Wednesday 31 December 2008

People must want to KILL me sometimes.

Well, the title says it all.

Anyone that knows me in real life will agree, I bring a new meaning to "random". And "uber annoying".

This seems to be because of my obsession with all things extremely random. Every day, I have something new and completely logical to say. Not.

Every morning I emerge from my bedroom, looking really messed up (hey, I get tired like normal people you know) with something random to say. Sometimes it's something I made up, sometimes it's repeating something retarded I heard on Illogicopedia, sometimes it's strange news I saw on the BBC Worldwide news site at 4am that morning before I went to sleep.

Whatever way, I always have something stupid to say. Most of the time, it's a single word, such as bagel, bleh, heelloooo, neeeeeh or whatever. Random sentences, such as The bagel man is out to get you, are common too.

But it doesn't end with words. Sometimes I'll randomly come out from my room, doing something dumb, like the omelette man dance, walking into the wall and asking it to make me a sandwich, going up to one of our many pets and making weird faces in it's face, or replying to all questions with a stupid ?pedian word, such as flub nugget, eeble sonk, or anything like that.

To make a long story short, you don't want to know me in real life unless you are prepared to deal with the most idiotic, moronic, dumb, stupid and annoying person you'll ever hear, do NOT, by any means, attempt to approach me in any way, shape or form. The individuals (aka extremely tolerant friends) that do approach me are specially trained individuals who are taught to handle this kind of mentally unstable person.

Did I mention my voice is really annoying, whether I'm being random or not?

Saturday 27 December 2008


Well, hi.

It would seem I'm now an editor of this blog. Woooooo...

So, I will probably post random stuff at random times. Yeah.

If you have any complaints, please feel free to shove them up your eyeball.

Tuesday 23 December 2008


Hi, this is RFK. Well, me and Hindley have decided to make a favicon for this blog. I have made a design for it, and Hindleyite will put the code in the html. Here is the original size for the design and then the favicon size:



This is a rough draft, sorta. If it is accepted I will just leave it though.


Here is the new design:

2008: A Retrospective - Illogicopedian of the Month

In 2007, Illogicopedia administrator Testicles took it upon himself to bring some sort of quality and direction to the wiki. He continued this into the early part of 2008 with some suggestions to improve Illogicopedia in general. Not much of his suggestions would affect the wiki in a large way, but comments about Illogicopedia's user prize, Writer of the Month, would lead to a changing of the guard in the way the award was structured.

In a move to give greater prominence to the prize, it was rebranded Illogicopedian of the Month and users could now win the award more than once; HelloolleH would be the first person to do this in March 2008. Whilst some past winners have since been nominated, notably Testostereich in Yoon, for the monthly prize, no other user has yet to achieve this feat.

Serpeniver's contest was one of the closest for a while, with Some WHAT? triumphing by one measly vote. Rumblings over the voting system emerged as the "multiple votes for admins/Phantoms" rule was reinserted as a reminder for the Octodest competition with voters actively making use of this. However this seemed to highlight an archaic rule that needed to be changed, and subsequently it was - all users, regardless of rank, now had exactly one vote each.

A renewed vigour seemed to refresh IOTM voting until the year's end, with a string of competitive contests seeing a return for the good old fashioned Illogicopedian of the Month slug out, petering out in a tame December. What do you expect, though? It's Chrimbo.

Monday 22 December 2008

Featured website: Retro Yakking

Editor's note: Yes, this is one of my sites. So what? I thought it was about time I rolled out the old backup plan when featured websites were thin on the ground. Nonetheless...

Complaining is a secret pleasure of many people. Let's face it - we all love the odd grumble once every so often because it is cathartic to some degree. Never mind that now, though, because there are pies to be had!

Retro Yakking is a general humour blog based on the complaints of one man on a crusade to "spread the anti-love". It revolves around the culture of the complaint, but there's a bunch of other strange, bizarre and downright annoying weird stuff in there too. Verrrrry Illogicopedian in style and another brilliant vehicle to pimp ?pedia on the Internet. Chyeah.

Do you have a website you would like to be featured on the Illogiblog? Contact me and I'll gladly do a post for you.

2008: A Retrospective - Fun forum topics of 08!

Illogicopedia isn't just about the articles, you know. The forum topics are often more interesting than the featured articles, and the following topics are evidence of this...Most of these forum topics are actually still active: don't forget you can revisit these and add stuff at any point (unlike at Uncyclopedia, where you get banned for bringing up old topics).

Sunday 21 December 2008

2008: A Retrospective - Retro Week

For one week in January, Illogicopedia went back to its roots for a celebration of the wiki's first birthday. Retro week saw the reopening of the old Proboards forum and Editthis wiki as users were invited to contribute to both once more.

On the whole, the experiment was something of a success: a bunch of pages created at Editthis were so good they were ported to the main wiki whilst the rest went to create a super-article commemorating the grand day out.

The old forum was given a lick of mellow yellow paint and saw a few contributions from older users but was, according to Silent Penguin, largely a failure. However it was a cool experiment and brought back memories of a time when the community was everything, a time when the forum was more regularly contributed to than the wiki itself. Hard to think of it now, but in the early days of Illogicopedia most articles came out of discussions and general craziness in the Proboards forum. Remnants can be seen throughout the wiki forum, with 'Ask a silly question' continuing to thrive; it even garnered an Illogicopedia Classics post on this blog.

The subject of the old forum came into prominence twice more during 2008: once during passing conversation about how to revive the community spirit and again when one user, unaware of the old one, suggested we create a new forum external to the wiki.

