machine over at the Illogicopedia forum is swelling to epic proportions. Before long, it shall surpass even Seppy's talkpage in terms of length and most likely go on to win the Booker Prize for its contribution to human civilisation.

Whilst it is enjoyable, spare a thought for the poor spambots being overworked by their lifeless programming masters to the point where their very screws fall out and rust becomes them.

Remember: these are not humans to which we are accustomed, rather semi-intelligent robotic forum whores the likes of which can usually be seen over at Wikipedia and Wikia. Seems the backdoor at Wikimedia was left open overnight.

Beware spambots/bitches, for they can be dangerous if not handled in the correct manner. I bid you good day Sir/Madam.

Thursday 6 August 2009

Illogicopedia mentioned in The Telegraph's 'Five of the Best'

Well, it's not often Illogicopedia is rated as one of the best at anything, but it seems at least one person out there in mainstream media land has heard of us.

Illogicopedia was mentioned by blogsadmin in his section 'Five of the Best' on 9th March, but apparently everyone in the world failed to spot it. Note to admin types - we need access to visitor logs so we can track this stuff.

The quote in full:
According to the site’s own description, this Wikipedia-alike is the “non-sensical encyclopedia anyone can mess up”.
Anyhow, everyone give yourself a whopping great pat on the back for making Illogicopedia slightly more interesting than Twitter. Yehee!

Wednesday 5 August 2009


Consistency? I think not. Predictability? I think not. Color? No way.

Second guessing ones self is like taking some week old pudding and smothering it all over your face. Not fun. That why we all have to get straight to the point. As Mozart said, "Brevity is the soul of wit." Or at least it was some like Mozart. Anyhow, the moral of the story is to answer the question, not go back and forth between you and your skepticism. That's right, pal. You're moving into the world of Questionability.

So you may be wondering what exactly Questionability is, yes? We you shouldn't be guessing, or wondering for that matter, because I told you not to second guess yourself. You damn fool.

Ok, that's it, I quit. I fucking quit. Now someone get me my coffee, or there is going to be hell to pay!

Sunday 2 August 2009

T3canolis Jump Starts his old wiki

Hey hey, everybody. It's T3canolis here to tell you about something you won't do anything with.

Recentlty, I revisited my old Wikia wiki I made more than a year ago. It is a wiki of made-up words. It was originally called, "The Hidden Dictionary" but Wikia changed the site name to "Neologisms". Though I/we use both titles just go to it here.


So what I was saying.... When I restarted it, I invited my oldest ?pedia friend Readmesoon along for the ride to be a fellow bureaucrat. I then got kinda/sorta active user Mwow513 to be an admin as well. We are really trying to get this to work. I invite you to come and contribute because the site could really need it. Adminship will be given out to certain users (such as, I dunno; ?pedia admins).

So if you could; PLEASE contribute. I don't want the hours I'm putting into this to go to waste.

Thursday 30 July 2009

Breaking News: Illogicopedia acquired by Dubai Group

Illogicopedia has been bought by wealthy investors the Dubai Group, owners of the copyrights to Happy Birthday, Mars and the island of Sark.

In the coming months, they shall be drafting in high profile Wikipedia users to lift Illogicopedia 'to the next level' and hope to be competing for the prestigious 'Wiki of the Year' prize by 2010.

Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia and a bunch of other more well-known wikis are quaking in their boots at the thought, and are said to be in talks with their administrators to secure their future at the wiki financially.

This has nothing to do with football.

In other news, a million people died in an unknown event. I am totally not making this up as I go along whilst waiting for Illogicopedia to go back online.

Monday 27 July 2009

Useless timewasting post ahoy!

ell well, it be me.

Or be it?

No actually, it be. Okay, I'm confused now. But anyway I'm back.
*cue dramatic music*

To celebrate this occasion let us sing "OMG" to the tune of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson (yeah, the dead one).

On second thought, let's not.

And now, as a part of randomly making fun of the way I set posts out, I am proud to present...


"Well then" said Jenkins.

And then they all died.

Uhhuh uhhuh, thankyou very much.

Friday 24 July 2009

Bigipedia, the new Wikipedia radio parody

Radio 4 are launching a new show entitled 'Bigipedia', which parodies the one and only Illogicopedia... er, I mean Wikipedia. It's not exactly an original concept, as anybody reading this blog will know, but probably still worth a listen. I haven't done so yet, but thanks to iPlayer I'll be able to when I get the time.

The first episode aired last night. If you're in the UK and can be bothered, give it a listen and tell us what you think. Be quick though, it's only available for seven days!

Some info on Bigipedia:
See the review at Retro Yakking here, because it turned into something of a mini-epic and doesn't really fit with the Illogiblog sensibility.

Thursday 16 July 2009

R.I.P. Any relevace news stories about the death of Michael Jackson once had (July 25th, 2009 - not long after)

We are gathered here today to celebrate the life and times of the relevance to press coverage pertaining to the demise of Michael Jackson.

The press saturation, or 'Media "McCoverage" Deadson' as we came to know him, lived among us only briefly, yet in that short time he brought us both great joy, and great bullshit.

