Meanwhile, as I distracted you with my first paragraph, the head honchos from Illogicopedia have kidnapped this poor fellow (in the refrigerator). Apologies to Trent, whom I picked at RationalWiki to play a character in this story. He happened to be the magical user who created the RationalWiki About page. He will be held until we are satisfied that ?pedia will have the opportunity to defend itself on it's own illogical terms. Aeeble, and needless to say, no Sonk.
Amateur vulcanologist and monkey enthusiast Palpatia Smugway of Shepard's Bush is to be brought in as a consultant on this important matter. The part of James Tiberius Kirk will be played by a rotting deer carcass, and Ricardo Montalban will materialize out of thin air to load cargo into a Boeing 767. A mounting crescendo of cacophonic howler monkeys will complete the suite of acts in this piece of performance art.