Nowadays, the Editthis wiki has fallen into obscurity, languishing at the second-rate wikifarm. The Proboards forum is also inactive: both are currently locked with no plans to reopen them - that chapter in Illogicopedia's history is firmly closed.

Saturday 20 December 2008

Thoughts of the Week (Dec 20)

Hey hey, kids! It's the Illogiblog thoughts o't' week again, brought to you by Illogicopedia's very own moaning Northerner, the Yak. Let's see what Santy's got in store for you this Chrimbo week on th'blog.
  • The Christmas Rockin' Article Pursuit is taking off now, with at least four entries guaranteed. There's still time to enter - get your entries in before 12PM UST on 22nd December and you'll be in with a shout of making the coveted Christmas Day feature!
  • As you will have noticed from the previous post, the old Illogicopedia has been renamed Wackypedia. The whole case isn't completely closed yet but at least, for now, we can all get on with actually improving the Illogicopedia instead of bickering with Wikia dudes.
  • The front page has been tweaked a bit based on some improvements suggested by Ben. Looking a bit better now and it certainly helps differentiate between us and Wikia. Noodles!
  • Illogicopedia has now broken into the top 1.9 million sites on Alexa. Not massively significant, but news nonetheless.
  • Things were a bit barren a few days ago but it seems activity around recent changes has picked up once more as people have broken up for Christmas. You know what that means? More time for surfing ?pedia!
  • I just earned seven dollars fourteen cents this week for doing next to nothing. Yeah, I signed up to a paid blogging service, so there's now another blog on the net to spread Illogicopedia propaganda and improve its Google Rank! I urge you to do the same and do your bit for Illogic. AID EPOC IGOLLI! Also, watch out for a featured website post whoring for my newest propaganda tool. Minted.
Phew. So that's what's happening around the Illogicopedian house this festive period. Altogether now: "Christmas my arse!"

2008: A Retrospective

Greetings from Illogic HQ!

Over the coming weeks the Illogiblog shall be taking an affectionate look back at the events of 2008. It's been a fun year, with Illogicopedia reaching a higher audience share than ever and the article count topping 5,000 and we're all a lot more insane for it.

Work on the retrospective began in Octodest as one whole document (yes, this is two months in the making) and is ready for publication here at the Illogiblog. At the end, we'll consider whacking it all into a Word document or something so you can print it out and sell it to homeless people. Keep checking back for more posts, which will include a look back at topics such as the best forum posts, collaborative projects and major events which shook Illogicopedia to the core.

Stay chooned, and in the meantime enjoy your Christmas.

Friday 19 December 2008

Wikia renames old site as "Wackypedia"

Well, that should solve that then. Enough bashing Wikia, OK? Let's move on. :)

Monday 15 December 2008

Enter the Annual CRAP competition!

Ever wanted to get your article on the front page?
Yep, and I already did that ages ago. ~ Smart Alec
Shut up, you. This is your chance to have your very own featured article over the hectic Christmas period, when literally tens of people flood to the Illogicopedia because they have nothing better to do.

It's m-m-magical! ~ Mr Hankey
Enter the Christmas Rockin' Article Pursuit today, because there's only a week left to perfect your article into a finely tuned Santa's Grotto of fun-filled festive frivolity. Go on, get in the Christmas spirit!

Thursday 11 December 2008

Web outlook - Vol.1

Welcome to the first issue of web outlook! This is a new weekly post (since I don't have one) which is about things outside the beautiful gates of Illogia. I will scout the web with a small torch and a shovel to find the latest web-related newz.
  1. 5 major British broadband companies (including Virgin Media, Sky and talktalk) made internet history when they blocked access to a Wikipedia page. The Internet Watch Foundation added the page to its blacklist due to naked young girl on the article Virgin Killer.
  2. The social networking site Bebo has changed its profile homepage to a 'social inbox', which includes twitter, gmail, ymail and flickr. Most users dislike he change, dubbing it as 'ugly' and 'done on Paint'. Personally I don't like it either.
  3. Google is putting its web browser chrome out of beta mode after only 100 days. Usually companies will hold on to the beta tag for as long as their grubby hands can untill they slip.
  4. Sony have been sued $100,000 (£665,476) by the U.S government for letting people under 13 sign up for their online music service.

Visit the blog Thursday next week for your next update of what's going on around de web!

R.I.P WOOLWORTHS 1909-2008

Wednesday 10 December 2008

Thoughts of the Week (Dec 10)

Another mad, mad week with lots going on. But first, an update on last week's thoughts...

The Browse page is now expandified to include some mint formatting I nicked from Wikipedia (good old Uncle W). See this post for more info on that. Elsewhere, the Userbase Extending Faction now includes a bunch more links for people to click, and Anorak's Corner IllogiMeta has been launched. Check 'em out if you feel so inclined, but beware of hostile fnurdles.

The headlines this week... (dun dun dun, Big Ben bongs)
  • Wikia seems ready to negotiate. KyleH has been strangely absent of late but came back a couple of days ago with a compromise that some users have already expressed their satisfaction with. Please, get your butt down there and chip into the discussion!
  • Illogicopedia hits the magical two million mark at Alexa... well, we need something to cling onto in these cold winter months. Yes, Illogicopedia's World Domination is at hand... Mwhahahaah.
  • The Article Improvement Drive (Oh no, not that again...) is bubbling like a jacuzzi on the lowest setting at the moment. Some articles have been cleaned out, whilst the ongoing process of tagging forges ahead. Oh yeah, if I ever delete an article in error, don't be afraid to tell me about it. Call it Uncle Pete syndrome, but often your mouse pointer hovers over that deletion button....
  • Aaaand a nice, pleasant note on which to finish. Some of the guys at the Christmas Specials Wikia have compiled their top ten best and worst Christmas special television shows of all time. Worth a look, even if there's not a single British programme on there...
Once again, I bid you farewell and hope you aren't too disconcerted with the politics flying around Illogicopedia at the moment. See you soon, and stay sober drunk.