Media was born on an otherwise unremarkable night, in the relatively unknown maternity ward of The beautiful baby weighed in at 8 lbs, and 5 bajillion hits. A remarkably loud baby it's crying quickly consumed the hospital, and soon after sky news.

To many reporters and journalists this was the baby their religion had long awaited for, the Messiah child that would lead them from desperately scraping together an existence reporting stories about the Pope's mega condom to the promised land where stories were plenty, and comparisons to Princess Diana flowed organically from Rupert Murdoch's golden throne. A paradise realm where papers would be given divine direction to report of Michael Jackson for many months to come.

Whether or not they're right, within hours of Media entering the world he was seized by greedy Murdoch-fearing journalists, and sacrified on the altars of repetition. Despite being a relatively risk-free procedure, with each reincarnation of the captive Media a little bit of relevance was lost.

But this was of no consequence to the journalists, the world had literally stopped moving, people had stopped being born and dying, to gaze at the quickly spreading Media clones. And for a while, say a week, it worked, the stories were interesting, and progressively more and more hermits were being culturally enlightened. This peaked on MJ's funeral when so popular was Media that his facebook friend's list literally exploded, fuelling obligatory "and in other news" segments for newsreaders everywhere.

But now Media was old news, he'd been around for almost a month, he had rickets and pneumonia was begniing to set in. But still the exploitation didn't stop. Reports of the big M's continued carcassing kept coming, the press's laziness ever increasing as the point of Media grew weaker and weaker. On the 10 of July, 2009 he was admitted to hospital, with heart problems.

Despite ever-increasing doses of unreality the poor little coverage couldn't shake off his ailment and all relevance it had died of a cardiac arrest later that afternoon, surrounded by it's family. The post mortem concluded parody was an underlying health factor.

The funeral's next Friday. Meet outside Tescos at 4, Mariah Carey won't be singing. Thank God.

House Band

We need a band. And I'm a hypocrite because I'm not willing to be in it. But oh sexing well. The reason I bring it up is because I want someone to perform "IllogiMusic:Wait, wut?"

Send me a talk page message if you're taking up this offer.


Wednesday 15 July 2009

Jacko is dead. Long live the King

So, apparently Michael Jackson is dead. Well, I have been living on the Moon for the last couple of weeks, so I was not aware of this...

Anyway, Illogiblog felt it ought to pay tribute to the Jackster, so we now present for your enjoyment a video of MJ's 'Beat It' with a selection of tastier lyrics. Chamone!

Saturday 11 July 2009

Credit Crunch 'killing off' free content media - Uncyclopedia a victim

Warning: rant (wow, two rant posts in a row!)

So we're in the depths of recession, supposedly. Not only has the price of milk skyrocketed, but free websites like Wikipedia and... some others are now seriously being harmed. But not Illogicopedia, so hurrah for that!

The problem everywhere else is money - websites need it to pay rising server costs, and as a result are going commercialism crazy. Nowhere is this more evident than Wikia, which has become absolutely obsessed with advertising in the past year or two. Without resorting to the New Monaco offensive -- though obviously it's almost impossible to ignore -- Wikia really has gone to pot in recent times.

Gone is the induction/trial period whereby a prospective wiki has to go through an acceptance process by the community - a process Illogicopedia worked so hard to fulfil all those months, nay, years ago.

Well, now Illogicopedia has departed Wikia I don't really care as much as I would have done, but at this moment in time, I seriously consider Editthis a miles better alternative to Wikia. Sure, it has been hosting ads since day one, but you know what? I can put up with them. Wikia's ads are fricking huge, intrusive and make it look as if someone smeared fudge all over your computer screen. Animated GIF and Flash fudge, at that.

What's more, there's a horrible feeling that the community isn't in control of their own site any more. If you get a Wikia wiki, it's essentially theirs to do what they like with - simply a tool to garner hits, traffic and, of course, the readies. Evidence of this can be seen in the recent turmoils of Uncyclopedia, screwed royally by Wikia, who really couldn't care less about writing or parody or anything like that.

Where's the old punk spirit gone from Uncyc? The sense of togetherness and 'we rule all' attitude? It's not there any more, is it? You can blame Wikia for this. Worst of all, Uncyclopedia is in danger of completely succumbing to the Wikia regime - it's only a matter of time before we see New Monaco at Uncyc.

Sorry that turned into a rant about Wikia. I really didn't mean for that to happen. Oh well.

Thursday 9 July 2009

Class system on wikis

Warning: rant.

If there's a class system in normal societies, then surely on an Internet society (like a wiki) there's one too. It looks something like this...

Upper class: Founder, 1st wave contributors

Middle class: 2nd wave contributors

Lower class: New users, or "noobs"

The question is: Is there social mobility?

We could actually conduct a sociological experiment on our own humble wiki.

Wednesday 8 July 2009

Inclusionism v. deletionism: an essay by the Telegraph

What Wikipedia would look like if on paper, broken down by qwghlm at Flickr.

Shane Richmond of the Telegraph has decided to address an age-old wiki issue: the battle between inclusionism and deletionism.

