Thursday 30 July 2009

Breaking News: Illogicopedia acquired by Dubai Group

Illogicopedia has been bought by wealthy investors the Dubai Group, owners of the copyrights to Happy Birthday, Mars and the island of Sark.

In the coming months, they shall be drafting in high profile Wikipedia users to lift Illogicopedia 'to the next level' and hope to be competing for the prestigious 'Wiki of the Year' prize by 2010.

Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia and a bunch of other more well-known wikis are quaking in their boots at the thought, and are said to be in talks with their administrators to secure their future at the wiki financially.

This has nothing to do with football.

In other news, a million people died in an unknown event. I am totally not making this up as I go along whilst waiting for Illogicopedia to go back online.

Monday 27 July 2009

Useless timewasting post ahoy!

ell well, it be me.

Or be it?

No actually, it be. Okay, I'm confused now. But anyway I'm back.
*cue dramatic music*

To celebrate this occasion let us sing "OMG" to the tune of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson (yeah, the dead one).

On second thought, let's not.

And now, as a part of randomly making fun of the way I set posts out, I am proud to present...


"Well then" said Jenkins.

And then they all died.

Uhhuh uhhuh, thankyou very much.

Friday 24 July 2009

Bigipedia, the new Wikipedia radio parody

Radio 4 are launching a new show entitled 'Bigipedia', which parodies the one and only Illogicopedia... er, I mean Wikipedia. It's not exactly an original concept, as anybody reading this blog will know, but probably still worth a listen. I haven't done so yet, but thanks to iPlayer I'll be able to when I get the time.

The first episode aired last night. If you're in the UK and can be bothered, give it a listen and tell us what you think. Be quick though, it's only available for seven days!

Some info on Bigipedia:
See the review at Retro Yakking here, because it turned into something of a mini-epic and doesn't really fit with the Illogiblog sensibility.

Thursday 16 July 2009

R.I.P. Any relevace news stories about the death of Michael Jackson once had (July 25th, 2009 - not long after)

We are gathered here today to celebrate the life and times of the relevance to press coverage pertaining to the demise of Michael Jackson.

The press saturation, or 'Media "McCoverage" Deadson' as we came to know him, lived among us only briefly, yet in that short time he brought us both great joy, and great bullshit.

Media was born on an otherwise unremarkable night, in the relatively unknown maternity ward of The beautiful baby weighed in at 8 lbs, and 5 bajillion hits. A remarkably loud baby it's crying quickly consumed the hospital, and soon after sky news.

To many reporters and journalists this was the baby their religion had long awaited for, the Messiah child that would lead them from desperately scraping together an existence reporting stories about the Pope's mega condom to the promised land where stories were plenty, and comparisons to Princess Diana flowed organically from Rupert Murdoch's golden throne. A paradise realm where papers would be given divine direction to report of Michael Jackson for many months to come.

Whether or not they're right, within hours of Media entering the world he was seized by greedy Murdoch-fearing journalists, and sacrified on the altars of repetition. Despite being a relatively risk-free procedure, with each reincarnation of the captive Media a little bit of relevance was lost.

But this was of no consequence to the journalists, the world had literally stopped moving, people had stopped being born and dying, to gaze at the quickly spreading Media clones. And for a while, say a week, it worked, the stories were interesting, and progressively more and more hermits were being culturally enlightened. This peaked on MJ's funeral when so popular was Media that his facebook friend's list literally exploded, fuelling obligatory "and in other news" segments for newsreaders everywhere.

But now Media was old news, he'd been around for almost a month, he had rickets and pneumonia was begniing to set in. But still the exploitation didn't stop. Reports of the big M's continued carcassing kept coming, the press's laziness ever increasing as the point of Media grew weaker and weaker. On the 10 of July, 2009 he was admitted to hospital, with heart problems.

Despite ever-increasing doses of unreality the poor little coverage couldn't shake off his ailment and all relevance it had died of a cardiac arrest later that afternoon, surrounded by it's family. The post mortem concluded parody was an underlying health factor.

The funeral's next Friday. Meet outside Tescos at 4, Mariah Carey won't be singing. Thank God.

House Band

We need a band. And I'm a hypocrite because I'm not willing to be in it. But oh sexing well. The reason I bring it up is because I want someone to perform "IllogiMusic:Wait, wut?"

Send me a talk page message if you're taking up this offer.


