Friday, 22 July 2011

Illogiblog bumper summer spam crop

It is my considered opinion that we should henceforth cease editing Illogicopedia and leave generation of content to the Spambots. These days, they're among the most randumb, gibbering and downright silly creatures contributing to the project, a pleasant reminder of the kind of content we were churning out in years past. Makes you wonder if the likes of Quagsire and Zerotrousers have returned to their illogical routes and become spam machine programmers. Don't believe me? Then check these out.
"T was a specimen of what she had to expect.
But miss pecksniff really had fainted away.
Rs todgers! Said charity, jinkins! I am afraid there must be some." -- sligillatiaky
How wonderful, a profound piece of poetic prose if ever I saw one. Apart from the bit about Rs todgers, which kind of spoils things with risqué double-entendre. Hmm, maybe I expect too much from what is essentially a series of 1s and 0s arranged in semi-intelligent fashion.
"Damned cooperative, I determination definately be returning because i set out on my consequent after task." -- wholesale Hawks jerseys
Yeah, those blasted cooperative people! I hate them, with their jovial nature and ability to remain sensible in the most irrational of situations. Nice alliteration there, Hawky, but you need to consult your bot dictionary a few more times. After which time, return for yet more punishment.
"You have made a very nice blog. Your texts is extremely good content. It would be super with a widget like Facebook like bottom." -- Dolasetsgog
High praise indeed from the mighty Dolasetsgog, there, and an opinion on Facebook with which most would agree. Wait, was that last word supposed to read 'button'? Who knows.
"Wow! This site looks exactly like my old one! It’s on a entirely different topic but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Excellent choice of colors!" -- IrrambCoork
If you are accusing me of pinching your old design scheme, you are very much mistaken, sir. I mean, what do robots know about web design? If the internet were built by spambots like you, I daresay we'd all have gone back to teletext by now.
"41. Wonderful work! This is the type of info that should be shared around the web. Shame on Google for not positioning this post higher! Come on over and visit my site. Thanks =)" -- cigarettes buy online
So, trying butter me up, are you? Well, it isn't gonna work, because I'm afraid I don't smoke. Though I agree with you on the Google thing, I feel you just made that up to persuade me to purchase your ill-gotten goods. 4,951.

Quickies
  • "Where exactly is the facebook like link?" -- Edwardo (It's here)
  • "Hi there, I ethically like reading your posts, offer you!" -- buy swarovski (Cheers, it isn't often Illogiblog is described as 'ethical'.)
  • "k4q2cy5mwljb" -- Vernice Goltra (...the piggie is in the pokey. I repeat: the piggie is in the pokey...)
  • "Do you offer new bloggers the chance to write on your blog? I would love to be a contributing author." -- Hinger games trailer (Yes, we do accept new editors, but you simply aren't random enough for the Illogiblog. Please don't ask again.)
I'll close this post with a quite apt comment from How to Unlock IPhones (what kind of a name is that, anyway?).
"Thanks for another excellent post. Keep rocking."

8 comments:

  1. anyone with enough brain cells to rub together can clearly see ?blog is shit.

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  2. Who is Andy Davids on\'s tech blog and why should I be concerned? As always, I agree with Seppy in principle, but push the envelope with Laxxies snoot.

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  3. For the time being, I will cease writing for ?pedia. That's only because it's down again.

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  4. @Silent Penguin: You forget these are robots we're talking about here. They have bits rather than brain cells. By the way, I've written my own Spam program and will be using it to add auto posts the blog as of today. :P

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  5. Yes, robots that look like Jerry Seinfeld. He says he's not a Scientologist, but also says he benefited greatly from Xenu studies of some sort. I don't trust him.

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