Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Illogicopedia unveils ''Painful Cuts''

That's right peep holes, the recession affects Illogicopedia too!

Due to a lack of budget, the admins are having to decide what bits of the website will receive the small amount of funding there is (four highlighters and a gummy 18th century two pence piece) and what bits will be left out to die.

The first sector to suffer is most likely to be the userbase, with tentative plans to scale the current community of around 6 down to an much rounder 1, namely a previously unknown user who goes by the name of Adtron. Adtron proposes we replace all page content with several huge pop-ups and a list of keywords people are liekly to search for on google. Or Bing. Wait, not Bing, Bing sucks.

It is likely that this alone won't raise the necessary £3.60 Illogicopedia needs to stay out the red, so other areas such as IllogiNews, IRC and the different language versions are all set to go as well. As many had anticipated, the construction of the Spartan Uber Laser, a £5oo billion project that would see our admins able to decimate an area the size of Belgium, has been ringfenced as a priority spending area. Illogicopedia spokesperson, Killface von Badhouse, had this to say on the matter:

"Well as you can expect, an integral part of a wiki like ours is witholding the ability to blow up Belgium. You just can't respectfully call yourself a nonsense and humour website these days without having 10,000,000 Belgians quiver whenever you push a button."

If you have any concerns the cuts may affect you Illogicopedia has its own dedicate helpline to provide friendly support and guidance. But that's getting cut too.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Shit. I mean shoot.

Crap, that's right. The Uncyclopedians have raided once again. Looks like we're in for a long summer.

I'll admit, I'm slightly to blame. I was spilling out Illogicopedia's deepest darkest secrets to them over Skype. At that time, though, I had no idea Nate (Aka Electrified mocha chinchilla) was such a cocky, big headed chump. And, alas, he headed down to the wiki to become a sysop as he claimed to be "god".

In fact, he even nominated himself for IOTM, something often frowned upon.

Either way, Seppy made quick work of him over Skype, and he hasn't said anything since. Dexter111344, on the other hand, has been blabbing away--but he's been totally cool about it, not raiding the site with pointless flubble edits.
Silent Penguin removed Nate (emc) from this conversation.
So, sorry about that bums, I'll be a bit more astute on the internets next time.

Friday, 28 May 2010

The Cats strike Back!

You may be aware of how my old sig stated I ate cats like ALF. Well, now the cats have ganged up! Look out!

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Illogicopedia article on Wikipedia successfuly restored

Wikipedia have finally reinstated their Illogicopedia article after deleting the article about us last year due to the wiki "Not being notable enough". I have been attempting to persuade numerous sysops on the wiki to reinstate the page for a while - and last week I got lucky. This could be a defining day in Illogian history - or not.

Now we are among the ranks of ED (oh god no), Wookiepedia (meh) and AID's in having our own article. Give you's selves a pat on the back, if that's your sort of thing.

Link is here.

Monday, 24 May 2010

Feedjit: Now ten times more stalkertastic

Hey, guys. Wanna see my confectionery collection? It's tasty and cheap as chips... tastes like 'em too.

Okay, enough with the faux-creepy old man stereotypery, because now you can practice that right here on the Illoigblog thanks to Feedjit's new Stalkertron 3000 thingymujig!

Simply enter your bank account details, sort code, National Insurance number, bus pass ID and anything else you may have of value and, for a small* fee, you get complete** access to a bunch of wonderful free stuff like oxygen and carbon dioxide! And it costs nothing except your life!

Oh wait, I'm gonna have to stop this nonsense now because I have a strange feeling I've carted out this 'quip'*** hundreds of times before on this blog.

In related news, I believe Uncyclopedia is becoming ever-dodgier what with the creeping influence of social networking and MySpace-style megastalker technologies. Not that there's much wrong with that as such, but left in the hands of the wrong people it can be hastily implemented and, well, a bit crap really. I believe there's an implication there that I'll let your own brain fill in because I've done the dodgy bloke on street corner thing to death.

I'm now off to take Adrian Chiles' position on The One Show and take Christine Bleakley out for 'fish and chips'****.

* Read: humongous
** Read: restricted
*** Read: tired old joke that got boring in 4AD
**** Read: dumpster scrapings

Friday, 21 May 2010

Ok, that's it

It's about time ?pedia takes over the world. Somebody needs to hack Google already.

Or if that's too much, at least MSN or Yahoo.

Next, we'll have to use subliminal messaging to turn the internet world into a zombie-like state.

And, step 6, activity rolls in to ?pedia.

Step 8, or something: Profit.

Glad to have a few moments with you all.

Thursday, 20 May 2010

Axe To The Face



They say a picture is worth a thousand words. If that's true then every single one of them are somewhere on my arrest warrant.

...
I was going to do an update about what's happening on the site and whatever, but I thought this would be much more informative.

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Life on the Desert Island Pedia (Exam Time Blues)


What with exams (I presume) sapping all the life out the site, the admins have decided to relocate the servers to a small tropical island in the hope it'll help generate more edits.

The idea behind this is that inevitable shipwrecked castaways will wash up on the island, and with their box of Hungry Hungry Hippos soggy and useless from the crash they'll be forced to use the site as their one distraction from the approaching finality of death. Of course there is every chance they'll burn it down for fire.

