Revisionist History

It's December 19, 2012.  I was deeply concerned that no-one had blogged in the month of November.  No one.  Not once.

And so I wrote this.

And backdated it to November.

Wipe that look of horror off your pudding face.  They do worse things on Wall Street every day.

Oooh. Another sin.

The discerning mind

Bilbo Endive
88 Uvula Proxima
Rat's Tangle, London, UK

Today's shipment of belching hyenas will be a bit short, so please bear with us as we make up the difference in land dolphins. As always, remember to treat raw hyena meats with motor oil as a prophylaxis against implantation by space aliens and Belgians.

While visiting our facility, please bear witness to the many wonders and cackling horsies as they impede your vision of a better tomorrow. If you can read this, you are too close... to something dangerous, like fanged meats, perhaps. Beware the nonchalance and indignity, as it's catching. So is your mum.

Yours In Christ,
The Doldrums

Is Illogiblog really that bad?

It has come to our attention here at Illogiblog that reading much of the content here is a lot like being sprayed by owl vomit. Well, not vomit precisely, but whatever is in the picture (right), it's certainly more than just water. So, if that's what my writing is doing to you, poor dear readers, I say, "What's wrong with you, subjecting yourself to such drivel? Are you some kind of lab experiment with an inconceivable tolerance for crap?!"

In back country Finland, watching owls projectile vomit is considered a sport. Villages compete for distance records, number of horks per event, number of humans caused to throw up because of the spectacle and other obscure and untranslatable awards having to do with lots of snow and caribou.

Well, I don't know about you, but I learned something today.

Bad Komik warning:may contain blasphemy

Testicles Today

Morning all, hope you're all keeping well and looking after your balls. I know I sure am.

I was thinking of doing a thoughts of the week-esque blog entry, but because Firefox started working again on Monday, most of my thoughts in recent times have been centred around the naked female form, which I didn't think would be appropriate for such a blog as this one. ''Z'OMG Think of the children!''

Anyway, I'm not hugely up to date on Illogic current events, but there seems to be a lot of articles coming in, a lot of people entering the Halloween article competition, and a lot of naked ladies on my scree- ....dammit!

I advise you have a good day, unless you can think of a better adjective to undertake than good, or unless it's night time - rendering the possibility of a "good day" implausible for several hours at least.

:''*leaves with trousers around ankles*''