It's taken years of tracking, clue sampling and a whole army of bakini clad sniffer dogs, but last night the existance of the elusive bigfoot was at last confirmed when he was found in the appartment of one Mr.H.Yak during the small hours. In a room littered with used contraceptive and copies of Men's Health special agents staying with the beliguered Mr. Yak noticed the great ape in his bedroom on their way to expel what reports are describing to be a "mammoth" poop. This was later confirmed by a strange man with way too much time on his hands.
The now far less abominable snowman is being kept at a safehouse, where he awaits sentencing for several race crimes committed in the early 50's. Though back then he was more commonly known as the abominable white man. Despite the overwhelming evidence in favour of his innocence, the massive electric chair surplus means the death penalty will most likely be used. At least twice, depending on how much of him is left after the first two frazzlings.
As for Mr.Yak, 10 months of community service at the zoo and a double page nude spread in Girlrilla are being implmented in an attempt to change the notorious monkey lover's naughty ways. The Yak, in a state scheduled press conference had this to say "Eh oop? Owdo you manage t' think that this'll werk?"
Oh, touche Mr Reich!
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