Illogicopedia at 5: Eight Great Illogicopedian Feuds

Picking fights is supposed to be discouraged at Illogicopedia, but for one reason or another we all seem to love the associated drama. I'm not suggesting we change the site's name to flamefestopedia.com (we don't have the money for a start) but in its five year history, Illogicopedia has had more than its fair share of Richard Heads. Oh sorry, we're talking about feuds aren't we? Sorry about that, but it wouldn't be an Illogiblog post if I stayed on subject for more than a paragraph, would it?

1. Subbuteo vs. Super Japan. A war of words between Illogicopedia's greatest international superpowers, the Subbuteo-SuperJapanese conflict dominated the early years of the wiki. On the one side, the home of every superhero ever to exist. On the other, a nation of crazies whose greatest passion is roasted grilled marinaded bay leaves with sushi. A recipe for trouble, you would assume, but this particular battle fizzled out quicker than a particularly bad Korean firework. Though no peace treaty was drawn, apathy took over and the combatants went home for coffee and biscuits before a single physical blow was dealt.

2. Silent Penguin vs. Flameviper. Illogicopedia's single greatest exponent of vanity --oh sorry, I meant conflicts of interest-- was a source of much early Illogicopedian 'drama'. Perhaps the most memorable moment of this feud was a YouTube video featuring said serpent mocking Silent Penguin (amongst others) in a cod-British accent. The resultant 'Soylent Penguin?' comments could easily have been Illogimeme fodder, had the site cared for such things, but users were more engaged in post whoring on the ?pedia Proboards forum.

3. Illogicopedia vs. Uncyclopedia. Illogicopedia readily accepts its position as an Uncyclo 'spin off', but many at good old Uncle Pete regard the Nonsensical Encyclopedia as a childish experiment in monkey cheese and banana fish. This has, unsurprisingly, led to the odd Uncyclopedian crusade to destroy Illogico. None have been even moderately successful, though there was that time Silent Penguin's had his haddock stolen by drunks from the Departure of Fun. Oh, what a jolly jape that was!

4. Illogicopedia vs. Wikia. As long as Illogicopedia has existed, its users have had gripes with its host. The site first set up camp at Editthis, ran on a server in some guy's shed, which was highly prone to leaking rainwater-related downtime. When Illogicopedia persuaded wikihost big boys Wikia to take them under its wing, many rejoiced.

But time proved Wikimedia's newest bessie mate wasn't necessarily all it was cracked up to be. Cue bickering and complaining, which escalated into full-on rage when Wikia introduced forced skin changes in 2008. Illogico bid farewell to their host of more than a year, but not before a series of angry, unprintable exchanges with bigwigs as resolution talks completely disintegrated. Illogicopedia would have to leave, and in November found a new host in the form of Carlb, who to this day continues to provide Illogicopedia with a warm, welcoming home.

5. Illogicopedia vs. Avril Troll. A curious case, this. Avril Troll began his ?pedia career as a vandal expressing his extreme love for a certain Canadian songstress (no, not Alanis Morissette, you muppet) in no uncertain terms. In a moment of wiki-Stockholm Syndrome, however, he vowed to do good and join the ranks of Illogicopedia as a full paid-up member of the establishment... and then promptly went back to his old ways, terrorising the site like never before. Are we dumbos or what? In his time as a do-gooder, his best work was probably The Terminator, but a great many of his non-vandalistic contributions were actually top notch.

6. Athyria vs. Noob. During 2011, Poor Athyria had the unenviable task of mopping up the sticky mess left by countless spammers on their salt-fuelled rampages through the streets (and fridges) of Illogiland. What she didn't bargain for was Illogicopedia's latest noob, the aptly named Another n00b, Jumbly's newest arrival. In a protracted war, Athyria blocked n00b seven times for a variety of reasons including Arson, Fraud and littering. Though n00b is a largely reformed character, one senses this battle might spill over into 2012, so watch this space. Or Illogicopedia, whatever.

