Server Problems Update

Date: Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:19:25 -0500
Subject: Re: missing user

> Hello Carl,
>
> two days ago the Oncyclopedia was down and now we're finding out, that
> there are articles missing, and a user: [[Gebruiker:Options]] doesn't
> exist anymore, along with all of his edits.
> Do you know what could have happened?
>
> greetings,
>
> D. G. Neree

There were hardware problems on Sunday the 24th; a disc drive was
replaced in one of the servers. All database info was recovered because
every edit is mirrored to a second server using database replication.
Many images uploaded between Jan 19-24 are known to be missing, but I
have no idea why an article, edit or user would be missing.

I've checked backups of the site from both Jan 2010 and Dec 2009 and
find no record of a [[gebruiker:option]] or options on Oncyclopedia.
This is strange?

Carl

The long and short of it is, hardware problems, the current MySQL problems may be related to this, it may not be. What I can safely tell you is that Oncyclopedia is also serving the same error message in lingo I don't speak.

All we can be sure of is carl probably has a lot on his plate. :P

This wiki has a problem

OMG OMG OMG

I was about to login to write up The Illogicopedian Zombie Plan only to find out IT'S TOO LATE!

They've already invaded Canada!!

"This wiki has a problem"

I'll say!

"Sorry! This site is experiencing technical difficulties."

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN

"Try waiting a few minutes and reloading."

The zombies will be here by then!!

"(Cannot contact the database server: Unknown database 'uncyc_commons' (roberto))"

domo arigato mr. roberto

"You can try searching via Google in the meantime."

An excellent idea!

"Note that their indexes of our content may be out of date."

Because we all know how important it is to keep up to date on the very latest nonsense!

Outdated nonsense is such a problem that it requires just such a warning, oh yes!

We should replace our site's main page with this permanently.

Or maybe just print "This wiki has a problem" in similarly large print on our main page

cause we sure do!! :)
um um umumum um what happen? someone set up us the bomb?

The OMG Scary Alien... Holy shit, what was I thinking?

It's been roughly a year and a half since.... you know. It. The OMG Scary Alien. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? IT SUCKS!!!! How can an article SO BAD have such an impact on the site. Not as a whole but c'mon, users who never voted on anything voted against it.

How for the longest time my sig consisted of two pictures of the guy. There's the Flub Nugget vs. The OMG Scary Alien and WHY? You know why? Because I only really read it like twice in the days after I wrote it. It really makes me realize how much I've matured in the last year and a half. I mean.... Really. I apologize for the article. I'm happy he dies at the end of the Flub Nugget vs. article.

--T4Cano'crap

The winter cleanout

We couldn't be bothered waiting months for spring to arrive so have decided upon launching an impromptu, long overdue cleanout of unneeded suckage.

You may have already noticed the article count dropping dramatically in the last couple of weeks, and that's because admins have not only been takin' out the trash as per usual, but devouring some Uncyclo-cruft as well.

Don't worry, we haven't gone all Uncyclopedia on yo' asses, it's just the lack of activity in the last few months has led to a whole load of leftover half-baked articles going all mouldy. For the sake of our sanity, these must be exterminated, lest we be overrun by rats or mutant turtles from the deepest, dankest sewers.

Anyways, along with all that crusty stuff some of the older, cackier articles may also bite the dust and all. I believe the Unicycles call it Forest Fire Week, we prefer to call it breakfast.

Continue the good work, y'all, and keep churnin' out those VFF-worthy articles.

-- Your friendly adminators

Life on the empty Illogic MoneyReel

Well, having just wasted all of my ThotMarket money on buying 2200 shares, I thought it'd be a good time to advertise the financial side of the wiki.

For the past 6 months, apart from a certain shareholder called 'BenBlade' buying into ILLOGIA too much every now and again, and a unknown new shareholder, nothing has happened. Even looking at the graphs on the page shows you that people have forgotten the real meaning of life - money (apparently).

So I'm urging you, If you haven't already to make an account there and restore the wiki to perfect financial health and put us on the ThotMarket "Gainers" list for eternity!

ThotMarket is a website which simulates the global stock market, using websites instead of companies. You do not need to know everything about business in real life, just know what money is. The site DOES NOT use real money, instead you gain credits from investing wisely, so you can invest even wiselier (if that's a word.) The site does not cost you a thing, so stop holding on to your wallet foo'.

The Actual Stats

In Hindleyite's recent T.O.T.W. post, he mentioned something about percents of vandals and blah blah blah. I actually went page by page combing through and got the actual statistic of what percent of users actually contributed something memorable to Illogicopedia. So without further ado, 80% of Illogicopedia's users have been vandals, advertisements or one-edit wonders.

You're welcome.


--T3

To those we have lost - Ze Adminators

Upon reading a certain section of the Illogicopedia Awards of the Decade thread over at the forum, Illogiblog got to thinking just what happened to some of Illogic's early prominent editors. As the years passed, these guys were just forgotten to the litter-filled boating pond of time... until now.

Asema

He isn't completely gone, but Asema's most prolific editing days are most probably passed. An instrumental part of Illogicopedia's very early days, he provided input for the prototype front page as well as scribbling out a bunch of articles to get the site off the ground in its first few months.

As one of the first administrators, Asema also played a big part in the fabled Proboards forum (believe me, it's never as good as you remember) at a time when it was widespread consensus that Illogicopedia would take over the world. Fast forward to 2010, and we can safely say that's definitely happened... well, almost.

And we have Asema, in part, to thank for it.

(The Divine) Fluffalizer

An Uncyclopedian 'convert', Fluffalizer hopped on over to the new Illogicopedia project and never really left. In fact, he can still be found stalking recent changes every now and then, surveying he colossus he helped create. That's Illogicopedia.

Course, in those days, he was known as 'The Divine Fluffalizer'. And let's face it: he more than deserves that title, which he presumably dropped out of fears he would seem egotistical. Remember the 'advanced' front page with awesome coding and that? Well, Fluffalizer tweaked that. The VFF engine? He implemented that, though it was originally from Uncyclopedia and proposed by Seppmeister.

It's not just for his technical prowess he is missed. His library (and yes, it literally is a library) of articles covers a variety of topics including Fish Grate Ung, carrots, chairs, mooses and vegetables.

Sadly Fluffy has other things to do these days. He's probably the only administrator with a shred of sanity for ditching this madhouse long ago... though, as I said, he can still be seen every now and then mucking about with the odd minor edit.

~ ~ ~ ~

Don't rule out a big, Elvis-style comeback from either of these individuals. If that happens, we'll be right there to report on it with typical sensationalism.

Illogicopedian Obsessions of the Decade

1. Cheese
2. Checking Recent Changes every thirty seconds
3. Epics. Overrated term of the decade?
4. Getting everyone on IRC at the same time
5. Gold stars (less so in the last couple of years)
6. Listing every single article you've ever created
7. The Duck Clan
   
8. Aping/copying/obsessing over Uncyclopedia/Encyclopedia Dramatica
9. Goats
10. Waiting for admins to judge Illogic Pickles
11. Fixing votes at VFF
12. New Monaco
13. Refreshing the old Proboards forum whilst waiting for Editthis Illogic to load
14. Taking the pee out of Wikia
15. Achieving admin status (status, what status?)
16. Bcbkye
    
17. Super Japan vs. Subbuteo
18. Hitler/Nazis (of course)
    
19. Getting as many features as possible
20. Illogicopedia:About