That's right. A year ago I made my first edit , on my own user page! I've seen a LOT happen in my time, from vandals to wikia-war. Thanks to all the editors who have helped me and stood by me, and to those who haven't :). Its been enjoyable being part of the community and now I feel im a proper part of the wiki (if thats okay).

Its still amazes me how slow its gone!

Guess who's back (back). Back again (gain). T3's back (back). Tell a friend.

Yeah. I'm back. How was the site without me. Probly better.... Nevermind that.. You may want to know what I've been caught up in to stop me from going on Illogicopedia.

Well I kinda got obsessed making video game videos with my capture card I got about two months ago. Here are two of them:
Watch 'em. Rate 'em. Favorite 'em, Ya know.

Tuesday 9 December 2008

Illogi Classics - #20, Ung! Goat

Yet another entry to the Illogicopedia articles (Toilet) Roll of Honour.

A strange one, in more ways than one. To start, who'd have thought such a repetitive, contentless article would make it to the ranks of Illogicopedian Classic? Well, it's not so much for its quality that this article is featured here, more for its backstory.

Ung! Goat started life on the Uncyclopedia where it was created by a certain metal person. It was quickly deleted, but spotted by an administrator of a recently formed and particularly nonsensical encyclopedia, which was on the lookout for new editors. Upon suggestion of the Illogicopedia to the author, the article was recreated there, where it has stayed to this day. The rest, so they say, is history: the creator in question has become one of the site's most esteemed contributors alongside such greats as Francis E Dec and Andre Breton, earning administrator status in record time. Well, it was quicker than a penguin attempting to open a fridge anyway.

But what about the article, Yak? Well, it may not be the best ever (in fact chances are it would be deleted/Mexicanised today), but it certainly has a place in Illogicopedia's history as one of its earliest, and craziest pages.

Then there's the question of what the hell's going on. Need we ask? The general nonsensical humour stems from the fact nobody has a clue what's going on. The writer was probably high on something at the time, so it's unlikely we will ever find out...

Wikipedia and censorship

Warning: A serious post follows! Also, reader discretion is advised when searching for web info on this topic.

If you live in the UK, there's a chance your IP is currently blocked from editing on Wikipedia because the Internet Watch Foundation have blacklisted the site. Why? Well, the issue stems from an image used in an article about Virgin Killer, an album by 70s Rock Band The Scorpions, which supposedly depicts child pornography on the album cover.
As with all child sexual abuse reports received by our Hotline analysts, the image was assessed according to the UK Sentencing Guidelines Council (page 109). The content was considered to be a potentially illegal indecent image of a child under the age of 18, but hosted outside the UK. -- IWF Statement
As a result, the page in question cannot be viewed on UK browsers. Wikimedia have protested that other sites such as (Warning: may not be SFW >>) Amazon continued to host the picture (though the cover now seems to have been replaced with an alternative, non-offensive version) and it can easily be accessed via Google Images without the application of Safesearch. Wikimedia go on to claim that they "have no reason to believe the article, or the image contained in the article, has been held to be illegal in any jurisdiction anywhere in the world".

The POV bit!

Wikimedia stands by its 'Wikipedia is not censored' stance, and I for one agree with them. What will the nanny state think of next? We won't be able to view the article about Middlesex? Well, that was a bit of an over the top reaction, but if Wikipedia give in to the censors now, who knows what they'll have to concede in the future.
Of what use is that repellent picture? -- "A caring mother", from Wikipedia Talk:Virgin Killer
To any concerned parents: I suggest that you take on board the fact that Wikipedia is not censored before letting your child use the site. Yeah, the pic was a bit repulsive but it was an actual album cover and is therefore encyclopedic, if you see what I mean. The fact that it caused controversy when it was first released makes it all the more notable and important that the image be used in the article. Wikipedia could take the picture down but it would border on breaking their own code of ethics, so argue all you like but there'd have to be some major policy changes for Wikipedia to give in to this one.

My guess is that this will blow over pretty quickly and we will have forgotten all about it by the New Year. Fact is, IWF received a complaint and they have to be seen to be acting upon it: meantime, Wikipedia get a bit of free publicity. So, despite the fact our friends at The Free Encyclopedia lose some editors for a while, they at least get a bit of promotion, gratis. :)

Web links, all SFW

Monday 8 December 2008

Sunday 7 December 2008

Aw no, not another one of those statistics posts

Indeed, time for a report on the Feedjit statistics for the past couple of weeks. It seems the Illogiblog's more popular than ever, with visitors from countries as far afield as the Phillipines, Puerto Rico, Panama, Italy and Hungary hitting Check out the visitor map for North America:

Illogiblog is now in the top four million sites on the web according to Alexa traffic stats. It is also getting around twenty hits a day now (sometimes more), with people finding the site from Google Search, Illogicopedia and Uncyclopedia. Well, that isn't a large variety of links, but it's a start...

For Illogiblog to increase its rank further, it would have to have more visitors referred from various other sites in the top ten such as Facebook, MySpace etc. In this regard, fares slightly better, ranking at just over 2.1 million - certainly a bit of a jump from the last update, when it ranked in at around six million. Whoa!

