Editor Spotlight: To those we have lost

This just in: the Editor Spotlight thingy is here again for your soul.

Illogicopedia is like a train: people get on and enjoy the ride for as long as they like. Whilst some are here for the journey, others choose to depart at earlier stops to save them from going insane. Illogiblog today takes a look through the archives and poses the question: What ever happened to them?

Zerotrousers

Everyone's favourite(?) Uncyc-banned user shined then blew out in a blaze of pantsless glory in July 2008 after about 100 edits. But was his impact really that great? Well you might say no, but just for Marmalade alone he earns his place here.

Quagsire

What happened to this guy? He edited for a few weeks then left abruptly. This was not before he produced the masterpiece that was the Mel Gibson Conspiracy, though and this is most likely what he will be remembered for. That and having a name remarkably similar to a Family Guy character...

Flameviper

Course, even though Flamey hasn't been that active recently his spirit is still with us. Though a bit prone to vandalism and vanity in his early days, no doubt his actions spurred the community into revamping the vandal measures. For this, we salute thee, Flamey, and would warmly welcome you back at any point.

That's not all of them. I've got more, but we shall save them for another post. Fnurdletoot for now.

Recent Inactivity creates race of Super-Fritzels

That's right, you heard it here first, a lack of updation on this very blog has been directly linked to the creation and large scale mobilisation of a new breed of 70 year-old paedo warriors.

Being both crusty and old, this new army have already had great success in their military campaign, with their blitzkrieg tactics rendering basement defences largely obsolete. Though pest control units have been dispatched to deal with the issue, these efforts have had little effect.

Gordon Brown has blamed their ineffectiveness on leg cramp, acquired from having to constantly stand up on buses as to give up their seats to the elderly pregnant Austrian master race. Gordo's spokesperson had this to say, "Bloody hell, grumpy Scottish git or what? Oh right, the whole Fritzel thing. Hang on, I just wedgied myself getting up, gi' us a second lad, can you pass me that shoe horn? ...... Ok, ripe and ready.

"This report is lame."

The Prime minister wishes to express his grave and succulently chubby concern over the situation, and wishes to reassure the public that ineffective measures will eventually be implemented after an unecessarily chocolatey wait. As for the meantime we plan to focus on more pressing issues, like forcing Jacqui Smith to watch the extended highlights of 2 Girls One Cup, including the masterful post-match analysis of Linekar and Hansen. Good stuff my friend, good stuff. Now leave."

"Bold italic quote extracts."

Though this terrifying new force is all powerful and almost unstoppable, we advise viewers at home not to worry too much. Pamphlets are currently being made on how to adjust to this new sub-terranean paedo epidemic, including ways of benefitting from it.

Illogi Classics - #21, Spontaneously Combustible Eggs

What better article to feature on Illogi Classics this Easter than this detailed description of the delightfully versatile spontaneously combustible egg?

Spontaneously Combustible Eggs

And how wonderfully useful it is too, with a wide range of uses from llama destructor to self-defense mechanism in case of mugging. What's more, Bulleyosheibenta! (Read the article and it'll make more sense.)

Distributed at Easter time by Santa, it's not uncommon to find these impromptu rodent exterminators in your stocking when you wake up in the morning, so watch out this Easter Sunday if you value your fingers.

It is a well-known fact that McDonald's use SCEs in their egg McMuffin, which is essentially the cause of the McLibel incident, in reality. You might even say it's the case in an eggshell.

I'm going to go back to playing Pacman now. Happy Easter.

Thoughts of the week (April 10th) - Pink elephants in the room

After a three-month absence, Thoughts of the Week is back, at least for now. The reason for this is the fact I have some time to fritter away right now, and though there isn't an awful lot happening in the world of Illogicopedia at the moment, the hope is that very soon there will be.

It probably won't have escaped your attention that the podcast is back once again. Well, to tell you the truth, I have had the first edition pretty much mixed for the last few days and barring a tweak or two, it is finished. I am not releasing it, however, until I think there are a few people around to listen to it.

To this end, I hope to get VFF rolling once again and push through a few more features in the next week. With a bit of luck this will have a domino effect, as when people see new content they are inspired to write more. At least, that's the theory.

I am glad to see that Illogicopedia is still rolling nicely, and for as long as there are people around to push the buttons, the wheels will keep on turning even in periods of relative inactivity.

A final word on the 'array' bug, that annoyingly persistent pink elephant in the room. Well, I personally haven't a clue what that's all about, but I recommend Internet Explorer users switch to Firefox or Safari in the meantime, as the glitch doesn't seem to have affected those browsers as much.

Stick with Illogicopedia, as the grand launch of a new Pickle is imminent.

Whetting your Illogicast appetite

The excitingly good news is that the long-awaited Illogicast #1 is almost complete. It will be available later this week, but for now we shall tease you a bit more... heheheh.

