Wednesday 27 July 2011

27,000 smackers down the pan. Cheers, Wikipedia

Dear Wikimedia Foundation,

It's all your fault. Why did you have to crash mere hours before my final paper on Advanced Illiteracy? My whole university education is riding on your provision of articles 24/7 for me to copy-paste into this 200-word preparatory dissertation, and you can't even function correctly?

Refer to the below image as incontrovertible proof of your misdeeds.

Because of your incontinence incompetence, I shall most likely fail and resort to utilising Illogicopedia as a source. It will get me a higher grade, but it's hardly worth it when you're reduced to nicking poorly constructed jokes from a bunch of college drop-outs with a grasp of humour that would make even [name removed] wince. And I hate that idiot. Always rambling on about how it's his predecessor's fault and he's the greatest thing since the portable particle accelerator.

As compensation, I suggest you employ me to research and insert 'facts' to prominent articles. I demand five times minimum wage or my head lecturer will hear about it. And you know who that is? Well, neither do I, but he has some pretty high-ranking contacts in the world of server sabotage, or something.

Consider this a threat,

Peter T. Pearson Esq.


  1. I think we all know that for an infinite array of reasons, Wikipedia is evil. That's our jumping off point.

    Obviously you haven't caught up to your american cousins vis a vis education. It's the grade that counts, period.

    Oh, you're a drop out too? No wonder I simultaneously love and loathe you and all you stand for.

  2. I graduated in Intermediate Illogicality, a sub-subject of Advanced Illiteracy, thanks to Illogicopedia.