Site-Wide Improvement Drive™

Part of the second Article Improvement Drive is the campaign to prettify some of Illogicopedia's more prominent pages, including those linked to from the front page and the sidebar. It is planned that this will give us more of an identity and further separate us from the old wiki - hopefully we left all the "childish and juvenile" connotations behind when we left W*kia.

Well, the Site-Wide Improvement Drive™ is underway. I completed a new version of the Browse page but some of the categories still need streamlining - this will be done in due course. Probably. By the way, I pinched and tweaked the design from Wikipedia's Topics Index... you might have guessed by now that that's the best way to create 'new' designs. The Community Portal (pictured) has been given a lick of paint, too... how blue.

Next up are the Featured Articles Portal and maybe the Help section. If anybody wants to give it a go, please do - make a rough version in your userspace and we'll probably be able to settle on something. Ultimately, it is hoped the front page will also be completely revamped, though it's difficult to settle on something definite.

Illogiblog General Disclaimer

Please note that the views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not represent the views of the Illogicopedia group or the ?pedia Weblog as a whole.

All text is licensed under the Creative Commons Sharealike License unless otherwise stated.

Apart from that, go nuts.

Wednesday 3 December 2008

Thoughts of the week (Dec 3)

December already! Before we know it, Christmas will be upon us and insantaty will have well and truly set in.

It's nice to see people are settling into our new home, activity seems to be quite high again, the average over the last week or so being over 150 edits per day. Once again there's lots going on this week, with I'll Ask the Questions Here seeing a revival and the return to glorious form of a number of our most esteemed writers. I expect VFF to be teeming with quality pretty soon...
  • The Community Portal has been expanded a bit to include some of the newer projects and a picture of some elephants (?!) to make things look a bit nicer.
  • A while back someone attempted to create an 'Illogicopediapedia', a wiki about the wiki: a novel idea, but flawed in the sense nobody would ever visit it. There's nothing to stop something similar happening at the Illogicopedia though and it might be nice to see some of the 'anorak' articles grouped together in some sort of meta project.
  • Can't remember if I mentioned this in a previous post, but I think the Userbase Extending Faction should be revitalised. I've stuck a few links on there, and it might be worth keeping people updated on latest 'outside the community' projects via the Illogiblog.
  • I've started a new Digg link for Illogicopedia, since the previous one linked to the old site. If you have a Digg account, why not take a look? From time to time I also post links to a few Illogiblog entries, such as this one, so keep an eye out for them in the future.
  • The New User Log seems to indicate we're getting a steady trickle of new/old users. Glad to see people are finding the site, even if they are rediscovering us after the move.
I have more thoughts, but I'll probably dedicate a whole blog post to them at a later date. For now, though, I have to go and buy some Christmas presents otherwise some people will be very cheesed off.

Monday 1 December 2008

The BJAODN never ends

You may remember I mentioned, where deleted Wikipedia howlers live on, in a recent post. Well, I'm pleased to say they back our campaign to spread the word about Wikia. A massive shout out to the guys guy over there - cheers!

And while we're on it, let's have a bit more BJOADN, shall we? Why the hell not. Remember, these are reproduced verbatim under the GFDL license, so watch out or the GNU will get you.
  • RoboCop is programmed to follow four prime directives; serve the public trust; protect the innocent; uphold the law; get his freak on. ''It's true! I saw him on the Citroen adverts!''
  • Ha ha ha is a phrase used by individuals of Uberhuman origin. It has innumerable different uses, each of which expresses a complex of interwoven nuances, and is therefore often found to be difficult to comprehend by the Weaker Ones. One of the rather simplistic interpretations offered by acclaimed Uberhuman scientist Aybabtu Ownage translates it as: "If you are reading this then you just got owned."
  • Volkswagen is a type of car built in Germany. Hitler drove Volkswagens. That is all.
  • In 2025 the penguin invasion will beguin its conquest over the known world. The invasion will last about 38 days. Almost all of the human population will die out only about 13% of the origional population will survive. The remaining humans will be in scattered military bases around Russia. The origional start of the campain is 2018 when Germany (out of fear)sends the penguins
  • This deleted article.
  • There are no non-flammable monkeys. All monkeys are flammable in some way shape or form. If you cannot get a monkey on fire, you are not trying hard enough.
Finally, all this BJAODNing has made me think - what would be Illogicopedia's equivalent? "Good jokes and other deleted non-nonsense"? Might be worth trawling the deletion log for... keep your eyes and bananas peeled.

Complaint Wiki

A little bird told me that some people are getting a bit cheesed off with Wikia. OK, it wasn't a little bird and more like everybody who I've been talking to for the last three weeks. It's my personal opinion that Wikia's essential aims are noble but hugely clouded by advertisers and the need to please them. For this reason, I think people should have access to information which will help them decide whether Wikia really is right for them.

Complaints wiki does a good job in this sense: it's an archive of discussions relating to the Wikia situation with links to press articles and specialised sections for each wiki that has moved from Wikia. It must be noted that, although it is a wiki, it's more for reading than contributing to: feel free to leave your opinions in the comments section of this post.

Do Wikia care about us? I suspect not. However, read the complaints wiki and make up your own minds. Of course, we wouldn't want to influence your opinion in any way, would we? The Illogiblog does not wish to incriminate itself any further for 'forcing its views upon people'. So, forget you even read this post and I'll personally post some treacle toffee to your house.

