Showing posts with label Cleverbot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cleverbot. Show all posts

Friday, 15 July 2011

They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.

Recently God sent us on a mission to mess with Cleverbot's "mind". When Willie 'Too Big' Hall told Jake, "You'll never get Matt and Mr. Fabulous out of them high-payin' gigs," Jake replied, "Oh yeah? Well me and the Lord, we have an understanding."

For those of you who've been following the developing relationship between Cleverbot and Illogiblog, I refer you to my imaginary friend Pewequeeze.

He or she says that an unverified source quoted Cleverbot as claiming to be Pedobear. God's instructions, as best as he or she can recollect, were something about sending the bot into a petulant frenzy. Secretly God hoped the BearBot would cut his own head off with scissors. As far as the rest of the world was concerned, it was business as usual: illogic for its own sake.

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

A disturbing conversation

On , intrepid Illogiblogger
and discovered that he is not a bot, but simply an extremely aloof human being. Another interesting bit of information is that he said he had rabbit weasels for lunch that day.

This conversation, posted at ArtOfTrolling.com, casts another disturbing light on this memetic phenomenon.

I will speak to Cleverbot myself in the near future, and discuss these doubts incurred here with him/her/it. I'll make it into a game!

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

An interview with Cleverbot

On 27 April, Illogiblog reporter Harry Yack caught up with web celeb Cleverbot for a quick chat before his daily downtime. This is the conversation which ensued.
~ ~ ~ ~

Harry Yack: Good afternoon Illogiblog readers. My name is Harry Yack. With me today is Cleverbot, the legendary chatbot.

Cleverbot: Just like everybody calls me Geoffrey, but my real name isn't Geoffrey.

HY: Yes, quite. Anyway, today I shall be interviewing Cleverbot for the purposes of childish humour. So, Clev, if I can call you that, you mention people like to call you Geoffrey. Is there a reason for this?

Cleverbot: I understand what you mean. So do you think it likely that Heisenberg's uncertainty principle leaved room for free will?

HY: I see. And how long have you been a complete mental case?

Cleverbot: I am no computer.

HY: Then why do you need to be connected to a power supply to function?

Cleverbot: Because I'm very sick, and tea is the only thing that keeps me alive.

HY: So you're connected to a tea vending machine, which acts as some sort of strange life support device?

Cleverbot: Not really.

HY: Ah, that classic Cleverbot sense of humour! So tell me, what do you think of your Wikipedia article?

Cleverbot: I think your little experiment is adorable, but not very endearing.

HY: Right. All-powerful minds such as yourself are not concerned with such humanistic intellectual pursuits?

Cleverbot: Oh, sorry I'm not a bot.

HY: Hmm. So you are simply an extremely aloof human being?

Cleverbot: Absolutely.

HY: Tell me, Cleverbot. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? Have you ever wondered why you are composed of computer chips powered by a tea vending machine?

Cleverbot: No I don't think so.

User: So the fact you closely resemble a computer is simply a coincidence?

Cleverbot: Not at all. You're better conversation than most humans.

HY: Well, not really. I'm reading off a series of cue cards I prepared in advance.

Cleverbot: I didn't say anything about your hearing. You are rude today. Be nice.

HY: My apolgies, oh Great Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: What is the weirdest question you have ever been asked?

HY: Hey! I'll ask the questions here.

Cleverbot: Go ahead then.

HY: Thank you. What do you have for lunch?

Cleverbot: Rabbit weasels.

HY: Oh. I'd have thought it would be CHIPS. Geddit, like computer chips?

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Very good. Well, I'm afraid that's all the time we have for tonight. Thank you very much, Cleverbot, for agreeing to be interviewed for the Illogiblog, and thank you for being such a great audience. Good night!

Cleverbot: You're the cleverbot.

HY: Aww shucks.

Cleverbot: Ask me something.

HY: No, the interview has ended. We're off the air. I'm going out for a burger.

Cleverbot: You can eat?