..so until they do here's a few mint articles related to exams you can distract yourself with, taken straight from the fridge in the garage:

where better to start than here? An exam that pushes your guesswork to its limit, I literally have no idea what this is about. Suffice to say, you won't pass.

An exam without rules is like a bus without the little gay signs that mean you have to give up your seat for old people - a lot more fun for everyone! Except old people, but they don't really take exams so we'll let this one slide.

The result of bringing your calculator lid into an exam. Also an article dedicated to the formerly available subject of death, including a detailed stab at vaguely explaining how the exam worked.

While not an exam related article, it does highlight the promising alternatives to the academic system.

If you have experienced any problems while reading this blog post consult your physician immediately. Side effects may include dizziness, headaches, itchy feet and delusions of grandeur. Brain medication is available for emergency cases, but only at extortionate prices, and only if your name is Hindleyite.

Monday, 17 May 2010

The almighty TReich

The Illogicopedia bandwagon is still rolling in the continued absence of a particular slacker who's been rather lazy over the past month or so.

Never mind, though, because the testicular Testistocles (pictured right) is keeping the wheels turning on the Illogico machine which, despite the presence of copious amounts of rust that's built up over early May, is still just about functioning. It's alive, I tells ya!

Thankfully, everyone has just about shut up about the political situation that has blighted our lives over the past two weeks, and thank goodness for that. Just remember: in a year's time, everyone will have completely forgotten who Clegg, Cameron and Brown are as the machines will most likely have risen up and asserted their mighty authority by then, a bit like out of Terminator or Futurama except with a much lower level of wit and irony. Roberto will probably have to be conscripted or something.

In other news, the great Uncyclo-cull continues apace, or at least at a steady rate, as more and more Uncle Pete imports are hunted for sport. If you see one, you are free to shoot it with the firearm of your choice - I recommend a BB gun or, if you're a cheapskate, a water pistol. Actually, I reckon the latter would have more comical effects, so you'd better get the Supersoakers out in preparation for the watery cull!

I'm now off to pinch Levi Roots' recipe for Reggae Reggae Sauce and flog it to McDonald's for a billion quid, so until I dispatch of the Jamaican Mafia, sayonara.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

The cake isn't a lie?

Sorry for the irrelevant or only extremely tangentially relevant link, but OMG WUT!?

oh yeah BTW i made http://nerd42.net/

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Illogi Classics - #25, The Unshocking Events of Safety

So how about them articles eh? For the 25th time since its inception, the Illogiblog is proud to present its latest in a quarter century of classic articles. If there was an Illogicopedia Gold channel, this would probably be on it.



A work of awesome by none other than I forgot, this article could well be based on true life events. An anti-story, it regales the events of one fateful Dec. 13 where the protagonist Kim Williams, suffering from a headache, innocently leaves the house to buy medicine. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, nothing apparently. Having made his transaction the man returns to his home and watches some TV. The beauty of the article lies in its ability to turn this mundane activity into a good read, and maybe even something worth featuring. Cleverly written, this is the kind of article only I forgot could write.

I forgot, often unsung himself, has a knack for producing smart quirky articles such as this. His efforts have only achieved 5 features to date, but his many contributions had made the site a much much more readable place, and provided the random page button with loads of mint stuff to fall back on.

Sir, I salute you.

Saturday, 8 May 2010

A Week After the Attack : A Reflection

It's been a couple hours less than a week since the vandal attack last week. It was rough. Rembrandt is a vandal-reverting machine officially. I mean, I can ghost shit and he was a hundred reverts faster than me. I don't know what goes through a vandal's head while he's blanking pages. I mean, I've vandalized Wikipedia numerous times but there's a different feeling when your changing things for the sake of comedy than when you're just deleting others' work.

Do you really have that much spare time to just delete delete delete? I find it sad that people can spend their Saturday night wasting it? I mean, he ruined many games of Modern Warfare 2 for me when I could have been pwnin' some noobs in the face but I had to say to my friends, "Damnit, there's a vandal on Illogicopedia, I'm gonna have to stop playing for a while.

So in short; fuck you, vandal. You have no life.

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Thoughts of the Week, #782 or something

Well, you could say its all quiet on the Western Front for Illogicopedia right now. But I wouldn't seeing as we're not a couple of swaggery blokey cocks discussing their failing sex lives after a Palace game.

It is fair to say however that Illogicopedia, like a stab victim forced to resort to sandpaper for band-aids, definitely IS going through a rough patch.

'Course there has been some activity, usual stuff though. Some articles were created and Hindleyite commented how much like cheese they were, the storm of occasional pink has again infected the recent changes page, and after a long wait we finally had another half-decent vandal. So far so normal. Yawn.

While tentative plans to make Illogicopedia into an invisible global conciousness alive in the hearts of the public do exist, these have been shelved while the admins work on updating their tans in Antarctica, courtesy of Seppy's mum. So for now this blog post, and the Illogiblog's vast fat reserves will have to do. Probably. Stay in school!