Saturday 29 November 2008

Its the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)

Apocopedia is having somewhat of a revival. The format of writing about any given situation that will end in the destruction of the world (or worse mankind) Is pretty cool and as global warming hots up we need to ask ourselves as human beings, will the constant networking of our civilization eventually lead to our demise?

In other words, as our society is more interlinked than ever, with the Internet and other communication systems then ain't we more vulnerable? Not just to hackers but... er. Anyway. If you'd watched the opening bits of Threads then you'd understand.

I want Apocopedia to portray potential catastrophes in the most realistic way possible. Even if you are about to write a zombie apocalypse then you need to asses how countries would react.
Crap, this IS a rant.

Friday 28 November 2008

Another essay on Wikia

I was lying when I said I gave you my final word on Wikia. The actual likelihood is that the closure saga might run on for longer than was originally expected, especially since the Wikia representatives have been rather quiet on 'their' Illogicopedia site recently.

Still, I've been immersing myself in past Wikia discussions in order to form a more informed opinion on the situation with Wikia as a whole. They do have their numerous vociferous critics but I am tempted to feel sorry for Wikia and the fact they are under constant pressure to pander to advertisers' wishes. After all, they are the middle men that have little real say in the big decisions - their financial situation dictates what goes on at the site, in essence. A pity, because the idea of a collective pool of knowledge that anyone can access and cite freely is an idea that even Henri de Saint-Simon would be proud of, and for all Wikipedia's well-publicised problems with accuracy of entries, for a free resource it's better than a kick in the teeth.

But the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, especially where big business is concerned. It is all too easy to take the view that each and every one of Wikia's actions are governed by their advertisers, but at some point along the line they must concede that their soul is slowly ebbing away with the inevitable community departures. It could be argued that [weasel words] it's time for Wikia to admit defeat - the list of disgruntled 'customers' (if you could call them that) grows by the day is only going to get larger as long as the advertisers have their way. And would the world be a worse-off place without the Family Guy Wikia? Or the Cheese Wikia? I'd guess for most people the answer would be 'no', after all, where these sites are concerned Wikia is just acting as a glorified web host, surely?

I disagree. It's my personal opinion that the wiki is an excellent invention, a wonderful tool for communities to collect their knowledge together in one place quickly and easily. And so what if there are adverts? Not everybody can afford their own private, ad-free webhosts. So, I say the following.
If you aren't too concerned about site design and having to give up ad space at the expense of information; if you aren't concerned about dealing with corporate representatives and their stock responses to queries, then go ahead, Wikia will be an excellent choice. Be warned, though, for invariably big business is a large, capitalist farmer willing to milk you for all you're worth and whose decision making essentially seeks to benefit themself.
I still maintain that, in Illogicopedia's case, Wikia could have been more trusting and respectful of the community. The backlash is likely to be a drawn-out one, and though things are likely to be resolved quicker than the Spanking Art (this link SFW, the wiki itself may not be) situation, the whole New Monaco/Advertising dispute can't have escaped the attention of the wider press. You must have gathered by now that this thing is much bigger than the Illogicopedia.

I bid you good day, and a happy Thanksgiving season if you're in North America.

Wednesday 26 November 2008

How do you fend off a bear in a lake?

Well, I would choose a long pointy implement and a rather large boat, preferably a cruise liner or something. Alternatively, you could follow the instructions outlined in WikiHowl's article and hope the bear somehow dies from exhaustion or something.

Warning: you're gonna need a magical conch shell, which can be obtained at your local newsagent with your rental copy of Das Pussyvator.
If possible, get to land before fighting the bear. You will have increased mobility and it will be easier to land a jumping punch to the bear's maw. Maw punches will end the fight quickly as you will shame the bear into giving up.
For the WikiHowl fans among you, you might be sad to know that the site failed to win an award recently. Don't despair, though, as WikiHowl was the subject of a discussion on Kerrang! Radio a month or so ago, and will be hitting back with even more chuckleworthy Wikihow fodder in the near future. For those of you who haven't already, bookmark WikiHowl now.

The bear image is by Communi core at Wikimedia Commons.

Thoughts of the week (25 Nov)

It's time once again for some biased babblings with the Thoughts of the Week. Loads of shizmondo kicking around this week, and it's been Illogicopedia's most hectic time since, well, ever. For your delectation, a deliciously drama-free selection of musings for this week, Yak style.
  • Article Improvement Drive 2 is not far from being finalised for public consumption. This time round there's a difference: users can earn titles for their signature via The Sporadical Radicals achievement system. In addition, site wide changes are expected to be implemented, starting with some of the user portals which haven't been updated for bloomin' ages.
  • Website of the week: Forklifts Unlimited. Aside from the brilliant name, it's really created in the same spirit of Illogicopedia with the ramblings of lunatics and, well, you should just check it out. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, it's maintained by one of our users - THETHINKER, proving you can never think too much. And from what I can gather it has little to do with forklifts.
  • I've proposed a new policy with regards to the use of gibberish. It's kind of been an unofficial thing since the birth of the ?pedia but I thought it was time to try and make it official. Well, I say official: none of our policies are really set in stone and are more guidelines for wiki usage. Still, gibberish is not what Illogicopedia is about - encouraging development of literary styles, on the other hand, is.
  • There's a new Illogimail, the first one in ages, addressed to the BBC. Might be worth watching this one: Auntie Beeb have a programme called 'Points of View' that regularly screen such emails complete with stupid/smarmy/cynically-tinged voice over.
  • Ellasint is taking over Big Brrother 2009. Just thought you would like to know: I'll certainly be keeping an eye on things. Last year's competition was fun and I'm looking forward to more of the same next season. Please message Ellasint with any questions regarding Big Brrother.
The image of the forklifts from Wikimedia Commons and was by Mdornseif. I leave you with this parting thought:
If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests?
Good evening.