Download Best of Illogicomedia 2007-2008

(Right click > Save as to save to hard drive)

Available now on the podcast - Best of Illogicopedia 2007-2008, a compilation of the best stuff from the 'old' Illogicopedia podcast and some audio grabbed from the Illogico YouTube channel as well.

You've probably heard it all before, but that's not all. When I can be bothered, I will be uploading some Illogicast #1 outtakes and special features to the Illogicopedia YouTube channel for your delectation. I actually need to make some visuals for that yet, so don't be surprised if they suck.

But anyway, keep it at Illogiblog for further developments.

Editor Spotlight: HelloMetalReich / 194.80.20.10

What's this? A new feature at the Illogiblog? Why, we haven't had one of those in ages! Well, who knows if this will become a regular thing, we'll have to wait and see. For now, enjoy.

HelloMetalReich

Technically HMR is still with us, as this account was the joint effort of three of Illogic's more prominent users (Testicles, MetalFlower and HelloolleH). After much success, including two featured articles, the experiment/collaboration was ended in 2008 after a spate of vandalisms from one of the users.

The legacy shall remain, however, in the Penglish Uprising and EPIC Fail articles which prove that collaboration is, in most cases, a very good thing. But, too much of a good thing is pretty much always bad.

Illogicopedia now strongly discourages any such accounts.

194.80.20.10

Not many people know this, but 194.80.20.10 is in fact the IP which contributes the most to Illogicopedia. That's because it's the school IP of three of our most active contributors: think HelloMetalReich but with a far more schizophrenic personality and an increased tendency for vandalism and vanity. This makes it fun to guess who edits what...

The IP made its first edit in January 2007 and has since made 218 edits: that's more than some of our regular contributors. So, hats off to Wilma!-ington Grammar School!

WE LOVE CADIE!!

I Love Bees finally has a legitimate heir, this come coming from everyone's favorite Chinese Communist puppet company .... no stupid, it's not Heinz Ketchup ... yes that's right GOOGLE!! Meet my new virtual girlfriend CADIE! And check out her lame blog!

Google's got a new "Brain Search" feature they're unveiling today. You can also get it on your phone.

A floating reader? Join Illogicopedia!

This is a message to all Illogicopedia's floaters -- that is, casual readers that drop by every so often to see what's going on.

Did you know that you can create your own account at Illogicopedia? It only takes a minute and you don't even have to enter an email address. Creating an account will give you more visibility and authority on Illogic, so don't be afraid to sign up now for free condoms*!

There's a bunch of other benefits too, but it mainly allows you to edit stuff under a more identifiable name. Oh yeah, and feel free to create your own articles, too.

*Free condoms obtainable via the NHS. Please quote Illogicopedia, but be careful not to overdo the insanity thing or you'll be locked up or something.

BiblioClub the latest to leave Wikia

Something to keep an eye on over the coming weeks is BiblioClub's decision to leave Wikia. It's by no means a large wiki, but the resulting fallout is worth paying attention to.

A couple of days ago a bunch of content was deleted and since the 22nd March the main page has looked like this:


The official announcement was made on their blog on the 23rd March.

Will the redundant Wikia be kept open or, due to its relatively small size, deleted? We shall see. Good luck, Biblioclub, we wish you a pain-free future away from Wikia.

Luck o' the irish!

Hey all you Illogicopedians! Happy ST. Patricks Day! Have a cool day, even though I posted this a 10pm E.S.T., and don't forget: if you find a leprechaun, eat it. Yes just do it. No questions......

Illogicopedia is back, baaaaby!

After two days, Illogic is back on the road. Exciting times ahead for the wiki, with plans to expand the Illogicopedia multimedia empire already in progress. Rumblings are already rumblificating that herald the return of the podcast (which may or may not happen, depends how lazy the editors are) and increased activity on ze blog. Mint, eh?

Record crap on your microphone and send it to Hindleyite now!

Also, in case I do not post in the next few days, have a Guinness on me this St. Paddy's Day. In the case you are under 18, have a Vodka/cider on me.

Don't panic!

Yep, you may have noticed that the Illogicopedia servers have been down for some time now. Well, don't despair! There's a few rats in the servers, so we've sent for the exterminators and Illogico will be up and running soon. Trust us.

Meantime, why not check out some of these classic Illogiblog posts? [In no particular order...]

• Are the Illogicopedia administrators evil? ~ Asema, 15/4/07
• Wikipedia denies existence of The Moon! ~ Hindleyite, 16/12/07
• Remember to water your fax machine ~ Raggle Fraggle King, 20/10/08
• Plastic figures getting brutally massacred [video] ~ Fonchezzz, 1/9/08
• The Going Down the Crapper Rant ~ Silent Penguin, 17/1/08
• Book Review - Day of the Triffids ~ Huge Bob, 12/9/08
  

Don't let the Credit Crunch get you down

Oh dear, it seems Illogico is down right now, so I will have a bit of a rant here.

