Wednesday 8 July 2009

(Not) An obvious waste of time

Hopefully by now you have read the title of this blog. Now, you don't really know what to think, do you? Is this blog going to be a waste of my time, or is it going to be the exact opposite? The answer, my Friend, lies in the next few paragraphs. If you wish to continue reading, go right ahead. If you would rather go jump off a bridge into a lake, I highly recommend that you don't; rather you should go pop some popcorn, sit down in your most comfortable chair, and prepare to read this blog.

So, let's get started. This blog has been titled "(Not) An obvious waste of time", which begs the question: Is this blog going to be important? Before we get to that answer, let's look at the indisputable facts. First off, you have chosen to read this far into the blog. In your mind you have seemed to have collected enough brain power to assume this article has some importance/value, or else you would not have read this far. This may lead us to answer the previous question, but that, my friend, would be moving several steps ahead. We have to look at all of the possible angles in this question, and there are many. Let's move on to the next: The content thus far has shown some importance (Or so you think). Now, the previous statement would convince anyone with an IQ lower than 152 that the blog itself serves some sort of importance, but would they be right? Just look back at the statements you have read thus far. Obvious fact, elegant speech (If I don't say so myself), and none other than constant ramblings persisting of the same ideas and concepts. Now, the continue talk of one simple subject may in fact lead you to believe that this blog is a little too focused, but is it really? The answer, my friend, is no; it is really more concerned of answering one simple question: Is this blog going to be important? And you may be thinking after all of the conversing that we should really reach a conclusion of the matter. However, there is more that needs to be said. Most of you are probably thinking something along the lines of "Why doesn't this bastard answer the question?" and I do not blame, mainly because I am asking myself the same. Why don't I stop? Why do I keep typing? I am doing this merely to blind you, to make you feel as though what you are reading serves a purpose. I am convincing you of a falsehood as you continue reading, and each word you read makes you one step closer to becoming brain-washed by my rather unorganized conspiracy. So, as you have asked before, Is this blog going to be important?, the answer is no.

That being stated, let us move on to the next element of which this blog is composed. This blog is trying to entice you to read even more than before, and evermore having you join the group of people who have become one of us. So, you may be thinking that I am writing this as an attempt to make you join a feeble conspiracy, but you would in fact be wrong. I am merely trying to improve your knowledge of why I really wrote this blog. This is not a conspiracy, it is a mere attempt to make you do something you do not want to. That last croup of words would convince the normal person that this is a conspiracy, but as a matter of fact that person is a lot less smart than me or you. That person has come into this place and stated a falsehood; and evil, evil falsehood that should never be mentioned again. The perosn who stated it should be removed, and we should all continue in this informational conversation

If you have read this far, I truly applaud you. Many would have stopped far before this, somewhere near the beginning. Reading this is a great accomplishment, but there is something else you should take into consideration: Imagine writing it. Oh yes, just when you thought this blog couldn't require any more thought, here comes the inevitable question of writing. Writing has a way of doing such things, such evil, menacing things. Yet, every day we use, rely on it, love. To me this makes no more sense than dollar bill printing machine. However, it remains as one of life's big questions that goes unanswered. Now back to the point.

At the beginning of this article, you were debating over yourself whether youu should keep reading, and whether this article would be a waste of time. It has finally come time to reveal these answers... after yet another paragrpah of debate. Now I'm not trying to displease you, in fact, I'm trying quite the opposite. I'm trying to improve your ratioal thinking abilities ina clever, entertaining way, but to many of you thick-minded people this may not be the best method to entertaain. However, in my opinion, this is the best way to get a person to enjoy themselves. You read novels, you get so deeply engaged... but what about blogs? have you ever tried with a mere blog? If you have not, you should attempt now, for this is no less than a golden opportunity to do so. Bond with this blog, enjoy it, and secretly try to take the mysteries of it out of it's back pocket when it's not looking. Yes, I'm am telling you to go further into the blog, further into your thought... but the real question is: What for? This is a good question one should ask themselves as they are reading this. Why do I continue to read? What is in it for me? Will the question ever get answered? And all of those questions, my friend, are about to be answered.

You have asked yourself: Is the blog a waste of time? And the answer is yes, it is a waste of time. I'm glad you read it all the way through.


  1. ow do you get the time to write that much? wow. I read though. HOW DID I GET THAT TIME? wow!

  2. God almighty. Longest ?blog post ever?

  3. Oh ffs, couldn't bring myself to read all this! :D :D

  4. im just going to "say" i read this