Tuesday 25 November 2008

"Oooooo Fender Bender!"

Hi its me, Ragglefraggleking. So here is some kind of RFK NEWS.

  • Everything seems fine after the vandal attack.
  • I see a new feature thing has been added to the blog, where it shows traffic. It says I am from Moorers. This is incorrect. I live near Moorers, but I actually live outside the town of Chazy.
  • There is a discussion about the old wiki. I like Anotherpongo's idea, mass vandalism. I also like the idea of shutting the old wiki down.
  • And that's about it. Cya Round!

The fate of the old wiki

Warning: this post contains links to W*kia websites

A discussion is currently taking place over at the old W*kia Illogicopedia as to what you think should happen to it. We urge you to have your say on this matter because, as you can imagine, it's pretty important. Well, I stopped eating my Micro Pizza just to edit it anyway.

So, stick your two-penneth worth in there and we'll hopefully be able to strike some sort of amicable deal with our former Overlords.

To the Ratmobile! I mean, er, the forum topic.

In slightly related news, Uncyclopedia are in continued negotiation with W*kia as to what they're gonna do about the domain name situation. It's all top secret behind the scenes stuff at the moment, but a progress update is imminent.

Stay tuned, because I think QI is starting in a minute.

Friday 21 November 2008

BJAODN - Buh - jow - dun?

You might be asking what the heck BJAODN is. Well, it's short for Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, and if you've ever visited Wikipedia you've no doubt stumbled across it. It's pronounced 'buh-jow-dun' (probably) and stands for 'the funny bits' of the Free Encyclopedia. A crucial part of Wikipedia's history, it logs those 'less than serious' contributions that have since been deleted or reverted in one pocket sized page.

In recent times, the BJAODN has been all but banished from the Wikipedia kingdom as they attempt to discourage 'vandals' and 'miscreants' from adding stuff like "A easy way to test for color blindness is to stick ur finger up ur nose and hold ur leg up while singing the national anthem." Some archive pages still remain, but the landscape has been devastated and with the demise of the Buhjowdon, part of Wikipedia's soul descends to Hell via a very public toilet.
"I like to find out that I died, and that I'm currently in a ballet in China, and all the other very accurate and important things that the Wikipedia site brings us all." -- Stephen Fry on Wikipedia
I know some Wikipedians are becoming increasingly cheesed off by the site's image. Whenever Wikipedia is mentioned on a television programme it is usually followed by some mildly humorous statement such as "I visited Wikipedia and it said the Eiffel Tower was in Basingstoke". I personally love it when I come across these kinds of edits (not that I would condone vandalism) but the powers that be are employed(?!) to root out any traces of humour Wiki-wide (hence the unofficial 'Fun Police').

But do not despair, nonsense lovers! BJAODN is not dead, it has just moved house. Of course we all know about Illogicopedia, Uncyclopedia and even Wikihowl, but it seems the coverage of Wikipedia BJAODN is more comprehensive than ever. My personal favourite right now is Deletionpedia, a huge archive of some of the best stuff deleted from the Wikipedia database. Wikidumper, meanwhile, organises deleted content in blog form. A BJAODN archive website can also be found here, and provides hours of mirth for those of you with an open mind and a mischievous side.

Let's round this off with a good old fashioned BJAODN fest, shall we? All text reproduced verbatim, cos it's funnier that way.
  • Buying chocolate can be difficult at certian time sof the year, but should be easy enough if you are feeling chocolatey. Please take note that buying chocoalte can be very dangerous and if you buy too much, illegal under THE CONSUMPTION OF CHOCOLATE (United Kingdom) ACT 2002.
  • Did you ever meet Satan? (Question to Jimbo Wales)
  • No, but I think we're supposed to be on a panel discussion in Amsterdam in May. (Answer to the above)
  • A common misconception about light bulbs is that they emit light, when, in fact, they absorb darkness.
  • List of things faster than a dog - cars, dogs riding in cars, race cars.
May the first and last ones go down as classics in BJAODNian lore.

Thursday 20 November 2008

Top five million!

The Illogiblog is, in fact, one of the top five million most visited websites on the Internet right now. That is, according to Alexa Traffic Rankings, where it seems the blog has jumped nearly three million places in the last three months. This is all down to you, the Illogiblog readers, so I extend a hearty thanks to every single one of you. Next stop, number one (million).

Incidentally, itself is actually in the top six million but I expect it to overtake the blog in terms of traffic rank very soon.

Illogiblog visitors map as of 20/11/08

Recently you may have noticed I've stuck a traffic stats bar which tracks visitors on the left hand side there. You can opt out of it if you like by selecting 'options' - I urge you not to, though, because it provides some useful information about exactly who's visiting the blog. The above map gives an indication of traffic in the last week, but I reckon it'll start filling up given time.

Wednesday 19 November 2008

Wikia sucks... or does it? The Final Word... maybe.

Warning: this post is longer than the Brazilian national anthem sung by Mariah Carey on Mogadon.
"Wikia is capitalism dressed up as socialism" -- Andrew Keen
The dust has yet to fully settle on the Illogicopedia independence movement but for all the comments made in anger recently, I thought it was about time I gave my honest opinion on they that are known as Wikia. Most of this stuff I have already stated at some point or another in the last month, and you may well disagree with a lot of it but I've been involved indirectly with Wikia for a long, long while and this is my opinion on the matter.