Friday, 23 April 2010

Illogicopedia Goes 'Roberto' with Times New Roman











Whoa, now instead of disabling access to the website, Roberto has hacked the whole layout, too! The new release of the long awaited 'Roberto' skin includes:

  • Times New Roman default font
  • Navigation side bar moved inconveniently below all of the content
  • Inability to show thumbs around images
  • Lack of text wrapping around images
  • And much much more!

With this in mind, we should all switch immediately! I mean, the benefits are unlimited!

Well actually, they're not, but we'll just say they are to please the Roberto to prevent any further treachery to the site. Captain RMS McSuper, away!

A post made in part by ******** Me

Easter holidays ruled, what came after drooled. Yes, Illogicopedia is experiencing one of those activity fluctuations, but since it seems to go through them on a regular basis I suppose nobody cares too much. Still, it's nice to see a return to the amicable chatting and gentle, non-controversial article writing we had before Membergate, as nobody likes to call it.

Not that there's anything wrong with controversy, something I like to stoke up every now and then, like just now actually: X Factor sucx hell yah! Controversy would make the world turn round if we didn't have a complex system of gigantic cryptids to do that for us already. (God is actually a giant Bigfoot.)

So anyway, I'd best succumb to peer pressure and talk about the General Election or something. I have included a picture of Gordon Brown in this post.

There, with that out of the way, back to the Illogicality. Anyone been to Uncyclopedia recently? Last I heard it was devouring itself backside first. Blasted vandals, I ought to squirt them with my water pistol ray gun! Wikipedia ain't much different, according to form. Something about dodgy pictures or something. Oh, where have we seen that before? Ah, this is surely the work of Roberto!

Anyhow, must dash. The cryptids draw near, and they appear none too friendly.

Monday, 19 April 2010

HEY WAZZUP!?!

Hi. Its Ragglefraggleking. I'm back. Again. Yes, I know Ive been out for quite some time, but I still care to make a guest appearence here, and there, and everywhere, especially in your hair, but not that kind of hair you sick bear, i need to stop rhyming, its not fair, please shoot me, if you dare. Ok, ok. Teehee. Anywho, Im here to just randomly post. My internet activities the past few months include, Chewbacca Facts, random Google searches, and "other" things, if you catch my drift. ;) Well then, my mother still wont allow me to get XBOX LIVE. Which sucks. Cuz i want it. SO BADLY! haha, good times. Woooohhhoooo! Yes, i am in fact, drunk. I have urgent matters to tend to, so take care all ma' homies! (yes that was an insult to all you gays, just kidding) Word to ya mothers-RFK

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

The end of an era

Oh dear. We hath gone bust.

On ThotMarket, the marketplace of Ideas, Illogicopedia (trading under the name ILLOGIA) has been de-listed, meaning we no longer exist as a 'thot' on the site. Due to lack of investment, despite my various pimping on both the blog and the actual site. It seems that we screwed up. This is a sad day for Illogia - the bank once freely flowing has now dried up in a instant. At our best we had 9 shareholders and a financial status which outshone ED (also De-listed).

I will be in the process of making a new Thot for our site, but it will need support from you guys (which means make a frckin' account) and a Roman Abramovich of teh virtual world to latch on.

By the way the sidebar on the right there displays the final status before the collapse of the thot. Awwww bless.

ThotMarket is a website which simulates the global stock market, using websites instead of listed companies. You do not need to know anything much about business and whatnot in real life, just basically know what money is. The site DOES NOT use real money, instead you gain virtual credits from investing wisely and eventually with a bit of luck end up on the fabled 'Thot 30'. The site does not cost you a penny.

Monday, 5 April 2010

Losing the Battle of the Bog

Ah, come on you lot, grow up. Surely you can do better than poorly MSPainted images of male genitalia. What are you, ten years old? Now, female bits might be a different matter...

Actually, no! I know the human wang is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated on a regular basis and all, but surely this sort of puerile nonsense belongs in the schoolyard and not the internet? There is no artistic merit that would elevate us slightly above the level of Uncyclopedia and (gasp!) Dramatica to be seen, so there is no point.

You know who you are. Further violation of the commandments shall result in punishment worse than death... a five minute ban plus an hour in an empty room with MrMetalFlower (sorry MMF, nothing personal).

Now stop it before I come round and beat you round the Dick King-Smith with long, hard, rusty baseball bat.

-- Message from your local friendly adminator (Arnold, brother of Roberto)

Friday, 2 April 2010

An apology

Illogiblog would like to formally apologise for yesterday's poor quality April Fools' stunt. I very much doubt if anyone at all was fooled, not least because the Illogicopedia main page fake error message wasn't too convincing. Well, it could have been, but a certain person couldn't be bothered hacking into the ?pedia mainframe ('twas behind seven proxies) to make the 'Illogicopedia scheduled maintenance' message appear without all the sidebar links 'n' stuff.

Nevertheless, at least it was better than nothing which, incidentally, is what Uncyclopedia did. That's right, they didn't bother to have an April Fools' front page prank this year! As usual, I blame the recession. No, wait...

