We're famous!

The bible of mental disorders, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV), will list a new disorder in the next month's publication.  Illogicopedic Surreality Syndrome AKA Bull Goose Loony Syndrome, a condition brought on by prolonged exposure to Illogicopedia, will be defined as, "a condition whereby the patient experiences articles read at the Illogicopedia wiki web site as a substitute for the "real world". Some symptoms include atypical drooling, incessant reading of Illogicopedia articles, snorting coffee grounds and attempting to use the sphincter as a musical instrument (particularly in imitation of French Horn or mandolin).

Readers should be aware that they might even now be under the influence of Illogicopedicism, and headed down the corridor to a cell, where you get a special jacket and lots of jello.  I don't want to scare anybody, but I'm getting the hell out of the country before the really bad stuff starts.  Good night, and good luck.

Illogicomedia acquires oceanic circulation

Following in the footsteps of super-sensational Black Metal band Metalocalypse, researchers at IllogicoLabs have developed an effective media delivery system for fishes. 

Says Dr. Zinbat Calliflorensia of IllogiLabs LLC, "By far the greatest challenge was to adapt bananas with seaworthy gills." 

We are adopting a modified Microsofteseque Blitzkrieg methodology with which to quickly and massively saturate the markets in all major oceans and seas.  Although holding an initial monopoly on marine fish as an audience, we realize that alone will not guarantee far-reaching success and permanent world domination potential.  That is why we have acquired a fleet of decommissioned Soviet submarines.  If necessary,  we can interfere with merchant shipping long enough to focus our fleet of laser shark satellites on cowboys.

Recent Inactivity creates race of Super-Fritzels

That's right, you heard it here first, a lack of updation on this very blog has been directly linked to the creation and large scale mobilisation of a new breed of 70 year-old paedo warriors.

Being both crusty and old, this new army have already had great success in their military campaign, with their blitzkrieg tactics rendering basement defences largely obsolete. Though pest control units have been dispatched to deal with the issue, these efforts have had little effect.

Gordon Brown has blamed their ineffectiveness on leg cramp, acquired from having to constantly stand up on buses as to give up their seats to the elderly pregnant Austrian master race. Gordo's spokesperson had this to say, "Bloody hell, grumpy Scottish git or what? Oh right, the whole Fritzel thing. Hang on, I just wedgied myself getting up, gi' us a second lad, can you pass me that shoe horn? ...... Ok, ripe and ready.

"This report is lame."

The Prime minister wishes to express his grave and succulently chubby concern over the situation, and wishes to reassure the public that ineffective measures will eventually be implemented after an unecessarily chocolatey wait. As for the meantime we plan to focus on more pressing issues, like forcing Jacqui Smith to watch the extended highlights of 2 Girls One Cup, including the masterful post-match analysis of Linekar and Hansen. Good stuff my friend, good stuff. Now leave."

"Bold italic quote extracts."

Though this terrifying new force is all powerful and almost unstoppable, we advise viewers at home not to worry too much. Pamphlets are currently being made on how to adjust to this new sub-terranean paedo epidemic, including ways of benefitting from it.