You probably know my position on the 'keep a dead wiki open for as long as possible' situation. At the time of writing, this has yet to happen to Illogic, but the precedent is there (and benefit of the doubt can only last for so long) - the Transformers wiki now has two versions, one at Wikia, one independent.

Common courtesy says delete the old wiki and/or create a hard redirect to the new one in respect of the departing community. But since when was big business about common courtesy? Wikia is a for-profit organisation and naturally needs the cash to survive and flourish, so it is in their own interest to keep their wiki open: and let's face it, they are well within their rights. The cynical might say the reason for their actions is to run in direct competition to the independent wiki, hogging Google rank and milking the content for every penny it's worth.

Now, New Monaco might have been forgiveable if it weren't for the perceived selfishness of the aforementioned. Don't get me wrong, Wikia are committed to creating new wikis and thus expanding their knowledge bases for specialist subjects. A noble quest indeed, but again the whole situation comes down to money. In this sense I feel sorry for Wikia and those who created the project - their primary goal is being hugely clouded by their need to constantly please the advertisers.

Hence New Monaco. Hence keeping dead wikis open. Hence moving the Uncyclopedia domain name to Wikia servers. The community at large disagree with these decisions but remember: money + money = money. Money!

Personally, I am glad we jumped ship at the point we did. The Wikia service has, on the whole, been top-notch: downtime has been rare. I could live with New Monaco. I could live with the stupid advertisements (and we did for nineteen months) and the feeling of patronism involved with being 'babysat'.

What changed my mind was the community's increasing disgruntledness and disillusionment with our Great Overlords. One of our most respected editors refused to contribute any longer until we ditched Wikia, and yet others threatened to leave Illogicopedia forever. I know the situation is very similar at Uncyclopedia, too.

The co-founders have slightly differing opinions on the matter. Nerd thinks that, whilst on balance Wikia have been a good server, the time has come to move on. Sepp reckons Wikia never wanted us in the first place, evidenced by their reluctance to accept Illogicopedia into their community.

I agree in part with both but I suppose business will be business - harsh, cruel and relentlessly capitalist in its nature. This doesn't really mix with Illogicopedia's laid back ethics, so the time was right. For dancing in the streets. Which I shall now go and do, even though it's chucking it down and there's a strange man in a mackintosh.

Phew, a politics post. I need a lie down after that... don't worry, the light relief will return sooner rather than potater.

Tuesday 18 November 2008

Thoughts o' the week

Well, T3 has stated his intention to finish writing his thoughts of the week - seems that he was involved in a high speed crash with Jeremy Clarkson and no longer has the will to live write his column. Never mind, it was good while it lasted. And, to all of you Thoughts of the Week fans (yes, all 1 of you), do not despair for I shall take up the mantle for as long as I can be bothered. That's right, you get to listen to the rants of a complete madman who has never been to Yorkshire in his life! Ahem...
  • For some bemusing reason, a selection of the Uncyclopedia community want to merge with Illogicopedia. It even made the blasted UnSignpost for goodness's sake! These people clearly don't know that Illogic and Uncyc don't really mix, but let them have their moment in the sun. Next week they'll go back to watching Tom and Jerry or something. To the ratmobile!
  • As T3 reported in the previous post, the word 'Meh' has made it into the dictionary. This got me thinking... if Illogicopedia were famous enough, and we got enough people to use it, we could possibly manage to squeeze 'fnurdle' into the dictionary! Awesome, it sounds like a campaign and a half.
  • Seems that everyone is jumping on the Bad Jokes and Deleted Nonsense bandwagon these days. I still think Wikipedia made the wrong decision when they disowned part of their history and wiped them from their servers but at least a selection still remains. Oh yeah, and a lot of the people on Yahoo Answers need to be less serious about things. Hmm, suppose that goes for Wikipedians as well.
"Alternative rock is the name given to one stone when you're looking at another stone. The term was coined by photographer Edwin Blastocyst when looking at one stone and speaking about another, oddly enough." -- BJAODN
And finally, an apology for the tardiness of new featured articles. The admins have other battles to fight at the moment, all in the name of Illogicopedian independence. Till the next time, keep fnurdling and nosing the cheese.

Monday 17 November 2008


Well ya know what? Shut up!

So here's what happened:
  1. My laptop broke so I was stuck having to make short, trivial edits on my shared desktop.
  2. I got bored of Thoughts of the Week. I'd rather just post sh*t when I want other than stick to a schedule.
  3. Well... that was pretty much it.
From now on 90% of my blogs here will have nothing to do with ?Pedia. Why? Because... I dunno. So the moral of the story is I'm done with T.o.t.W whoever wants to pick it up can. And yeah. Did you hear they put "Meh" into the dictionary?

Saturday 15 November 2008

Indie-logicopedia updatification

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last couple of weeks, it can't possibly have escaped your attention that Illogicopedia is going through some biiiig changes. We haven't 'officially' completed the move to the new servers yet as there are one or two images that still need to imported, in an ideal world. In addition, there are a few users that have yet to find the new wiki, so we intend to keep open for a while.

I must say Wikia are being co-operative with this area of things, despite the anger currently being expressed in the Illogicopedia chatroom. Their representatives, though typically blunt, are being very helpful to the departing community. The ball's pretty much in their court when we leave: their plans for the future of the old Illogic are as yet undecided. Will it be renamed to 'Wackypedia'? Will the new community decide to delete a bunch of Illogicopedia-related articles? Will a new community move in at all? Keep your eyes peeled to see what happens to your content when we announce the move - probably in the form of some sort of email or post in the Wikia forum.

