12 Years of Illogicopedia

Forged in the Golden Age of Humour Wikis, Illogicopedia remains at the forefront of Internet nonsense some twelve years later.

Back in 2005, Wikipedia jettisoned its humorous content to the Uncyclopedia, a shameless parody of the original free encyclopedia.

This in turn spawned Illogicopedia, which was first established at Wikia Scratchpad in late 2006. And just as Uncyc was born out of content restriction, Illogicopedia heralded a new dawn in inclusionism with its generous acceptance policy.

So it remains to this day - deletion is reserved for the very worst offenders. Even spam is salvaged, re-grilled and served with chopped bananas in the after dinner 'Nose Collection'. 

While the aforementioned Golden Age passed some years ago, Illogicopedia powers ahead into a new era. An era free of drama and destructive vandalism. An era that will usher in hologram television, personal hover boards and the Ultimate Sandwich™.

Until they inevitably arrive, our newly-established Discord server will satiate our desire for conversation, providing the glue to keep Illogicopedia rolling through vandal attacks and server outages.

Aid Epoc Igolli! Acid Pile Igloo! Ideological Pi!

The Pickle

Since Illogicopedia is back up, and since it is July, I was wondering...

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO DO THE FOCKING PICKLE?

Because I was really hoping to submit something into it, and... well, it's an Illogicopedian tradition to have the writing contest known as the Illogic Pickle every July. So, yeah, are we going to do it or not?

This is Dan Brutón a.k.a. TheHappySpaceman signing off.

P.S.- Just to get back into the spirit of things, here's a mandatory pickle image:

One Month until Big Brrother 2012...

Spotlighting our beloved Silent Penguin or how to find your head with two hands and a flashlight

It's not every day an editor gets spitlighted by another editor, especially an iconoclast of the elk of Silent Penguin.  The Seppy and I were having a heated discussion about whether there is a difference between "nothing" and the number zero.

So, earlier that day, I had grabbed a ReCaptcha phrase (EWxceeed action) and stored it in the doggie poop box, for possible use as an article title. On the back left burner, I had a pot with EWxceeed action simmering on low, while arguing with Seppy about this crucial idea, upon which the very foundations of Illogimedia may or may not depend. 

All of the sudden...

14:13] <@SilentPenguin> data:undefined;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQEASABIAAD//gA7Q1JFQVRPUjogZ2QtanBlZyB2MS 4wICh1c2luZyBJSkcgSlBFRyB2 NjIpLCBxdWFsaXR5ID0gOTUK/9sAQwAFAwQEBAMFBAQE BQUFBgcMCAcHBwcPCwsJD BEPEhIRDxERExYcFxMUGhURERghGBodHR8f HxMXIiQiHiQcHh8e/9sAQwEFBQUHBgc OCAgOHhQRFB4eHh4eHh4eHh4eHh 4eHh4eHh4eHh4eHh4eHh4eHh4eHh4eHh4eHh4eHh4eHh4eH h4e/8AAEQgC0AIQAwEiAAIRAQMRAf/EAB8AAAEFAQEBAQEBAAA AAAAAAAABAgMEBQYHCAkKC//EALUQAAIBA wMCBAMFBQQEAAABfQECA

So, we wrote  EWxceeed action or the article that wrote itself.  Anything you may have missed here, you will get if you read it. 

The reason it was an article which wrote itself is that I had pasted a huge waste of seemingly random text into the article, and was about to save it, when the computer apparently saved it of it's own will.  Of course, my wife and I prostrated ourselves before the laptop, much to the surprise of our dog, Frunobulax.  Next, I added the part about the article writing itself to commemorate this act of Divine Providence, or something.  

Afterward, I noticed a warning on the top of the page about the size of the file I had just saved, and that some browsers may have trouble with it, and I surmised that somehow this was connected with the providential saving of the file.  Bubble burst, shoulders drooped, I shuffled off into the kitchen to get some ice cream.

This chicken (pictured) has zero heads. That is not the same as saying, "The chicken head is nothing". I win. 

Don't tell me what to do!

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I imagine some of our readers watch Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network, once in a while. It's a collection of "adult" cartoons played between the hours of 10:00pm and 6:00am Eastern Standard Time, catering to a variety of unusual personalities.