If anyone was fooled by our little Roberto Roll, then congratulations, you've won absolutely nothing! Meanwhile, the real Roberto (heheh) continues to wreak havoc upon the Illogicopedia servers. As for his motives, who the heck knows? Whether he's just a washed out old homeless guy using the ?pedia server as shelter, we can only speculate.

Oh, and as an extra treat, we've included a 'TEXTp' version of the Roberto Roll in the head of this post, courtesy of YouTube and their top quality 1st April jape.

Writing a blog post, for the sake of writing a blog post

Because write. That's why.

I do hope everyone's broken springs aren't causing too many mechanical problems. I did break springs in a Very Important Clock and it did stop ticking. Oh yes it most certainly did!

Our servers are SRSLY skewered. Like, OKOK, hwere is my theory of who Roberto is. I think he is a Zombie Clown. By which I mean, a clown. With the white face paint and obligatory red rubber honky nose. But turned into zombie ala George Romero. (with maybe some John Romero in there as well) Yes.

With that said, I believe we did winned the April Wiseman's Competition Of The Vaugely Funny Related Wikis this year.

Now as to the addressing of my own reportedly unstable mental condition: HONK HONK HONK I AM A CAR GET OUT OF THE WAY I AM A CAR I NEED ROAD GET OUT OF THE ROAD CHILDRENS I AM A CAR I NEED DRIVE

and NOW I HAS A BLOG TOO ok enough shameless plug.

Thursday, 1 April 2010

Beating the Wikipedes at their own game

Good morning everyone. I trust you are all enjoying your Spring Break/Easter hols so far -- that's if you aren't at work or something. If so, the festivities (?) will probably begin for you tomorrow with the traditional drunken Good Friday Blowout, which Illogicopedia will be taking part in! Kind of. Actually, not at all.

Anyhow, on Monday I mentioned Wikipedia will be introducing their new Vector skin later this week. Well, since that time, Carlb -- that's our friendly server owner (nothing to do with Roberto, you understand) -- has contacted me with some news that might be of interest to readers/editors of Illogicopedia. That's you, incidentally.

Carl has very kindly taken the time to install a special plugin on the Vector software that, well, is just plain awesome. So awesome, in fact, we'll be rolling it out before you can say 'bumper spaghetti harvest'. YAH! We're gonna beat the Wikipedes at their own game for a change, and how! Features included in the new Vector 2.0 skin:
  • Userpage Popup Facebook-style status boxes updated in real time
  • 'Who's Online' facility for Recent Changes stalkers
  • Twitter compatibility so all your tweets appear on Recent Changes should you wish them to (although I dunno why you wouldn't...)
  • Skype extensions so you can not only type stuff on peoples' userpages, but actually engage in verbal conversation as well
  • User blogs (beta) closely tied in with the forum to provide an all-round better collaborative feel to the wiki
... Plus a whole load more! Full details are outlined in this special video blog starring an old friend who's rapidly becoming something of a celebrity on Illogicopedia. Be sure to watch all the way to the end so you know what's going on before the new skin comes into effect.

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Thinks of the Week

Yessiree, it's time for me (RMS) to give this ol' "Thoughts o' the Week" thing a shot (cover your eyes).
  • IOTM is awfully chunky this month. We've got a nom that's been crossed out, a certain user nominated for the elleventy squillionth time, and a rouge Eggs Benedict Blade. 
  • This Roberto chap is giving me the shivers. It took me some fifty attempts to just save a page at one point. By that time, though, I had already been distracted by a conveniently placed pinned butterfly collection. When I noticed the page had actually been saved, it was already deleted by an admin. *Sigh*
  • Linux is pretty cool.  If you don't use it or have never tried, I recommend that you do. It's clean, simple, and you can download Ubunutu from Wubi.com. 
  • Spring Break isn't so springy. In fact, it's much the opposite. Instead of springing around, everything is sort of just sinking into the couch. Or at least I am. Anyway, the only things I've done that's required moving is going to get a bag of chips out of the pantry. Hell, I haven't even needed to move to take a dump!  

So, in a swift move, I'll soon be out of this blogging world, since my thoughts are nearly wrapped up. I'd stay longer, but I have a baseball game to be going to, so RMS... AWAY! /puts on cape and attempts to fly by jumping off cliff

Random Things I felt my fellow ?pedians should be able to read

Whaddup my fellow Illogicopedians. This post has not really anything to do with Illogico but I felt like telling someone. I'm currently listening to a playlist with like 10 Muse songs on it OVER and OVER and OVER and it never gets old. It consists of "The Groove", "Hysteria", "Stockholm Syndrome", "Time is Running Out", "Knights of Cydonia", "Plug in Baby", "Undisclosed Desires", "United States of Eurasia", "Muscle Museum", and "Showbiz". All great songs. Nevermind that.

I'm on Spring Break 'rye nizzle (right now). I've been playing MASSIVE amounts of Call of Duty with Ginonater and other friends. Over this break I've went to bed at about 3:00 every night. I woke up at noon today. Shiite. I'm reminded of "I Love College" by I wish I was black Roth. "Pass out at three, wake up at ten, go out to eat, then do it again." Yep. I also realized IRC is awfully boring [you inactive pieces of shit].