Personally, if Wikia plan to keep their wiki open long term, I object to my content being held there any longer but since they aren't legally obliged to delete it it's likely to remain in place. What can I do, eh? I'm screwed on that. I have a small amount of rights to the content under the GFDL... I should have read that blasted license when we joined, not when we decided to relicense Illogicopedia's content just a few days ago. However, I shall move on as this post is descending into personal views and, well, is starting to resemble a, er, blog post of some description.

Of course, you are free to suggest your input for the rebranded Wikia ?pedia at the appropriate places on the intah-net, or even on the back of Corn Flakes packets. Or, maybe at your local biscuit factory? Wherever you feel like it, really. Careful, though, because I hear walls have ears...

AID EPOC ILLOGI - Phrubub Nose the Cheese.

Monday 10 November 2008

The case for Illogicopedia

It has come to my attention that a number of people, particularly Uncyclopedians, dislike Illogicopedia. It has been suggested that this is due to a perceived 'juvenile' image, most likely down to fact they think it is still January 2007 and Illogicopedia is littered by reams of gibberish and trashy ramble. I am here today to prove to you that this is simply not true, and whilst I am preaching to the converted (heaven forbid an Uncyclopedian read the Illogiblog...) I hope that I can show at least some of you that Illogicopedia is not just a site for kids.

It is true that there are numerous articles of 'low standard', the repetitive category being an example of that. However, the in-progress Article Improvement Drive (somewhat stalled by the move, but never fear, we'll be back on track soon) ought to sort things out to a degree, depending on the level of effort put into things. A mention must also be made of MrMetalFLower, who started the wheels moving on a campaign to stamp out "repetitives", which I shall be reviving sooner rather than later.

Another suggestion was that the front page serves to propagate this juvenile image. It must be conceded that the current design (as of about a week ago) is slightly dated, with no real positive changes made for months and months. The thinking behind this was to mirror Wikipedia, but Illogicopedia is not Wikipedia, as the experts themselves have in no uncertain terms stated. Well, I have gone ahead and tweaked one or two areas and the plan is that soon, most aspects of the front page will be revamped.

Vandalpedia may or may not be a casualty of this: though it's a much loved section of the front page, the sandal template has fallen into disuse of recent times. It could perhaps be argued that a merge of the news and vandalism templates would benefit, leaving room for some forum links and so on in its absence.

I will be taking it upon myself to make these bold changes and if anybody dislikes them, please let me know. It's important we have a front page the community is happy with.

So, er, article quality. There is no doubt that the quality of the featured articles is, like a Somerset farmer's genetically modified marrow, ever-growing. But we ask you to put these on the back burner for now and concentrate on transforming old articles into feature-worthy pinnacles of literatic wizardry. Or, just add a few more sentences.

Right, I have gone on for long enough. Once again, I thank you for (not) listening.

PS. This is the 100th post of 2008. Woohoo!

Sunday 9 November 2008

I'm back

Hi folks. It is me, Ragglefraggleking. I have took a break from Illogiblogging but know I shall be back! Okey dokey. Here's today's splash of Bathroom Genie!

Hi. It seems Illogia is finally free of the fish killing funky chunky monkey eating flabber farted Wikia. Whew! YEY! I like pie.

So, there have been a number (elevnty four) "bugs" (ew) occurring on the new wiki (both .com &.org). They have ranged from error messages, to forums not working, to internal Mediawiki errors. Sometimes it won't let you edit. But, rest assured. ?pedia is home now. And for the most part, works. So let's all give a big "Kookoochuru!" for the Illogicopedia!!!!

Next time on Bathroom Genie:
Will the pencil sharpeners eat BOB?


Thoughts of the week (Week 6, or, er, something)

Well, no T3 again for now. Last week I reported that Terminator had perhaps got him: but don't fret! He's since been reported alive and well with Saturday Night Fever star John Travolta in the depths of the Outer Bangolia flying tree forest. Anyway, heeeeeeere's some yakking for week starting 9th November.
  • The move is awesome, but there's a few bugs to iron out yet. Still, we seem to be experiencing an upsurge in wiki activity, maybe that just coincided with this momentous occasion but Illogic's definitely been more active of late.
  • It would be nice to take out some official copyright on the Illogicopedia name. Having read a comment on a previous blog post by Greenreaper (Wikifur bigwig), this seems like a cool idea and a step towards making Illogicopedia more professional.
  • Site Improvement Drive. Don't worry, we haven't forgotten about this: it's just been put on a backburner whilst we're on the move. Everything's a bit hectic at the moment but when we settle in you can be sure our effort to make Illogicopedia more appealing to the masses will be in full swing. Stay tuned, and don't touch that alcohol (it's mine).
  • I pimped up the blog sidebar and tidied a few things up. There's now a 'regulars' section and the list of bloggers is now a post in its own right (see previous post). This gives me some room to add a few niceties, like pictures.
Aaaaand that's it for another week. Maybe T3 will be back soon but until then, I'm more than happy to fill in for him. Smell you later.

Your Illogibloggers

The Illogiblog is written by a dedicated team of Illogicopedia users stationed all over the world in order bring you, the reader, the latest in nonsensical happenings from Altrincham to Albuquerque. Or, just stuff happening at the wiki.

The Illogic HQ is alive with activity, users clamouring to grab five minutes on the BBC Micro to upload their thoughts and opinions, or just play Manic Miner.

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