Monday, 14 April 2014

Consider, if you will, the sweet granny in the picture. She lovingly bakes swastika cookies for local Bund meetings. The look on her face says, "ach! so my friggin' grandson disapproves?"

 I watched a documentary about Mel Gibson this morning. Pitiable wretch. Still, he's rich beyond our dreams, most of us.

I'd like to see him do commercials for reverse mortgages or antipsychotic medications. You don't have to be German to be insane. Mental disorder is no stranger to any race, color or persuasions.

They've been watching again. Looking out the windows surreptitiously this morning, I saw them again. They've gotten to the dog. She doesn't bark when they come around any more. I've been eating more garlic bread.

Thursday, 23 January 2014

Another year of lull has transpired across the time/space matrices of Illogicopedia, and the Pope couldn't be more pleased. The Alpaca Rendezvous Project was a raging success, having raised the collective consciousness of both Uzbekistan and Hoboken, New Jersey.  A gaggle of prigs was installed into the gaps between keystone number 8, and is almost paid for.

It has been determined by the ruling cabal that the crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe. It's not an original thought, but the truth is impossible to ignore. For the first time, biscuit appropriations were sourced to an international committee. Phrased another way, the crux was committed, straight jacket and all. The 911 call that initiated the decruxing was traced to an albino Elvis impersonator who eats Teflon.

The momentum pulled along a variegated melange of role playing games, rhapsodic headbangers, beetles, aquatic mammals, hyenas, faux lesbians and their Republican entourages, rocky road ice cream, polecats and medical supplies.

Ugh. Yet another list. It certainly can get tiresome, as lists accumulate into grommet piles like scum from the underside of inner city sewer grates. As we spin and revolve around Sol, undetected alien presences insinuate themselves into our societies. Their reptilian stamps are on nannies and political consultants alike.

So, our advice to you is to investigate these conspiracies for yourselves, and write articles related to your experiences for submission to Illogicopedia. The act can be liberating, and will certainly lead to mental aberrations.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Repeat.

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Presenting the illusion of activity by changing stuff on the main page

Moving the house cats to the new server proved to be rather easy. The hyenas proved to be more of a problem.

First of all, they were all blazing rather brightly when it came time to move them. Then a couple of interns made the mistake of dousing them with water. The resultant conflagration quickly swept the downtown area, and all of our hyenas were charged with arson.

Naturally, the French were upset, and demanded immediate action. They even offered to send troops and hyenatarian aid. We had to refuse. Illogicopedia cannot appear to be aligned with any causes or national interests for the sake of decorum. Our pleas fell on deaf ears, our rhinos fell on some scary looking lady brandishing golf tees. She was snarling when it knocked the wind out of her.

Speaking of which, have you found your socks yet?

Sunday, 27 October 2013

THIS IS NOT A JOKE: Illogicopedia has moved

You may recall our original announcement back in August of 2012 where Lyrithya cc'd us her Dear John letter to Carlb, announcing that Illogicopedia wanted a divorce and that he could keep the house because they were moving out...

Well, it's only a scant 14 months later—a mere fortnight by the bureaucratic calendar—but it's really happened!

 ]

Friday, 2 August 2013

Foundation welcomes first regular user

Today the Illogicomedia Foundation would like to recognize a first in our history: a registered user that visits regularly.

While we get thousands of hits for each new article we publish, our traffic is almost entirely comprised of anonymous IPs. So, while many are curious to read our latest policies or news updates, only a scant few... well, one user, has the courage to do it while logged in...

[ Read more ]

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Illogicomedia has moved!


I just wanted to mention that today, July 2, 2013, we changed web host providers.

That's it. It was that simple.

No letters to the powers that be (that'd be me). No public consultation period. No whining and whingeing in protracted debate. No system message on the wiki broadcasting fart and wide that even the admins don't even know what's really going on from week to week.

I made a decision. Boom. End of story.

Uh, it's real live here. God damn playa. I love being a dictatah!

Monday, 29 April 2013

UPDATE: We're moving. Changing servers. Really. We mean it this time.

This just in from our dedicated personnel at the Illogicopedia Relocation Committee (IRC), when asked for an update on our move:
[#illogiocopedia and that story of Rasputin's penis having a wart on it
perfectly positioned to make women wet.] 

[16:31] == NotTheBard [whoop-dee-d00@gateway/web/freenode/ip.68.71.52.214]
has joined #Illogicopedia 
[16:31] -ChanServ- [#Illogicopedia] Welcome to the official IRC channel of 
http://illogicopedia.org/
- also check out our blog http://blog.illogicopedia.org/ 
- vauge undefined channel rules: play nice with the other kids and we won't
have to electrocute you by sending lightning through the Internet to blow up
your computer because you KNOW we can do it and we will too.

 <NotTheBard> So... the move. Is it happening? Soon? Ever?
 <csr> Yes, Illogicopedia is moving. Of course it's true!  Why would we
 stay?
 <csr> There's absolutely no reason to.  
 <csr> Carl replied to our emails and everything, so we can't blame him
 anymore. 
 <csr> This is it. We're going. Period.
 <NotTheBard> lol
 <csr> Go ahead and laugh. It just proves you don't understand us.  
 <csr> Illogicopedia isn't supposed to be funny, not even by accident.
 <csr> But get this straight: we are moving.
 <NotTheBard> ok
 <csr> It'll happen. We're almost at the end of the month. 
 <csr> Rent on the new place is due in a couple of days, and we fully
 intend to move in.
 <NotTheBard> OK OK. I believe you.
 <csr> There's no looking back now. No hesistation, no cancellation,
 no excuses.
 <NotTheBard> OK!  Good. Happy. Pleased. Excited.
 <csr> Just you wait.

[16:33] == NotTheBard [whoop-dee-d00@gateway/web/freenode/ip.68.71.52.214]
has left #Illogicopedia 
Sounds legit, although as of now ?pedia is still hosted in beautiful, natural Canada on Carat Networks Inc.  I guess we'll know if we're really moving in a couple of days...

Or not.