Saturday, 25 June 2011

Letters to the Editor: Spambots Edition

Thanks to a recent upsurge in site activity, the Illogicopedia inbox has been overflowing with messages of praise, criticism and the promise of free prescription drugs for low, low prices. Nah, only joking - we'd be lucky to get one email a month.

But the Illogiblog's comments queue is literally filled with walls of text from the processors of spambots eager to peddle their Russian dating sites scribbled in semi-Engrish nonsense that wouldn't look out of place on the pages of Illogicopedia. To that end, here's a selection of the latest waste products fresh from the Illogiblog spambox.
Someone essentially help to make seriously articles I would state. This is the first time I frequented your web page and thus far? I amazed with the research you made to make this particular publish incredible. Fantastic job! -- Free Porn Videos
Always nice to be praised by a (fellow?) pornographer. At this rate, it looks as though we'll be a firm favourite from Hugh Hefner's bookmarks list before too long. Playboy, here we come baby!
Greetings We are very happy I discovered your site My partner and I actually discovered you through mistake, while I was searching upon Askjeeve regarding something else entirely, -- Flash websites
Whilst I am pleased by your enthusiasm for the Illogiblog, I wonder where you learned your punctuation. Was it the School of Placing Random Commas Wherever it Looks Nice? Or perhaps the Institute of Full Stop Loathers? Anyway, I shall pass your message to Askjeeve, whoever the eeble sonk he is.
It really is difficult to get informed persons for this matter, but you sound like you doubt know exactly what you are speaking about! With thanks -- Vernon
Aha, I see your usage of the Cloak of Doubt there, and as such I am not fooled by your excessive butteriness. Incidentally, you'll have a hard tasking finding persons more informed on the subject of sheer nonsense, so don't even try or we shall dispatch Bcbkye to place a pox upon your servers.
My partner and i knew I was appropriate. My buddy and My spouse and i placed a bet in relation to which web site was superior. I imagined your web site was superior created, but the lady believed this kind of post upon trendy design ideas was far better. We rounded up 5 family members memebers who had not seen often website prior to to study them each more than. Majority chose your internet site. Thanks regarding maintaing an incredible site. -- How to get rid of cellulite
This one was just creepy. To round up three family members is foolish; to round up five is tantamount to creative suicide, especially where Illogicopedia is concerned. On that rather disturbing note, I shall leave you for now.

8 comments:

  1. Dear pustules,

    I am very offended that you did not publish my letter to your publication last month. Being a long-time spambot, I cannot fathom why my grave would be desecrated with germs, but something I know for sure is that you're a bunch of bigots.

    Oh... never mind... I thought this was Stephen Colbert's blog.

    Sincerely,
    Admiral Junkers 409 Freen-bot, 3rd Brigade, 88th Armoured Canned Ham Infantry, back up liaison to the Belgians

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hah, remind me to post an article response to that comment! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Harry,

    This is a reminder for you to post an article in response to my initial comment.

    With great deference,
    Admiral Junkers 409 Freen-bot, 3rd Brigade, 88th Armoured Canned Ham Infantry, back up liaison to the Belgians

    ReplyDelete