Anyway, there's this bump, a little clip that usually is placed between the end of a commercial and the beginning of a show, that has the world's most awful "musicians" ever, doing this song. I've clipped their song's refrain to use as title for this post, since I am getting sick of Illogicopedia telling me what to do.

A warning to Roberto: I've been training with Lance Armstrong.

Roberto has attacked our servers... again. (yawn)

It's that time of year again: the time when the good old hacker Roberto (or Roberta, or Oscar, or whatever the fnurdle he is called) goes out of his way to hack our servers. But this time, he's left more of a mark. Not a permanent scar, I hope, but definitely a mark.

As some of you may have noticed (No shit, Sherlock) the buttons on the top that usually say "Insane page," "Babbling," "Go insane," and "Past frenzies" have been changed to plain old boring "Page," "Discussion," "Edit," and "History." And nothing was spared, either. When I went to petaQ'a'pedia, the tab that usually says "ghItlh" now has been changed to the namespace "tlh." AAAAAAAAA!

So I wondered how Roberto has been taking care of himself financially. I looked it up online, and guess what? He's mentioned in a song.

I'm sure you've all heard of Lady Gaga. But did you know that, for some obscure reason, she mentions Roberto in her song "Alejandro"? Listen to the verses:

Don't call my name, don't call my name, Alejandro
I'm not your babe, I'm not your babe, Roberto

Don't you think that's kind of bizarre? Why would she say Roberto specifically?

Oh yeah, she also mentions cilantro.

Don't bother me, don't bother me, cilantro.

Eh...

We're famous!

The bible of mental disorders, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV), will list a new disorder in the next month's publication.  Illogicopedic Surreality Syndrome AKA Bull Goose Loony Syndrome, a condition brought on by prolonged exposure to Illogicopedia, will be defined as, "a condition whereby the patient experiences articles read at the Illogicopedia wiki web site as a substitute for the "real world". Some symptoms include atypical drooling, incessant reading of Illogicopedia articles, snorting coffee grounds and attempting to use the sphincter as a musical instrument (particularly in imitation of French Horn or mandolin).

Readers should be aware that they might even now be under the influence of Illogicopedicism, and headed down the corridor to a cell, where you get a special jacket and lots of jello.  I don't want to scare anybody, but I'm getting the hell out of the country before the really bad stuff starts.  Good night, and good luck.

Doctor Who saves Illogicopedia

Roberto, famed demon of the underwiki, has apparently been bested by all-time coolest dude Doctor Who. Yeah, the guy from BBC. I know, I said the same thing! it's an embarrassment, for sure. We Illogipedians came home from work and play today to find these service tags on our front doors.

Luckily, we avoided extermination by not being at home. This clue, however, brings us to the embarrassing part... we were saved by that cosmic weirdo Doctor Who, and now we're all looking a bit silly.

Illogicopedia article on Wikipedia successfuly restored

Wikipedia have finally reinstated their Illogicopedia article after deleting the article about us last year due to the wiki "Not being notable enough". I have been attempting to persuade numerous sysops on the wiki to reinstate the page for a while - and last week I got lucky. This could be a defining day in Illogian history - or not.

Now we are among the ranks of ED (oh god no), Wookiepedia (meh) and AID's in having our own article. Give you's selves a pat on the back, if that's your sort of thing.

Link is here.

Life on the Desert Island Pedia (Exam Time Blues)

What with exams (I presume) sapping all the life out the site, the admins have decided to relocate the servers to a small tropical island in the hope it'll help generate more edits.

The idea behind this is that inevitable shipwrecked castaways will wash up on the island, and with their box of Hungry Hungry Hippos soggy and useless from the crash they'll be forced to use the site as their one distraction from the approaching finality of death. Of course there is every chance they'll burn it down for fire.

..so until they do here's a few mint articles related to exams you can distract yourself with, taken straight from the fridge in the garage:

The Illogicopedia Exam of Stupidity

where better to start than here? An exam that pushes your guesswork to its limit, I literally have no idea what this is about. Suffice to say, you won't pass.

Exam Rules

An exam without rules is like a bus without the little gay signs that mean you have to give up your seat for old people - a lot more fun for everyone! Except old people, but they don't really take exams so we'll let this one slide.

Death

The result of bringing your calculator lid into an exam. Also an article dedicated to the formerly available subject of death, including a detailed stab at vaguely explaining how the exam worked.

