Sunday 17 July 2011

Illogicopedia implicated in News of the World phone hacking scandal

Internet website Illogicopedia was targeted by phone hackers from British tabloid News of the World, it has been revealed today. It was previously thought Texan scam artist and all-round buttmunch Roberto had a hand in the Great Illogico Crash of 2009, though recent revelations suggest it was in fact Rupert Murdoch (pictured right with an acquaintance) who personally infiltrated the Illogicopedia servers and inserted malicious code, also known as 'voyruses'.

A quick inspection of the Illogicopedia mainframe confirms this theory, as the following message accompanying a series of gobbledegook lines of code looks to have been added on 6 August 2008:
**This sit bin hacked my Turkish militants** From the desk of Sir Rupert Murdoch Esquire.
This, along with the fact two separate Illogicopedia administrators received a suspicious phone call from a man identifying himself only as 'Rupert' on the same day of the alleged hack is solid proof that the News of the World has been poking around for dirt, possibly on the extracurricular activities of the site's users, whom International News Corp. deems 'feckin' eejits'.

Thankfully, since penguins can't talk (well, the ones in Sheffield anyway) and I never remember to switch my phone on, no information was scraped by NotW. Instead, it seems they planted a nasty virus that would crash Illogicopedia on 11 September 2009, an attack that would shake the servers to the very core.

It took the site one week to recover from Murdoch's attack, though users reported being 'cheesed off' and 'a little bit sweaty' for months after. Granted, this is normal for most Illogicopedia users, but the moment Roberto was mentioned, sales of keyboards to replace the thousands of shattered computer peripherals (and deodorant) skyrocketed. Subsequent repair jobs cost Illogicopedia an estimated 200 hours in editing time, plus I spilled my coffee which takes total expenses incurred to approx. US$1.99.


  1. Brilliant! I saw that bastard Murdoch skulking about my offices last week. He muttered something about lemon curry and skittered off on his little insecty legs. Next time I shoot first.

  2. opkjouh;ujhl;;n!

  3. Well, FI, thanks for leaving a comment. I presume you'll be posting information on how to decipher it in the near future. Or not. :P