The almighty TReich

The Illogicopedia bandwagon is still rolling in the continued absence of a particular slacker who's been rather lazy over the past month or so.

Never mind, though, because the testicular Testistocles (pictured right) is keeping the wheels turning on the Illogico machine which, despite the presence of copious amounts of rust that's built up over early May, is still just about functioning. It's alive, I tells ya!

Thankfully, everyone has just about shut up about the political situation that has blighted our lives over the past two weeks, and thank goodness for that. Just remember: in a year's time, everyone will have completely forgotten who Clegg, Cameron and Brown are as the machines will most likely have risen up and asserted their mighty authority by then, a bit like out of Terminator or Futurama except with a much lower level of wit and irony. Roberto will probably have to be conscripted or something.

In other news, the great Uncyclo-cull continues apace, or at least at a steady rate, as more and more Uncle Pete imports are hunted for sport. If you see one, you are free to shoot it with the firearm of your choice - I recommend a BB gun or, if you're a cheapskate, a water pistol. Actually, I reckon the latter would have more comical effects, so you'd better get the Supersoakers out in preparation for the watery cull!

I'm now off to pinch Levi Roots' recipe for Reggae Reggae Sauce and flog it to McDonald's for a billion quid, so until I dispatch of the Jamaican Mafia, sayonara.

R.I.P. Any relevace news stories about the death of Michael Jackson once had (July 25th, 2009 - not long after)

We are gathered here today to celebrate the life and times of the relevance to press coverage pertaining to the demise of Michael Jackson.

The press saturation, or 'Media "McCoverage" Deadson' as we came to know him, lived among us only briefly, yet in that short time he brought us both great joy, and great bullshit.

Media was born on an otherwise unremarkable night, in the relatively unknown maternity ward of TMZ.com. The beautiful baby weighed in at 8 lbs, and 5 bajillion hits. A remarkably loud baby it's crying quickly consumed the hospital, and soon after sky news.

To many reporters and journalists this was the baby their religion had long awaited for, the Messiah child that would lead them from desperately scraping together an existence reporting stories about the Pope's mega condom to the promised land where stories were plenty, and comparisons to Princess Diana flowed organically from Rupert Murdoch's golden throne. A paradise realm where papers would be given divine direction to report of Michael Jackson for many months to come.

Whether or not they're right, within hours of Media entering the world he was seized by greedy Murdoch-fearing journalists, and sacrified on the altars of repetition. Despite being a relatively risk-free procedure, with each reincarnation of the captive Media a little bit of relevance was lost.

But this was of no consequence to the journalists, the world had literally stopped moving, people had stopped being born and dying, to gaze at the quickly spreading Media clones. And for a while, say a week, it worked, the stories were interesting, and progressively more and more hermits were being culturally enlightened. This peaked on MJ's funeral when so popular was Media that his facebook friend's list literally exploded, fuelling obligatory "and in other news" segments for newsreaders everywhere.

But now Media was old news, he'd been around for almost a month, he had rickets and pneumonia was begniing to set in. But still the exploitation didn't stop. Reports of the big M's continued carcassing kept coming, the press's laziness ever increasing as the point of Media grew weaker and weaker. On the 10 of July, 2009 he was admitted to hospital, with heart problems.

Despite ever-increasing doses of unreality the poor little coverage couldn't shake off his ailment and all relevance it had died of a cardiac arrest later that afternoon, surrounded by it's family. The post mortem concluded parody was an underlying health factor.

The funeral's next Friday. Meet outside Tescos at 4, Mariah Carey won't be singing. Thank God.

W*kia

Well, as nobody may have noticed, (except for Hindleyite, who seems to be nauseous from our latest laughing gas leak.) it appears that Wikia's ghost town of ?pedia has dropped off the google rankings of our sitename :D. Can I be the first to say "F*cking Finally!"

And now for an image of Duncan's goods.


So, also Hindleyite commented on a post he made to w*kia's ripoff of various other answers sites which beg for users to answer the questions the site owners cant be bothered to answer themselves. Well, it seems in an attempt to dodge the bullet, they have deleted the question. In typical style, it seems w*kia (or at least it's representatives) are willing to put their hands in their ears and pretend as though it never happened.

I'd finally like to say how grateful we are to Carl for providing us free hosting. And i unlike some users, am not going to look a gift-horse in the mouth over the downtime we get for about 10 minutes a night.

So what if I felt like a blog post?

Just looking through the site this morning, seeing some really good articles. I like the way all your writing is beginning to evolve, cool examples of randomness greeted me from all angles. A few I saw and liked:

• Slugs
• YAAAAAAAAAAAAA
• HowTo:Predict The Future With Poop
• Declaring
• Punch Wired

BTW, I've taken the incentive and started adding to articles I come across in any way possible, I encourage you to do the same. The Push for Illogicopedian Improvement's going to be having wide reaching effects across the site, so you might as well help out. The forum is awesome people!

About now you should be wondering where's the lame self promotion so typical of these blog posts :P

Nah.