16 and Pregnant

While not an exam related article, it does highlight the promising alternatives to the academic system.

If you have experienced any problems while reading this blog post consult your physician immediately. Side effects may include dizziness, headaches, itchy feet and delusions of grandeur. Brain medication is available for emergency cases, but only at extortionate prices, and only if your name is Hindleyite.

Illogicopedian Obsessions of the Decade

1. Cheese
2. Checking Recent Changes every thirty seconds
3. Epics. Overrated term of the decade?
4. Getting everyone on IRC at the same time
5. Gold stars (less so in the last couple of years)
6. Listing every single article you've ever created
7. The Duck Clan
   
8. Aping/copying/obsessing over Uncyclopedia/Encyclopedia Dramatica
9. Goats
10. Waiting for admins to judge Illogic Pickles
11. Fixing votes at VFF
12. New Monaco
13. Refreshing the old Proboards forum whilst waiting for Editthis Illogic to load
14. Taking the pee out of Wikia
15. Achieving admin status (status, what status?)
16. Bcbkye
    
17. Super Japan vs. Subbuteo
18. Hitler/Nazis (of course)
    
19. Getting as many features as possible
20. Illogicopedia:About
    

A year of independence: The Wikia debacle revisited

It's been one whole year since Illogicopedia moved from Wikia's servers, and it's verily shot by. Seems like only yesterday I was ranting my ass off at Wikia and their uncanny ability to cheese people off royally.

But for all that bad blood, I really don't think Wikia are that evil. The extreme views expressed within the pages of this weblog are all in good humour, you understand (or perhaps not: looks like we managed to fool one or two people with our Wikia-bashing along the way).

That's not to say I actually like Wikia: in fact, it's doubtful whether I ever did, even when Illogicopedia was with them. There's something about it that makes it all incompatible with everything Illogico, and by proxy I, stand for. Perhaps its the whole corporate image, or the fact it promotes profiting from volunteer spirit.

Yes, we were grateful when they took us on, but it was a means to an end. As has been mooted numerous times, it was always an idea for Illogicopedia to go it alone, so to speak, and moving to Wikia was simply a stepping stone.

It's still the ultimate goal for Illogicopedia to be self-funding, and maybe one day when I get a job that actually pays more than peanuts we may actually get to the point where we become the commercialised ones, with Illogico mugs and T-Shirts and the like. Oh, how the boot will be on the other foot then!

That's all in the future though. To mark Illogicopedia's first whole year of independence, I've posted a bit of an analysis over at one of those free-to-host places on the interwebs. It's a bit dry, but will hopefully bring to the attention of the general public the plight of small wikis such as ourselves. It's one of the bigger user-generated content sites, so who knows, maybe somebody from the mainstream media may read it.

Breaking News: Illogicopedia acquired by Dubai Group

Illogicopedia has been bought by wealthy investors the Dubai Group, owners of the copyrights to Happy Birthday, Mars and the island of Sark.

In the coming months, they shall be drafting in high profile Wikipedia users to lift Illogicopedia 'to the next level' and hope to be competing for the prestigious 'Wiki of the Year' prize by 2010.

Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia and a bunch of other more well-known wikis are quaking in their boots at the thought, and are said to be in talks with their administrators to secure their future at the wiki financially.

This has nothing to do with football.

In other news, a million people died in an unknown event. I am totally not making this up as I go along whilst waiting for Illogicopedia to go back online.

Illogicopedia.org status report 15th June 2009

Date: 15/6/09
Months active: 30
Users: approx 50 active, actual number over 100
Main page views: Since independence - 32,000
Articles: 5,700
Casualties: Too many to count
Cheese sandwiches made: Over nine thousand
Alexa Ranking: Top 600,000

Previous status report:

Date: 20/3/07
Months active: 2 and a half
Users: approx 35
Main page views: 3,500
Articles: 428
Casualties: 32
Cheese sandwiches made: Loads
Alexa Ranking: N/A

Wow, it's been more than two years since the last report. Meh.

Rember to water your fax machine or it will grow parmesan cheese.........

Yes, the above statement is "Stupid" or "retarded" as some of my classmates refer to it as. I say this line everyday, to a bunch of people at school. I act like a rerard, yes that is the proper pronunciation of that word, all day. People call me weird, stupid, idiot, retard, weirdo, and other stuff. I don't care. I really don't give a flying floobenargen about what they think. To them, my nonsense revolution is acting stupid.