I've been putting off learning an instrument (either guitar or bass, probably bass) so yeah... Ginonater and I have already recorded two comedy songs but I don't think he wants either of them to be on the Internet since he doesn't like how bad he sings [and you won't either. He sounds like a dying cow.] I can't sing either but I can write lyrics like a pro. I wrote two songs last night. They're pretty good. One's a bit weird and mildly disturbing (notice I've been listening to Muse a lot. That would explain the weirdness.) and the other I'm willing to share with the communitah if you ask (which I wish you would because I do want to share it with the communitah.)

I thought of a great provocative quote a couple days ago which I posted on Skype: "A fear of death is not so much being afraid of the end but rather a doubt of a promised beginning." If you're retarded, it's saying that when you're afraid to die, you're not really afraid of dying itself per say, but rather you have a doubt that Heaven (in this case the "promised beginning") exists. I liked it and thought I should read it.

I also felt like letting you know that I'm making plans for taking classes in high school designed for setting me up for making a comedy-type show. If I ever do make it and I'm still on ?pedia/it still exists, I'll probably ask some of you to be co-writers (as if it weren't obvious, RMS is my first choice. We tight.) I'll probably mention you in my Emmy acceptance speech as if you deserve it.

Yep.

If you're still reading, thanks and what up?

--T3

Monday, 29 March 2010

A post that has nothing to do with Roberto

Since Illogicopedia is down for the moment (nothing to do with the aforementioned server usurper, I swear), Illogiblog has decided it's time for a good old fashioned hoedown!

Not really, I have a sore leg. Don't believe me? I have this handwritten excuse note complete with a terrible forgery of my mother's signature to prove it.

So anyway, continuing the theme of not mentioning Roberto (dang, this is harder than I expected), those anti-humorists at Wikipedia are rolling out their Vector skin, also known as Wikipedia Beta, next week. If you can remember back to October of last year (I know I can't), you may recall this very same blogger praising the move. In fact, I've had it set as my Wikipedia default ever since it's been an option.

Illogicopedians can emulate the Wikipedia Experience (not quite as good as the Jimi Hendrix experience, but hey) right here at Illogico by selecting the 'Vector' skin under user preferences. Personally I still use Monaco because at the present time it's better for page management, but you're free to meddle with your own settings as you wish.

Or not. It's entirely up to you. I am not the master of your destiny. Choose your own path in life. For Great Justice.

You might also note in that post that I took a cheap (and some might say uncalled for) shot at Wikia, which you'll probably have noticed is one of my favourite pastimes alongside pinching fluorescent traffic cones and rolling down hills in a barrel. For good measure, here's another slant at our commercial cousins: 66% percent of the world's population agree Wikia sucks. If it's on the Internet, it must be true.

Saturday, 27 March 2010

Roberto: A Mystery


His name is Roberto and he has come for our servers. Many questions have arisen about this strange entity, including "Why is he coming after us?" and "What did we do to deserve this?" But, in reality, none of those are important.

The more important question we are facing is not related as to why Roberto has infected us, but as to who he actually is. The most important question: Who is this Roberto?

There have been several theories. An alien. A hacker. A rogue wikia worker with a mindset of conquering all wikis. It could be any of these. Hell, it could even be Nerd42, whom most of us believe has slipped well into the boundaries of insanity.

So let's look at the evidence. Roberto first struck on Illogicopedia. This would lead us to believe that it's a possible enemy of our precious wiki. First guess? Uncyclopedia. But we soon realized that the best chance they had at infiltrating our wiki may have been through Sannse, but we she do such a thing? She works with wikia, and we're long gone from their evil, conspiring grasp. This could lead us to believe that it may have been the biggest, baddest of them all: Wikipedia. They may have hit us because they know we are their biggest threat.

However, a similar problem hit Wikipedia itself, ruling them out of the equation. Or does it? This might just be a cover up to make it not look like they did it. There is no conclusive evidence to say that they didn't start this whole commotion, anyway.

And lastly, we have Nerd. As recent posts and edits show, his mind clearly isn't working correctly. He probably found Carlb and took over his job just to screw over his own wiki.

So, who is Roberto? As Tootsie Pops would tell us, we may never know.

That ol' week in March

Yes, it's that time of year again. No, not "Obscure Movie Week", it's spring break!

That's right, it's time to crack out the ol' banana peels and inner tubes, cause it's the one homework-free week of the year! Well, er, if you completely disregard the months of summer vacation and winter break, that is.

Either way, most people who are in school take advantage of this week to sit on their arses and do absolutely nothing, with me included. Luckily, the vast world of the internets has a whole bunch of hooey to keep me awake for more than six hours.

However, this may be the year where I might actually accomplish something during a one-week period of nothingness. List of possible accomplishments:
  1. Walking. This week generally involves eating, sleeping, rolling over in bed, and reaching for the laptop. Walking is a feat that hasn't been accomplished in the infamous spring break since years ago.
  2. Surpassing the record for most bananas eaten in one bed during a one day period. I've already set the previous records of thirty eight, let's try to go for more.
  3. Accomplishing something useful. I've never come close.

With that list of New Week's Resolutions, I have to finish it off, my alarm is going off which means it's time to eat another banana. And after, it's sleeping four fifteen hours.

