Well, I would choose a long pointy implement and a rather large boat, preferably a cruise liner or something. Alternatively, you could follow the instructions outlined in WikiHowl's article and hope the bear somehow dies from exhaustion or something.Warning: you're gonna need a magical conch shell, which can be obtained at your local newsagent with your rental copy of Das Pussyvator.
If possible, get to land before fighting the bear. You will have increased mobility and it will be easier to land a jumping punch to the bear's maw. Maw punches will end the fight quickly as you will shame the bear into giving up.For the WikiHowl fans among you, you might be sad to know that the site failed to win an award recently. Don't despair, though, as WikiHowl was the subject of a discussion on Kerrang! Radio a month or so ago, and will be hitting back with even more chuckleworthy Wikihow fodder in the near future. For those of you who haven't already, bookmark WikiHowl now.
The bear image is by Communi core at Wikimedia Commons.
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