7. Illogicopedia vs. Roberto. Every Illogicopedian has, at one time or another, suffered at the hands of the evil Roberto. Nope, not that bloke off Fresh Prince of Bel Air --I think that was Alfonso Ribeiro-- but some unemployed hick from Texas with nothing better to do than vandalise a small-time, "backwater wiki only regulars care about" (Athyria). In his reign of terror, the faceless vandal everybody loves to hate has been responsible for 96% of all downtime since June 2008, and even brought Uncyclopedia and Wikipedia to their knees in the Great Wiki Crash of March 2010. As punishment, he was made to eat his own beard, but that didn't stop him - nothing can. Except perhaps... health food? Hand me my trusty banana...

8. The Member Coalition vs. Good Taste. 'Membergate': One man's own attempt to extol the merits of toilet humour, Cockbeast (named after a chicken, of course), ignited a huge debate over Illogicopedian taste standards in early 2010. Thankfully, this period of bickering didn't last too long, and served the important purpose of injecting activity into the wiki once more. If one looks closely enough, one can still see faint remnants of what was a short but intense altercation that truly split opinions.

Read more about some of these subjects in this Illogicopedia article on the subject of, erm, Illogicopedia.

Has Uncle Pete hit rock bottom?

After Uncyclopedia's Forest Fire Week 2011, Nerd42 and Kevillips tied for the petaQ'a'pedia logo contest and the discovery of Cheeses, you'd think there couldn't be any more controversies. But then again...

It seems that Uncyclopedia, ?pedia's well-known competitor, has had an error that made all of the pages look like plain old HTML. Not at all like Wikipedia's new look, which is obviously what they wanted it to look like.

Well, we at ?pedia say go get 'em! Anything that takes the heat off of us and Roberto, Roberta, oscar.uncyclomedia.org or whoeverthehellheis is awesome. (Plus I'm still mad at them for huffing all my articles in the Forest Fire Week 2011.)

That reminds me: did you know that Encyclopædia Dramatica is lower than ever?

Roberta has roundworm

Illogicopedians and the infamous Roberto have once again become entangled in quantum mortal combat. Consequently, fans of illogic have been denied access to the world's foremost source of drivel. This will not do. In fact, it's caused some of us to start depositing more dreck here to offset the great cosmic imbalance created by the nefarious vaguely-Hispanic sounding-named villain we have all come to dread.

Particularly affected by this state of affairs are Uncyclopedian refugees, miscreants who, for some reason or other, have become disillusioned by Uncle Pete and his reign of terriers, or alternately, have been banned for life from the lamp of Sophia's countenance. We delusional wanderers of teh internets, harbingers of cacophonic hirsuteness, are somewhat distressed. Most of us have never experienced such an outage, lasting about a week now. Is it possible that Roberto and Uncle Pete have formed a temporary alliance? We may be witnessing a page from The Art of War here. The enemy of my enema is my enema bag?

Representing its users and content?

Uncyclopedia's Sophia begins rottening! I'm right: now there is something that represents its rotten humour and users. By the way, maybe the EHEC-bacteria has something to do with it, rearing its head on the Internet. After six years, Sophia (now also already beaten by the Brazíliânhios) suffers under the Wikia-cancer, which has spread its sickness around the articles.

Perhaps you didn't notice yet, but all Uncycs should work normally now. After five days, Carolus Magnus caught Roberto, forced him to eat his beard, and eventually sent him away back to Mexico. Once over the Canadian border he was stopped, the border customs nabbed him on Marihuana, so he couldn't cross over (neither he could stay in Canada). Therefore, he had to bricolate a float, navigate the St. Laurence River down, etc...

And eh... Sony is hacked... yay!

Uncyclopedia vs Illogicopedia: Battle of the Ages

Ever since man first picked up a keyboard and mashed randomly at its keys in a drunken fashion, he has craved an outlet for such endeavours. An outlet which accepts his vision of 'art', or, more often, stuff made up in the space of less than five minutes. His thirst would be quenched in the latter part of the Noughties during the so-called 'Golden Age' of the humour wiki.