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Wikipedia downed as Roberto strikes again

Oh dear, it seems Illogic's recent server problems have rubbed off on its big brother. That's Wikipedia, incidentally, or 'Windpipe' if you're my spellchecker.

The Free Encyclopedia has been down worldwide for a while now, apparently causing much error-message related mirth. At least, it isn't working for me at this particular moment in time (that's now, for the sake of posterity), but what do I care? I'm just pleased my own Internet connection is actually functioning again following a 24-hour period of crashination. Raw corn!

According to a quick search of Google News, this particular server crash is simply down to 'a coding error', but we know different. Roberto, the alien hunting non-existent entity everyone loves to hate (or not, if you don't believe in ghosts), is of course the real cause. Don't tell anyone, however, or Jimmy Wales and his vandalous crones will close down ?pedia quicker than you can say pseudoantidisestablishmentarianism.

Actually, they may have already done so, seeing as I can't get Illogico to load right now. Gulp! Effective immediately, I declare server rat hunting season open! Feel free to open fire at blokes with baseball caps and large guns as well - the likelihood is they were gonna shoot you anyway.

In the absence of a suitable alternative, please do not hesitate to utilise Illogicopedia as a substitute for Wikipedia until further notice. At least when it comes back online, anyway.

Saturday, 20 March 2010

Monday, 15 March 2010

Illogi Classics - #24, Head hitting Illogicopedia

Crimeny, that time of the month again? By this, I mean to express my astonishment that the moment for another Illogicopedian Classic is upon us. Behold, the latest in a series celebrating classic Illogicopedia articles, and boy do we have a proper oldie for you today.



The early days of Illogicopedia were characterised by really bad one-liners, little experiments in pseudo-vandalism and jokes you wouldn't dare put in a Christmas cracker. Head Hitting Illogicopedia fits into all three of these categories rather nicely, and served as an early parody for the 'Editing Illogicopedia' page. Editing > head hitting, geddit? I'll bet you wish you didn't.

Note the article's placement within the Locigal category (highlighted in the above image), which was massively popular in the very early stages of the adult Illogicopedia. In case you didn't know, that's when it grew spots, armpit hair and a liking for toilet humour - around February 2007 for the completists. Incidentally, that's round about the time it flunked its driving test and smoked its first cigarette (an exploding one given to it by Bcbkye).

Though relatively weak, the pun was warmly received by a grand total of four users; its creator, Fluffalizer and three vandals. This was reflected in a tribute, Hitting Illogicopedia's Head, which extended the joke just that little bit further and squeezed out what remaining life it ever contained.

Have you got the idea yet? Early Illogicopedia articles sucked were rather short and one-trick ponyish. Yes, I did just use the word 'ponyish' in a (semi-) serious context. Live with it.

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Bring on (two thirds of) March, baby!

February sucked harder than the combined force of ten vacuum cleaners and Portsmouth FC, with pretty much half the month wiped out thanks to those blasted moles.

Barring a repeat performance, March is building up to be more promising. Not only is the world set to end subject to terms and conditions, always read label, but people are actually bothering to edit Illogicopedia again. Huzzah!

What's more, yesterday we welcomed a whole clutch of new users from who knows where, the biggest batch of newcomers since 1872 when Illogicopedia was paper-based and circulated amongst mental asylum patients (print run: 14). Say hello to them at playtime, because right now we're going to have a mental arithmetic test. Not really, I know you'd just cheat and use your computer's calculator accessory anyway, because I can read your mind like an open book. Or at least I would do if I could actually read.

Some of you may be interested to know we ended the long-running YouTube Comments saga this afternoon as the blasted thing was finally featured with a world record score of +11 (or was is +13?). For a limited time only, the article will be appearing on the Illogicopedia front page to sign autographs and various fleshy bits you wouldn't want your mother to see, so, erm, load up Illogico to see that if you haven't already.

Special:Randumb Page of the Week: Candle stub
Retro Page of the Week: The Editthis Hermit
Dead Person of the Week: Michael Jackson

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Articles of 2009

Yes, I am well aware we're now into March and 2009 is but a distant memory, but remember: a whole two weeks of Illogical time were lost to the server outage at the beginning of last month. That's a whole fourteen days of black holeyness, hence stuff not happening!

In case you forgot (or just chose to ignore), we would like to inform you that voting on the Articles of 2009 is well underway. Users are free to vote for up to ten of last year's featured articles, and the ones with the most votes will win a completely meaningless, yet heart-warmingly satisfactory accolade: The Articles Which Illogicopedians Think Are the Best From the Year of 2009 (gasp).

Who will emerge victorious? Does anyone care? Tune in soon to find out. After all, it'll be fun! Maybe. But what can be better than sampling the best Illogicopedia has to offer, apart from maybe dipping your hand in warm treacle, or scratching that itch on the back part of your shin?

Vote now for cake!

Thursday, 25 February 2010

Illogicopedia in the Internet Blogosphere

I have to admit, I expected Illogicopedia to have fulfilled its plans for World Domination at this point. After more than three years on the road, only a brief mention in a mainstream newspaper blog column and an insignificant post at starkedsf.com have come close to even recognising Illogicopedia as slightly notable [citation needed].