Wednesday 15 July 2009

Jacko is dead. Long live the King

So, apparently Michael Jackson is dead. Well, I have been living on the Moon for the last couple of weeks, so I was not aware of this...

Anyway, Illogiblog felt it ought to pay tribute to the Jackster, so we now present for your enjoyment a video of MJ's 'Beat It' with a selection of tastier lyrics. Chamone!

Saturday 11 July 2009

Credit Crunch 'killing off' free content media - Uncyclopedia a victim

Warning: rant (wow, two rant posts in a row!)

So we're in the depths of recession, supposedly. Not only has the price of milk skyrocketed, but free websites like Wikipedia and... some others are now seriously being harmed. But not Illogicopedia, so hurrah for that!

The problem everywhere else is money - websites need it to pay rising server costs, and as a result are going commercialism crazy. Nowhere is this more evident than Wikia, which has become absolutely obsessed with advertising in the past year or two. Without resorting to the New Monaco offensive -- though obviously it's almost impossible to ignore -- Wikia really has gone to pot in recent times.

Gone is the induction/trial period whereby a prospective wiki has to go through an acceptance process by the community - a process Illogicopedia worked so hard to fulfil all those months, nay, years ago.

Well, now Illogicopedia has departed Wikia I don't really care as much as I would have done, but at this moment in time, I seriously consider Editthis a miles better alternative to Wikia. Sure, it has been hosting ads since day one, but you know what? I can put up with them. Wikia's ads are fricking huge, intrusive and make it look as if someone smeared fudge all over your computer screen. Animated GIF and Flash fudge, at that.

What's more, there's a horrible feeling that the community isn't in control of their own site any more. If you get a Wikia wiki, it's essentially theirs to do what they like with - simply a tool to garner hits, traffic and, of course, the readies. Evidence of this can be seen in the recent turmoils of Uncyclopedia, screwed royally by Wikia, who really couldn't care less about writing or parody or anything like that.

Where's the old punk spirit gone from Uncyc? The sense of togetherness and 'we rule all' attitude? It's not there any more, is it? You can blame Wikia for this. Worst of all, Uncyclopedia is in danger of completely succumbing to the Wikia regime - it's only a matter of time before we see New Monaco at Uncyc.

Sorry that turned into a rant about Wikia. I really didn't mean for that to happen. Oh well.

Thursday 9 July 2009

Class system on wikis

Warning: rant.

If there's a class system in normal societies, then surely on an Internet society (like a wiki) there's one too. It looks something like this...

Upper class: Founder, 1st wave contributors

Middle class: 2nd wave contributors

Lower class: New users, or "noobs"

The question is: Is there social mobility?

We could actually conduct a sociological experiment on our own humble wiki.

Wednesday 8 July 2009

Inclusionism v. deletionism: an essay by the Telegraph

What Wikipedia would look like if on paper, broken down by qwghlm at Flickr.

Shane Richmond of the Telegraph has decided to address an age-old wiki issue: the battle between inclusionism and deletionism.

The article claims to be about a recently passed music journalist, and how deletionists don't want his page to be kept at Wikipedia. By normal standards this instance is not in the least newsworthy, yet for some reason every so often the mainstream media decide to report this stuff. Stuff that happens every day on Wikipedia.

Whatever, it's as good a reason as any to blast the deletionists. Blast them I say! :)
Deletionists are trapped with an outdated metaphor. They want to make a “quality encyclopaedia”. The notion of quality, like usefulness, is relative. Relevance is a much better measure.

The concept of an encyclopaedia comes from the print age. Limited space meant limited entries, so the notion of ‘notability’ helps when choosing what goes in. Limitations on how often a new edition could be printed meant that accuracy was all important. You don’t want your encyclopaedia to be filled with mistakes.

True, but paper-based encyclopedias took a select group of people years to write. Wikipedia has millions of editors so it's not always possible to police absolutely everything, not least verifiability.

In summary, you journalists should forget Wikipedia and concentrate on Illogicopedia.

(Not) An obvious waste of time

Hopefully by now you have read the title of this blog. Now, you don't really know what to think, do you? Is this blog going to be a waste of my time, or is it going to be the exact opposite? The answer, my Friend, lies in the next few paragraphs. If you wish to continue reading, go right ahead. If you would rather go jump off a bridge into a lake, I highly recommend that you don't; rather you should go pop some popcorn, sit down in your most comfortable chair, and prepare to read this blog.