First, there was the Uncyclopedia, the content free encyclopedia anyone can edit. Man latched on to this new invention, proclaiming its inclusionist culture a gift from the gods; no longer would he have to rely on a crummy Blogspot blog with one design template for his pointless thoughtdumps.

Some years later, Uncyclopedia brought forth much waste, out of which was born the Illogicopedia. The two wikis were polar opposites, members and supporters of the latter generally eschewing the deletionist ideas upon which the Uncyclopedia had now built its condominium (heh, condominium) of Internet society.

For three years, never the twain should meet. 2010 saw things change, however, in a dramatic overhaul of Illogicopedian sensibilities. Well not really, but it became obvious ?pedia had changed much since its 2006 inception, now resembling its uncle in not only appearance but content as well. Uncyclopedians could now make the 'leap' to Illogico with relative ease, assimilating with its culture and mating with its females with much promiscuousness.

Illogia welcomed the Uncyclopedians with open arms, awarding them Nutri Grains and bits of left over pizza from the back of the fridge. All was well, for now.

Then, in 2012, the Illuminati collaborated with beings from the planet Rodallega 5 to stage a fake invasion of the world, causing mass hysteria and much unrest among the general populace.

Silent Penguin was shot in the face and could not be revived through regular means of resuscitation and human CPR techniques. Carlb was mortally wounded and both the Illogicopedia and Uncyclopedia servers irreparably damaged in a series of devastating attacks led by Roberto and Francis Winkler. When questioned, they simply replied "we did it for the lulz."

It was the EDians. They had killed the humour wiki, using Winkler and Bob as pawns in their morbid game of chess with users the horrified victims. Illogicopedia and Uncyclopedia were dead.

Uncle Pete turns into crappy inside humorous website

“Oh I'm extremely gay.”

~ ChiefjusticeDS

Oh lord. Uncyclopedia featured an article about a USER? Wohooo, now my respect for that site took a deep dive, like the temperature did last days. Although I've always known that he's gay, I've just been shocked by the fact that Uncyclopedia ruined its prestige completely. Who the fuck cares about a depressed, über-frustrated, insignificant gay administrator? Dunno if even ED does such horrible things like that.

I'm citing:

"This justice, however, is precisely the problem. People do not like to conform, certainly not to the standards of what they perceive as 'others'. Entering a new environment, an individual will immediately apply its own preconceptions of what is 'good' and 'bad', subconsciously judging it for whatever is visible past the lens of these hamsters. He kills the hamsters, all of them, and so it will catalyse conflict, and due to his tendency to deal primarily with unregistered users and other newcomers, ChiefjusticeDS is invariably connected these conflicts; he will be both the one to begin them and the one to end them, and so he is hated, deplored, despised. Deleting articles, reverting vandals and banning users, this administrator, more than any other, has already attracted the worst sort of retribution and disdain from those with whom he interacts.

And you know what? He fully deserves it. Fuck him, I say.

Fuck ChiefjusticeDS. He is a horrible, terrible administrator. He is also gay and he smells bad, and to top it all off, he killed my hamster.

He killed my hamster."

Another t'ing: all information given on that page is true. Truth is not to be accepted on Uncyclopedia, or is it?

Illogicopedia destroys the world

...according to the latest literary masterpiece by Uncyclopedian semi-legend Cajek. In it, Illogicopedia is portrayed as an evil scientist who, along with Jimbo Wales, travels to Switzerland in a bid for world destruction.

I will not give too much away, as I have already summed up a large part of the article. Read the whole thing and be amazed at the sheer Illogicopedia stereotypery, in-jokery and jolly time paradox japes.

And that's all I have to say, except that Uncle Pete smells like cheese. Childish banter for the win.

Uncle Pete and Illogia ~ a tale of two wikis

This week, the Illogic-Uncyc collaboration project took a step further with the creation of an Illogicopedia entry on the Uncyclopedia database by our very own MetalFLower. Remember, Uncle P is head hittable just like Illogic, so feel free to edit the entry to a higher standard of nonsense!

May I also take this opportunity to welcome new users from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia and just about anywhere on the web. The community are looking forward to your deconstructive edits.