No! Don't take that pill!

Professional apoplectic and union gooch bedazzler Warren Leaky-Blemish had decided to use the minions at his disposal to eradicate Illogicopedia. He has failed profoundly.

Binging on Red Lobster the night before had a deleterious effect on his plans to contract ADHD. Buckets of yoz.

Smell the torts! Sniff them well! For they may whiff of toothpaste laden with antifreeze.

Sylvia joined the Army, just like those assholes at her high school said she would. Languages were her gateway to bigger, better things. Farsi, Mandarin, Finnish, Mandinko... the list went on to the wee wee hours, when she had to pee a lot.

Often elephants would grow an extra set of tusks,  just to show how badassed they are. Once more, into the breach!

If you had iguana lips, your mom would still love you.

99 Bottles of Beer in Urban Mueller's BrainF***

by Ben Olmstead

ANSI C interpreter available on the internet; due to
constraints in comments the address below needs to have the
stuff in parenthesis replaced with the appropriate symbol:

http://www(dot)cats(dash)eye(dot)com/cet/soft/lang/bf/

Believe it or not this language is indeed Turing complete!
Combines the speed of BASIC with the ease of INTERCAL and
the readability of an IOCCC entry!

>+++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<[>[-]>[-]<<[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]>>>
[-]<<<+++++++++<[>>>+<<[>+>[-]<<-]>[<+>-]>[<<++++++++++>>>+<
-]<<-<-]+++++++++>[<->-]>>+>[<[-]<<+>>>-]>[-]+<<[>+>-<<-]<<<
[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]>[<+>-]<<-[>[-]<[-]]>>+<[>[-]<-]<+++
+++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-
]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+
++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>
>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<+++++++
+>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<------
---->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++
++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++
[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.-----------
-.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.
>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<
-----.---.>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>>+++
+[<++++++>-]<--.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.
><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++
++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<++
+++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<++
+++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++++++[<---------->-]<
-.---.>+++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.+++++++++++++.++++++++++.
------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<-.
-.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>+++++++[<++++++++++>-
]<--.+++++++++++.++++++++.---------.>++++++++[<---------->-]
<++.>+++++[<+++++++++++++>-]<.+++++++++++++.----------.>++++
+++[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<.>+++[<----->
-]<.>+++[<++++++>-]<..>+++++++++[<--------->-]<--.>+++++++[<
++++++++++>-]<+++.+++++++++++.>++++++++[<----------->-]<++++
.>+++++[<+++++++++++++>-]<.>+++[<++++++>-]<-.---.++++++.----
---.----------.>++++++++[<----------->-]<+.---.[-]<<<->[-]>[
-]<<[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]>>>[-]<<<+++++++++<[>>>+<<[>+>[-]<<-]
>[<+>-]>[<<++++++++++>>>+<-]<<-<-]+++++++++>[<->-]>>+>[<[-]<
<+>>>-]>[-]+<<[>+>-<<-]<<<[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<>>[<+>-]<
<-[>[-]<[-]]>>+<[>[-]<-]<++++++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+
<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>
-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..---
-----.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++
.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<-
-.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]
<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[
<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++
++++++++>-]<++++.------------.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.
>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++
..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<-----.---.+++.---.[-]<<<]
@

Trees are the evil commie dictators now

Lol. Dictators. Dictaters! Potatovich Stalin! Potato Stalin? Potato stealin'? Mr potato stalin? Mango mango mango mango mango. Mangoe! LOL. Hi. I am making a post inorder to make a post. Also inorder is not a word.

Random Russian section:

Hellovich. Ivich amov anov Russianovich. Lookovich howovich Ivich talkov. Aren'tov Ivich retardedov. Alsoovich, vodkavich

Its your money, you paid for it!!

Hebrew goes here
Who knew text could be right-wing???

now for the other section:

Looketh atteth meeth, Ieth ameth aneth retardedeth oldeth englisheth personeth whoeth speakseth thateth languageth everyoneeth makeseth funeth ofeth becauseth ofeth itseth ethseth. Loleth.

Codething:Gibraltarians

Testicles Today

Morning all, hope you're all keeping well and looking after your balls. I know I sure am.

I was thinking of doing a thoughts of the week-esque blog entry, but because Firefox started working again on Monday, most of my thoughts in recent times have been centred around the naked female form, which I didn't think would be appropriate for such a blog as this one. ''Z'OMG Think of the children!''

Anyway, I'm not hugely up to date on Illogic current events, but there seems to be a lot of articles coming in, a lot of people entering the Halloween article competition, and a lot of naked ladies on my scree- ....dammit!

I advise you have a good day, unless you can think of a better adjective to undertake than good, or unless it's night time - rendering the possibility of a "good day" implausible for several hours at least.

:''*leaves with trousers around ankles*''