Wednesday, 25 November 2015

The 30,000 spammers

I can only delete 100 spam comments at a time? Oh dear, looks like I'm gonna have to book a decade off work...

Fetch the extra large bag of Monster Munch!

Thursday, 2 July 2015

We beat Sherpa Image to press with this one

Users at Illogicopedia have recently been accused of snorting Aspercreme with Lidocaine during an after-party for an Australian Rules Power Jousting tournament. Lawyers for the survivors claim none of the entrants were warned of the unusually dense populations huge mutant creatures, due in part to the unusually harsh preceding winter.

Minister for Tabernakian Pyramid Schemes Sir Humphrey Loughton-Bailiwick, announced plans today for an International Croissant Consortium to be established for the preservation of baffling Newtonian groupers. Administrators and bureaucrats hastened to attach themselves to this whopper boondoggle, this exercise in jiggery-pokery, this affront to Nature herself, like lampreys to sharks, like lemons to sharts. Combined, once again, with hoisin sauce, a poultice was made from bedsheets and applied physically to Msr. Flute Charpentier.

Having been to seminary, the Earl new better faster than old less good, and thus his legacy was born. During his semi-cloistered life, many things were taught to him that were denied others. Ancient occult knowledge passed down from knee-jerk to palindrome, as wolves descend from the knee hills to work their murder on jack-booted nutria ranchers.

Lorenz was late this morning because gear wheels hit the bent steamer at 78 mph. To their credit, soldiers and bookies gathered at the docks, handing out posters of David Lee Roth, solar powered muskrats, inflatable Nazi paraphenalia and swamp gas sightings. Dougie had to go into town to get more litmus paper. Urged to float a loan for water sheds, the new VP for Skulking Anthony Plumbob "borrowed" from the pension fund and sat on a vibrating stump for three weeks.

In other News, plastic is the new black. Genies are flying out of Donald Trump's ass. Ax wielding mimes restormed the Bastille in an effort to push through national funding for  giant iguana breeding. Invisible Corsicans have secured the right to be insane during business hours. Rain gear has been outlawed in 66 members nations of the UN today in what's been perceived to be a move on coffee futures.

Saturday, 16 May 2015

No! Don't take that pill!

Professional apoplectic and union gooch bedazzler Warren Leaky-Blemish had decided to use the minions at his disposal to eradicate Illogicopedia. He has failed profoundly.

Binging on Red Lobster the night before had a deleterious effect on his plans to contract ADHD. Buckets of yoz.

Smell the torts! Sniff them well! For they may whiff of toothpaste laden with antifreeze.

Sylvia joined the Army, just like those assholes at her high school said she would. Languages were her gateway to bigger, better things. Farsi, Mandarin, Finnish, Mandinko... the list went on to the wee wee hours, when she had to pee a lot.

Often elephants would grow an extra set of tusks,  just to show how badassed they are. Once more, into the breach!

If you had iguana lips, your mom would still love you.

Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Illogicopedia closing

It is with a heavy heart that I must announce the closure of Illogicopedia. As you may be aware, our hosting is funded from donations, some of which came from Russia and due to recent upheavals in the global economy, that funding source has been cut off. Apparently the funds had been transferred through a Ukranian bank which has since been seized by the Putin regime. Anyway, it's too late to fix it at this point. We have already gone so long without paying that Roberto, our hosting provider, has stated that he will be unplugging the servers and deleting all our content sometime tomorrow even if we were to pay our bills.

Looking forward, discussions among the Illogicopedia community have yielded mixed results. A consensus seems to have emerged that the decline in participation in recent months and years was due to burnout on the concept of illogical silly content, and that the community should probably switch gears to actually help with bringing the world useful information instead. To this end, plans have been set in motion to launch a new site called Logicopedia. Registration for this exciting new opportunity will begin soon. Stay subscribed to the IllogiBlog for further updates!

-- Nerd42