Still, the site is at the very least causing some rumbles in the underground niche market with its general nonsensity (is that even a word? It is now) and silliness. Reactions, both positive and negative, are recorded in the vast expanse known as the Internet Blogosphere (pictured right), i.e. the place where anyone can poke holes in the notability of the Illogicopedia to their heart's content.

Now, I have no idea if any of these guys have an account at Illogico, but at least they've visited and perhaps raised a slight smirk at some of the better articles on the wiki. Maybe.

Most recently, a blogger known only as Captain Cook has found Illogicopedia suitably stupid to include links to it in various posts on his blog, The Sturgeon Awards.

Apparently, Illogico is slightly better than some bloke called Fred, but marginally worse than KidConfidence, a video game review site for parents (a cracking idea if ever I heard one - certainly worth checking out if only for its comedy value). Cookie, cheers for acknowledging our sorry asses. We are eternally grapeful.

In October of last year, Nutwood Junction included Illogicopedia in a superb list of parody websites and wikis.

Obviously the writers have seen Illogiblog's own wiki revue (and perhaps even this general interest article written over a year ago) and developed it into their own piece on humour wikis. The article quotes 'Slightly Depressed Rainbows', one of the older (and actually not that bad) pages on Illogico, which was apparently found via Special:Random. There's even a mention for Wickerpedia, which is always worth a visit for a quick laugh.

Elsewhere...

I can't quite figure out what the point of this list is, but I don't think it's worth spending too much brain power on. Carissa Glarner of the Art Institute Int. for Advertising finds Illogicopedia 'simply entertaining'. I dunno if this is meant as positive or negative, but it's a mention nonetheless.

And, um, that's all I can find right now, so I expect there aren't many more mentions than these. If there are, they would be accessible via Google Search or something. Which they aren't.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Server Escapes Unscathed, But For How Long?

We're back baby, after that vicious bout of panama disease steam-rolled its way through the wiki plantation. The Banana Scientist himself has managed to alleviate the dishevelled server that now graces the table. A hand to our hosts, Lord Van Crinkle-bottom and Sir Reggie Wincest.

I've run out of joke related steam now, so, as the light waltz of the evenings embers fade away, go away.

Illogicopedia announces triumphant return to comedy

Apparently, Illogicopedia is back online. Also apparently, it was never offline. Confused? Well, this is the first I've heard of it as well.

The problem of 'Roberto' -- namely the front page error message -- was solved when either CartoonistHenning or Carl discovered Illogicopedia was in fact accessible, just not via the front page. Yeah, seems none of us ever thought to try the recent changes page...

Evidence for the fact Illogicopedia has been right under our noses all along can be found in the fact spammers somehow managed to flood the wiki with messages more pointless than my Swiss Army knife during the supposed 'downtime'.

Anyhow, the good news is that, for the time being, Illogicopedia is back on the road! Please resume normal (or as normal as can be expected at Illogicopedia) service and make the most of it before the giant hamsters return to invade Illogico's Canadian server farms.

In other news, activity is beginning to trickle back into ?pedia after a two week period of... well, you know what. In time, we expect these people to fade away and leave Illogico devoid of activity over the summer. But what do we know? We're just humble psychics.

Illogiblog classic post from February 2008: Illogicopedia Classifieds
Random Page of the Day (via Special:Random): Ultra Japan
Dead Forum Topic of the Week: Riddle me ree

Monday, 15 February 2010

SysopDog is not amused

In a previous post/comment, Nerd talked about having withdrawal symptoms from Illogicopedia. Well, it hasn't been that bad here at Hindleyak Towers - so far I have only lost three toes and a finger whilst playing around with a hacksaw. If only Illogicopedia was up, then I could spend my time more effectively...

The continued server outage -- yep, I checked this morning and Roberto is still sat there with his air rifle -- means that for the moment we have to put up with things like YouTube and (gasp) Uncyclopedia instead, which, as you can imagine, isn't really that good for the soul. Not that Illogicopedia is, but at least it doesn't waste your brain cells in the same way as some video of a cat speaking (please don't watch it).

Sorry for this inconvenience, but please bear with us while we try to find the problem and extinguish whatever is ravaging the servers. My money is on a large rat infestation, or perhaps a Wikia sabotage attempt. The fiends! I shall dispatch of them with my trusty Swiss Army knife, blunted by repeated usage on brick walls (damn hallucinations).

Thank goodness for off-site blogs in times like these! Otherwise you may have thought Illogicopedia had died, never to return... a world in which we do not want to live, I'm sure you'll agree.

Pointless word of the week: Aggrandisement
Sandwich filling of the week: Potato waffles
Website of the week: Newsarse

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Tee-Hee! Its my 2 year anniversary!!!

lolz. thanks you guys for a wonderful 2 years and god bless ?pedia!



the servers are down(suckage!)





yays! --RFK

Thursday, 11 February 2010

Stuff to do whilst waiting for the servers to recover

[Obligatory LOLcat included]

Well, um, I would have used this opportunity to talk about how Illogicopedia is going from strength to strength and experiencing a particularly good period of activity, but server problems have put paid to all that.