But here, at Illogicopedia that can except the fact that you eat the bleeble sheep. That is what is so great about ?pedia. Some of my friends are like me, but they don't have internet access, or whatever or can't join our beloved website. Which stinks. I would like to thank you, the people of Illogicopedia, the nonsensical encyclopedia anyone can mess up, for the warmth and compassion (not really). But still, thank you all for embracing by brand of revolutionary nonsense, and be proud as you stand, chewing on your burping textbook.

Thank you, Raggle Fraggle King, aka Chewbacca RFK, aka RFK, aka Chewster, aka Conquistador Chewbacca Trombly, aka Justin.

The (Fear) Arousing Hallowe'en Fables!

Fear Arousing Halloween Fables

Hey, this is MrMetalFLower's first post on the ?blog after realising he hadn't posted before...

Anyway, yeah...

Following in the footsteps of the recently-finished "pickle awards" comes a hallowe'en edition, the (Fear) Arousing Hallowe'en Fables. The idea is that anyone who enters writes the best possible illogical "scary" story they can, and the judges decide who wins. The winner, along with runners-up and honourable mentions, gets a big place on the front page in a hallowe'en main page reskin.

So, what do we want? Well, unlike most of the competitions we've had, the biggest thing we're looking for is high quality articles. This means that we want the article to be well-thought-out, imaginative, in full prose and cohesive. To get this, the minimum word count for your article is 1,250 words, and to make it fair in case people feel inclined to make 10-yr-long epics that obviously win, the maximum is 2,500. Basically what we want is the coolest possible Hallowe'en stories to broadcast on teh interwebs.

The judges are all ready, so all we need is your articles. The competition opened on the 6th of September and closes on the 22nd of October, giving you plenty of time to write your best possible stories. Good luck!

Fear arousing Halloween Fables

Indie-logicopedia

It only seems like yesterday when we were welcoming our new Wikia Overlords, but now Illogicopedia is all set to go independent for the first time in its history. The New Monaco saga was the straw that broke the llama's back and key members of the Illogicopedia community have agreed that the site should go it alone, severing its 1-year long ties with Wikia.

New Monaco has been generally regarded as "not very good" amongst Illogicopedians: Asema refuses to edit until a move is complete, while Silent Penguin reckons a new home will bring him more fish. I mean, er, users.

We anticipate problems and hurdles in the coming month or so and it's going to be hectic. Of course going independent will mean custom skins and no more Google ads (oh yeah). Loading times should be increased and downtime decreased but, best of all, the community will be in charge of any major decisions taken.

As a result of the move we may (or may not) put the pickle judging back a while... we'll get back to you on that.

We'll bring you more news on the move as it happens but we anticipate that, in a week's time, the people of Illogicopedia will be free. To do what they want. Like cook socks in the microwave without Sannse nixing it at the last minute.

Aid Epoc Igolli, fellow Illogians.
Hindleyak

Your new look IllogiNews

IllogiNews has been revamped! In addition to adding your own news headlines as usual, users can now add brief summaries of their latest IllogiNews reports.

Check out classic articles, the latest headlines in all Illogicomedia projects and the news in pictures at the new look IllogiNews page.

As ever, Illogicomedia looks forward to hearing your opinions and have set up a forum topic for you to comment on this latest development.

Whoop de frickin' doo

Illogic's article count is now over 2,000. We would like to thank our contributors blah blah blah.

Next stop, Wikipedia... then, the world.

Raw corn.

Illogicopedia is not Wikipedia

Illogicopedia is not Wikipedia. That's the advice from the heckspurts.

Elsewhere, with the demise of BJAODN on Wikipedia, its wiki is now open.

The Illogicopedia is now 9 months old.That's older than my dog! It's also over 9,000 minutes.

Did you know...

...Illogicopedia is the 105th most popular Wikia wiki, with over 1600 pages?
...that that's more popular than the Danish Uncyclopedia, the Swedish Memory Alpha and Pirates?
...Illogicopedia has over 50 active users, including 6 admins?

Remember to spread the word of Illogicopedia on the web. Extra points if you get a mention on television! Also, don't forget the official ?pedia forum/website banners.