The Master uses suprise to make his subtle point

Carl Jung discovered synchronicity in a Swiss coal mine. Shortly thereafter, the word "serendipity" was coined by Thomas Jefferson. Which brings me to the convergence of wikiHowl, my consciousness and Apocalypse Wiki. I knew someday Zazen would pay off.

So, this drivel spillage has run off into another wiki. The poor thing had been sitting in a closet, out of mind since 2008, and along comes some internet weirdo covered in guacamole. He decides to contribute to the wiki in the safest way he knows; by declaring that he is child proof and spiritually enlightened. "Yup", he said, "they call me Maury Satori back in Japantown." This is Gruntled's first contribution to a serious wiki.

Journal of a bear griller... Deluxe

Yo, what's up, Illogicopedes? This particular yak has been taking an unannounced break from the stresses and strains of wiki life, and for that you are free to berate him until the bovines come home. Which they will never do, because I slaughtered them for sustenance on my Bear Grylls-style expedition into the unknown. By which I mean the Real World (gsap).

That's right: I grilled bears for lunch in the wilderness of deepest, darkest UKasia, a continent largely untouched by human civilisation. There were loads of strange monkey type beasts though. Huh, didn't say anything about them in the brochure...

Aside from the aforementioned adventures, I have taken to shouting profanities and the television screen and recording it so that generations to come may know the sheer aggression built up during an endless X Factor marathon whilst heavily juiced up on some 21st century mind-altering liquid. That's Coke, by the way.

Anyhow, to those that have joined since my absence, I extend you all a hearty welcome with this gut I sliced straight from some poor cow's insides. It's mighty tasty, trust me.

If you happen to be a vegetarian, I apologise for making you read all that. Until next time, marry a bear.