Illogicopedia classifieds

The Illogicopedia requires one caretaker to clean up discarded haddock and biscuit crumbs from the office carpet.

• Pay: five pence an hour
  
• Perks: you get to keep any Kit Kats you find on the floor

The Illogiblog requires one opinionated drama queen.

• Must have past experience of attention seeking (3+ years)
• Must be completely insane
• Pay: sense of inflated self esteem

Illogicopedia is looking for one hamster to improve article quality.

• Must know how to work keyboard
• Must be toilet trained
• Pay: nuts
  

All applications must be sent to Silent Penguin, Somewhere, c/o someone. Don't forget to quote the Illogiblog for your free toilet roll*.

*Not available in all areas**.
**In fact, only available in Seppy's flat.