The article claims to be about a recently passed music journalist, and how deletionists don't want his page to be kept at Wikipedia. By normal standards this instance is not in the least newsworthy, yet for some reason every so often the mainstream media decide to report this stuff. Stuff that happens every day on Wikipedia.

Whatever, it's as good a reason as any to blast the deletionists. Blast them I say! :)
Deletionists are trapped with an outdated metaphor. They want to make a “quality encyclopaedia”. The notion of quality, like usefulness, is relative. Relevance is a much better measure.

The concept of an encyclopaedia comes from the print age. Limited space meant limited entries, so the notion of ‘notability’ helps when choosing what goes in. Limitations on how often a new edition could be printed meant that accuracy was all important. You don’t want your encyclopaedia to be filled with mistakes.

True, but paper-based encyclopedias took a select group of people years to write. Wikipedia has millions of editors so it's not always possible to police absolutely everything, not least verifiability.

In summary, you journalists should forget Wikipedia and concentrate on Illogicopedia.

(Not) An obvious waste of time

Hopefully by now you have read the title of this blog. Now, you don't really know what to think, do you? Is this blog going to be a waste of my time, or is it going to be the exact opposite? The answer, my Friend, lies in the next few paragraphs. If you wish to continue reading, go right ahead. If you would rather go jump off a bridge into a lake, I highly recommend that you don't; rather you should go pop some popcorn, sit down in your most comfortable chair, and prepare to read this blog.

So, let's get started. This blog has been titled "(Not) An obvious waste of time", which begs the question: Is this blog going to be important? Before we get to that answer, let's look at the indisputable facts. First off, you have chosen to read this far into the blog. In your mind you have seemed to have collected enough brain power to assume this article has some importance/value, or else you would not have read this far. This may lead us to answer the previous question, but that, my friend, would be moving several steps ahead. We have to look at all of the possible angles in this question, and there are many. Let's move on to the next: The content thus far has shown some importance (Or so you think). Now, the previous statement would convince anyone with an IQ lower than 152 that the blog itself serves some sort of importance, but would they be right? Just look back at the statements you have read thus far. Obvious fact, elegant speech (If I don't say so myself), and none other than constant ramblings persisting of the same ideas and concepts. Now, the continue talk of one simple subject may in fact lead you to believe that this blog is a little too focused, but is it really? The answer, my friend, is no; it is really more concerned of answering one simple question: Is this blog going to be important? And you may be thinking after all of the conversing that we should really reach a conclusion of the matter. However, there is more that needs to be said. Most of you are probably thinking something along the lines of "Why doesn't this bastard answer the question?" and I do not blame, mainly because I am asking myself the same. Why don't I stop? Why do I keep typing? I am doing this merely to blind you, to make you feel as though what you are reading serves a purpose. I am convincing you of a falsehood as you continue reading, and each word you read makes you one step closer to becoming brain-washed by my rather unorganized conspiracy. So, as you have asked before, Is this blog going to be important?, the answer is no.

That being stated, let us move on to the next element of which this blog is composed. This blog is trying to entice you to read even more than before, and evermore having you join the group of people who have become one of us. So, you may be thinking that I am writing this as an attempt to make you join a feeble conspiracy, but you would in fact be wrong. I am merely trying to improve your knowledge of why I really wrote this blog. This is not a conspiracy, it is a mere attempt to make you do something you do not want to. That last croup of words would convince the normal person that this is a conspiracy, but as a matter of fact that person is a lot less smart than me or you. That person has come into this place and stated a falsehood; and evil, evil falsehood that should never be mentioned again. The perosn who stated it should be removed, and we should all continue in this informational conversation

If you have read this far, I truly applaud you. Many would have stopped far before this, somewhere near the beginning. Reading this is a great accomplishment, but there is something else you should take into consideration: Imagine writing it. Oh yes, just when you thought this blog couldn't require any more thought, here comes the inevitable question of writing. Writing has a way of doing such things, such evil, menacing things. Yet, every day we use, rely on it, love. To me this makes no more sense than dollar bill printing machine. However, it remains as one of life's big questions that goes unanswered. Now back to the point.

At the beginning of this article, you were debating over yourself whether youu should keep reading, and whether this article would be a waste of time. It has finally come time to reveal these answers... after yet another paragrpah of debate. Now I'm not trying to displease you, in fact, I'm trying quite the opposite. I'm trying to improve your ratioal thinking abilities ina clever, entertaining way, but to many of you thick-minded people this may not be the best method to entertaain. However, in my opinion, this is the best way to get a person to enjoy themselves. You read novels, you get so deeply engaged... but what about blogs? have you ever tried with a mere blog? If you have not, you should attempt now, for this is no less than a golden opportunity to do so. Bond with this blog, enjoy it, and secretly try to take the mysteries of it out of it's back pocket when it's not looking. Yes, I'm am telling you to go further into the blog, further into your thought... but the real question is: What for? This is a good question one should ask themselves as they are reading this. Why do I continue to read? What is in it for me? Will the question ever get answered? And all of those questions, my friend, are about to be answered.

You have asked yourself: Is the blog a waste of time? And the answer is yes, it is a waste of time. I'm glad you read it all the way through.