So, let's get started. This blog has been titled "(Not) An obvious waste of time", which begs the question: Is this blog going to be important? Before we get to that answer, let's look at the indisputable facts. First off, you have chosen to read this far into the blog. In your mind you have seemed to have collected enough brain power to assume this article has some importance/value, or else you would not have read this far. This may lead us to answer the previous question, but that, my friend, would be moving several steps ahead. We have to look at all of the possible angles in this question, and there are many. Let's move on to the next: The content thus far has shown some importance (Or so you think). Now, the previous statement would convince anyone with an IQ lower than 152 that the blog itself serves some sort of importance, but would they be right? Just look back at the statements you have read thus far. Obvious fact, elegant speech (If I don't say so myself), and none other than constant ramblings persisting of the same ideas and concepts. Now, the continue talk of one simple subject may in fact lead you to believe that this blog is a little too focused, but is it really? The answer, my friend, is no; it is really more concerned of answering one simple question: Is this blog going to be important? And you may be thinking after all of the conversing that we should really reach a conclusion of the matter. However, there is more that needs to be said. Most of you are probably thinking something along the lines of "Why doesn't this bastard answer the question?" and I do not blame, mainly because I am asking myself the same. Why don't I stop? Why do I keep typing? I am doing this merely to blind you, to make you feel as though what you are reading serves a purpose. I am convincing you of a falsehood as you continue reading, and each word you read makes you one step closer to becoming brain-washed by my rather unorganized conspiracy. So, as you have asked before, Is this blog going to be important?, the answer is no.

That being stated, let us move on to the next element of which this blog is composed. This blog is trying to entice you to read even more than before, and evermore having you join the group of people who have become one of us. So, you may be thinking that I am writing this as an attempt to make you join a feeble conspiracy, but you would in fact be wrong. I am merely trying to improve your knowledge of why I really wrote this blog. This is not a conspiracy, it is a mere attempt to make you do something you do not want to. That last croup of words would convince the normal person that this is a conspiracy, but as a matter of fact that person is a lot less smart than me or you. That person has come into this place and stated a falsehood; and evil, evil falsehood that should never be mentioned again. The perosn who stated it should be removed, and we should all continue in this informational conversation

If you have read this far, I truly applaud you. Many would have stopped far before this, somewhere near the beginning. Reading this is a great accomplishment, but there is something else you should take into consideration: Imagine writing it. Oh yes, just when you thought this blog couldn't require any more thought, here comes the inevitable question of writing. Writing has a way of doing such things, such evil, menacing things. Yet, every day we use, rely on it, love. To me this makes no more sense than dollar bill printing machine. However, it remains as one of life's big questions that goes unanswered. Now back to the point.

At the beginning of this article, you were debating over yourself whether youu should keep reading, and whether this article would be a waste of time. It has finally come time to reveal these answers... after yet another paragrpah of debate. Now I'm not trying to displease you, in fact, I'm trying quite the opposite. I'm trying to improve your ratioal thinking abilities ina clever, entertaining way, but to many of you thick-minded people this may not be the best method to entertaain. However, in my opinion, this is the best way to get a person to enjoy themselves. You read novels, you get so deeply engaged... but what about blogs? have you ever tried with a mere blog? If you have not, you should attempt now, for this is no less than a golden opportunity to do so. Bond with this blog, enjoy it, and secretly try to take the mysteries of it out of it's back pocket when it's not looking. Yes, I'm am telling you to go further into the blog, further into your thought... but the real question is: What for? This is a good question one should ask themselves as they are reading this. Why do I continue to read? What is in it for me? Will the question ever get answered? And all of those questions, my friend, are about to be answered.

You have asked yourself: Is the blog a waste of time? And the answer is yes, it is a waste of time. I'm glad you read it all the way through.

Thursday 2 July 2009

The Illogicopedian Times - July 2, 09

Readmesoon has taken it upon himself to produce a brand new version of the Illogicopedian Times. It works just like the Uncyclo Times... in fact it's a blatant rip-off, but who cares? Whaddaya gonna do, sue me?

Just click the image below to view the first issue.

You can sign up to receive the latest issues of the IllogiTimes before everyone else here, or just check the Illogiblog for updates. Microsoft Paint rules!