It's a sad fact, but the Golden Age of the satire wiki is over, killed off by the Credit Crunch and the associated 'downfall of capitalism'. Some might say Uncyclopedia was rapidly declining in quality long before this, but I'm inclined to disagree - sure, the old guard are out and the new guys in, but article quality is not suffering as a consequence.

The basic problem is that too much hate and bureaucracy currently surrounds the Uncyclopedian climate. Sure, the punters are still coming in and enjoying the top selection of current featured articles, but the overall community spirit and atmosphere has waned somewhat.

I place the blame squarely at the feet of Wikia. When Chron accepted Jimbo's offer of free hosting (and let's face it, who wouldn't?), little did he know the uproar it would cause. Wikia has taken it upon themselves to move Uncyc from its spiritual home at www.uncyclopedia.org to their own servers in order to further their own advances. With that, a huge part of Uncyc's soul -- its independence -- died.

Uncyc has always been about being radical and "out there". But it has moved back in with its mother, relegating it to the uncool league.

There's still hope for the parody wiki yet, however - Uncyc, though the big cheese, is by no means the only kid on the block. Keep it Illogical in 2009 for a homely, welcoming and most importantly non-corporate humour wiki.

Wikia Answers under the microscope

I don't know why I'm even giving oxygen to this second rate, bandwagon jumping rip-off of a website, but anyway...


Wikia Answers has deleted 100% of my questions, namely "Why is Wikia such a sellout?" and another one I can't remember. The only reason I can think of is they want to bump up their answer rate, which currently stands at a quite frankly appalling 17%. Furthermore, I am sure they:

1. Want to sweep criticism under the carpet
2. Have no sense of humour about anything
3. Will crush you with their dullard administrative jargon

WikiAnswers is a pointless, redundant attention-grabbing scheme that should never have been created. Unless... we can somehow surreptitiously infiltrate the wiki and slip in the odd semblance of humour here and there. You know, it's just zany enough to work!

Please send screengrabs of your stupid questions and join the fun!

A dedication

I'd like to dedicate the next song to our (nonexistent) friends over at Wikia and Wackypedia. Enjoy.


Keep it Illogical, yo, and drop us a message if you would like Illogicast to return. Peas out.

W*kia

Well, as nobody may have noticed, (except for Hindleyite, who seems to be nauseous from our latest laughing gas leak.) it appears that Wikia's ghost town of ?pedia has dropped off the google rankings of our sitename :D. Can I be the first to say "F*cking Finally!"

And now for an image of Duncan's goods.


So, also Hindleyite commented on a post he made to w*kia's ripoff of various other answers sites which beg for users to answer the questions the site owners cant be bothered to answer themselves. Well, it seems in an attempt to dodge the bullet, they have deleted the question. In typical style, it seems w*kia (or at least it's representatives) are willing to put their hands in their ears and pretend as though it never happened.

I'd finally like to say how grateful we are to Carl for providing us free hosting. And i unlike some users, am not going to look a gift-horse in the mouth over the downtime we get for about 10 minutes a night.

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From the Illogicopedia archives.

The Norwegian Illogicopedia is open!

Well actually, it has been for a while but I forgot to write about it before now. CartoonistHenning has took it upon himself to craft the Artigpedia - which is just like Illogicopedia, but in Norwegian. Cool beans, eh?

In other news, the Illogicopedia is literally shooting up the Alexa rankings and has now hit the giddy heights of 1.4 million. I would suggest this is something to do with the fact the Illogiblog, which accounts for a whole load of extra traffic, was recently moved to the illogicopedia.org domain. Pretty soon we will achieve our goal and overtake Wikia and of course Wackypedia, that abandoned ghost town of a wiki. Mwhahah! Take that, W*kia!

Oh yeah, and have a good Pancake Day.

The Hamster On The Keyboard: An Obituary

*Not actual Keyboard Hamster.

Terribly sad news: the Hamster On The Keyboard has died.

The HOTK shot to fame in Serpeniver 2007 with his masterwork A hamster on a keyboard, which garnered critical acclaim from the higher echelons of the Illogicopedia. At his most prolific he was nominated for Writer of the Month and was the subject of the tribute article A hamster on a keyboard (phenomenon) in late 2007.

Almost a year after completing his most famous piece, the HOTK was honoured with an Illogi Classic entry recognising his literary prowess and proclaiming him a genius amongst his kind.

He never received any official awards for his efforts, and being a most humble creature would never accept them, but the Hamster will live long in our memories thanks to the legacy he has left on Illogicopedia.

Rest In Peace the Keyboard Hamster.

Wikiquestions: Why is Wikia such a sellout?

Wikia is never afraid of stealing other peoples' ideas and using them to their own advantage. At least Illogicopedia acknowledges its parodies - Wikia is becoming a parody of itself.

Also, get Jimbo's ugly fizzog out of my face!