You should get that rash looked at...

Harry Potter and the Mall-walkers of Doom, the latest dollop of the franchise, is being filmed in Katmandu, Nepal starting August 25 this year. Executive producer Danika Patrick told Illoginews recently in an exclusive interview that, "I'm so gassed at the prospect of doing the first film in spoken Klingon."

Also coming so to select theaters is instant scifi classic Greek Laser Bunnies From Space, an actioner with the Olsen twins starring as a gigantic pink gift bunny, Jerry Garcia as himself and Adam West as a fast talking, speedo wearing, ray gun wielding antihero with a god complex. Because director Kurt Yudfnorch refused to stop calling little people midgets, a last minute substitution of Masai warriors were called in to play the Ewoks, a surprisingly good decision.

End of the World Rant

The Apocalypse has been on the minds of many Christians and others since it was first documented by St. John the Divine on the island of Patmos. To put things into perspective, though, this was the same time that St. Vitus Dance competitions became a craze, sweeping the Roman and Persian empires. The Aliens may be here any minute now. Since the ratification of the Strategic Doggie Fart Initiative by the United States Congress in 1967, a mounting fear has gripped the citizens of the world, in some cases, by the balls. Who knew, back in 1938 when Rudolf Cantankerheit designed the first weaponized doggie fart delivery system, that an arms race of canine gases would come to dominate the last half of the 20th Century?

Fortunately, there is a place you can go and find valuable information about the whens, wheres and hows of a potential world-ending event. It's run by a secretive blogger which calls itself User:127.0.0.1. Even the FBI can't locate this individual, credited with sowing panic into the masses by the dozen. Zombies, penguins, polar bears, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, Jesus, undulating tentacles of a horror from beyond time and space and many other possible causes to the worlds end are carefully researched and documented on the Apocalypse wiki. Eeble. Sonk.

The almighty TReich

The Illogicopedia bandwagon is still rolling in the continued absence of a particular slacker who's been rather lazy over the past month or so.

Never mind, though, because the testicular Testistocles (pictured right) is keeping the wheels turning on the Illogico machine which, despite the presence of copious amounts of rust that's built up over early May, is still just about functioning. It's alive, I tells ya!

Thankfully, everyone has just about shut up about the political situation that has blighted our lives over the past two weeks, and thank goodness for that. Just remember: in a year's time, everyone will have completely forgotten who Clegg, Cameron and Brown are as the machines will most likely have risen up and asserted their mighty authority by then, a bit like out of Terminator or Futurama except with a much lower level of wit and irony. Roberto will probably have to be conscripted or something.

In other news, the great Uncyclo-cull continues apace, or at least at a steady rate, as more and more Uncle Pete imports are hunted for sport. If you see one, you are free to shoot it with the firearm of your choice - I recommend a BB gun or, if you're a cheapskate, a water pistol. Actually, I reckon the latter would have more comical effects, so you'd better get the Supersoakers out in preparation for the watery cull!

I'm now off to pinch Levi Roots' recipe for Reggae Reggae Sauce and flog it to McDonald's for a billion quid, so until I dispatch of the Jamaican Mafia, sayonara.

Illogicopedia user spotted in 1988 rave video

It's official: Testostereich is a real party animal. Not content with having all those featured articles and gold stars and such, he's topped it all off by going back in time to appear in a video for some acid house rave in a field somewhere.

See! That's him in the picture on the right!

Illogicopedia users are currently searching for the time machine used. One such contraption was found, but it has been confirmed this is not the one used by Testostereich to perform mysterious, physics-bending time warps.

Where will old TReich turn up next? You decide! Vote now...

1. Great Wall of China, 1976 Call 0870 1234567
2. Jupiter, 1084 Call 0870 9876543
3. The toilet, Yesterday Call a doctor

Calls charged at local rates for local people.

W*kia

Well, as nobody may have noticed, (except for Hindleyite, who seems to be nauseous from our latest laughing gas leak.) it appears that Wikia's ghost town of ?pedia has dropped off the google rankings of our sitename :D. Can I be the first to say "F*cking Finally!"

And now for an image of Duncan's goods.


So, also Hindleyite commented on a post he made to w*kia's ripoff of various other answers sites which beg for users to answer the questions the site owners cant be bothered to answer themselves. Well, it seems in an attempt to dodge the bullet, they have deleted the question. In typical style, it seems w*kia (or at least it's representatives) are willing to put their hands in their ears and pretend as though it never happened.

I'd finally like to say how grateful we are to Carl for providing us free hosting. And i unlike some users, am not going to look a gift-horse in the mouth over the downtime we get for about 10 minutes a night.

So what if I felt like a blog post?

Just looking through the site this morning, seeing some really good articles. I like the way all your writing is beginning to evolve, cool examples of randomness greeted me from all angles. A few I saw and liked:

• Slugs
• YAAAAAAAAAAAAA
• HowTo:Predict The Future With Poop
• Declaring
• Punch Wired

BTW, I've taken the incentive and started adding to articles I come across in any way possible, I encourage you to do the same. The Push for Illogicopedian Improvement's going to be having wide reaching effects across the site, so you might as well help out. The forum is awesome people!

About now you should be wondering where's the lame self promotion so typical of these blog posts :P

Nah.