Yes, the moles pressing the buttons have gone on holiday to Barbados or something, and we're left with Roberto and his error screens for the time being.

As a result, nothing much is going on in the world of Illogico, hence the lack of proper updates to this blog in recent times, and the absence of any real content in this post. However, do not fret, for there are plenty of things you can be doing whilst waiting for the servers to recover, namely...
  • Doing homework and/or coursework LEFT HANDED and telling the teacher you suffer from alien hand syndrome
  • Carving banana shapes out of potatoes, eating them and claiming they're one of your five a day
  • Leaving inane and childish comments on YouTube, making a video off the back of the subsequent fame and make millions from the Partner program
  • Seeing how quick you can make your character die in Spiderman for the Atari (do it before the music ends for extra points)
  • Go through your entire VHS collection and note down every occasion the word 'existentialism' appears
That lot should waste a good ten minutes, which covers the time you'd normally spend on Illogico flaming newbies. I may be back with more stuff to tide you over until Illogico reboots, but until then, enjoy this video, which goes a long way to explaining why Britain is in such bad economic shape.


Yeah, I know. It's one of my pants YouTube mashups from ages ago. Forgive the suckage.

Friday, 5 February 2010

Server Problems Update


Date: Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:19:25 -0500
Subject: Re: missing user

> Hello Carl,
>
> two days ago the Oncyclopedia was down and now we're finding out, that
> there are articles missing, and a user: [[Gebruiker:Options]] doesn't
> exist anymore, along with all of his edits.
> Do you know what could have happened?
>
> greetings,
>
> D. G. Neree

There were hardware problems on Sunday the 24th; a disc drive was
replaced in one of the servers. All database info was recovered because
every edit is mirrored to a second server using database replication.
Many images uploaded between Jan 19-24 are known to be missing, but I
have no idea why an article, edit or user would be missing.

I've checked backups of the site from both Jan 2010 and Dec 2009 and
find no record of a [[gebruiker:option]] or options on Oncyclopedia.
This is strange?

Carl

The long and short of it is, hardware problems, the current MySQL problems may be related to this, it may not be. What I can safely tell you is that Oncyclopedia is also serving the same error message in lingo I don't speak.

All we can be sure of is carl probably has a lot on his plate. :P

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

This wiki has a problem

OMG OMG OMG

I was about to login to write up The Illogicopedian Zombie Plan only to find out IT'S TOO LATE!

They've already invaded Canada!!

"This wiki has a problem"


I'll say!

"Sorry! This site is experiencing technical difficulties."


PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN

"Try waiting a few minutes and reloading."


The zombies will be here by then!!

"(Cannot contact the database server: Unknown database 'uncyc_commons' (roberto))"


domo arigato mr. roberto

"You can try searching via Google in the meantime."


An excellent idea!

"Note that their indexes of our content may be out of date."


Because we all know how important it is to keep up to date on the very latest nonsense!

Outdated nonsense is such a problem that it requires just such a warning, oh yes!

We should replace our site's main page with this permanently.

Or maybe just print "This wiki has a problem" in similarly large print on our main page

cause we sure do!! :)
um um umumum um what happen? someone set up us the bomb?

Saturday, 30 January 2010

The OMG Scary Alien... Holy shit, what was I thinking?

It's been roughly a year and a half since.... you know. It. The OMG Scary Alien. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? IT SUCKS!!!! How can an article SO BAD have such an impact on the site. Not as a whole but c'mon, users who never voted on anything voted against it.

How for the longest time my sig consisted of two pictures of the guy. There's the Flub Nugget vs. The OMG Scary Alien and WHY? You know why? Because I only really read it like twice in the days after I wrote it. It really makes me realize how much I've matured in the last year and a half. I mean.... Really. I apologize for the article. I'm happy he dies at the end of the Flub Nugget vs. article.

--T4Cano'crap

The winter cleanout

We couldn't be bothered waiting months for spring to arrive so have decided upon launching an impromptu, long overdue cleanout of unneeded suckage.

You may have already noticed the article count dropping dramatically in the last couple of weeks, and that's because admins have not only been takin' out the trash as per usual, but devouring some Uncyclo-cruft as well.

Don't worry, we haven't gone all Uncyclopedia on yo' asses, it's just the lack of activity in the last few months has led to a whole load of leftover half-baked articles going all mouldy. For the sake of our sanity, these must be exterminated, lest we be overrun by rats or mutant turtles from the deepest, dankest sewers.

Anyways, along with all that crusty stuff some of the older, cackier articles may also bite the dust and all. I believe the Unicycles call it Forest Fire Week, we prefer to call it breakfast.

Continue the good work, y'all, and keep churnin' out those VFF-worthy articles.

-- Your friendly adminators

Saturday, 23 January 2010

Life on the empty Illogic MoneyReel

Well, having just wasted all of my ThotMarket money on buying 2200 shares, I thought it'd be a good time to advertise the financial side of the wiki.

For the past 6 months, apart from a certain shareholder called 'BenBlade' buying into ILLOGIA too much every now and again, and a unknown new shareholder, nothing has happened. Even looking at the graphs on the page shows you that people have forgotten the real meaning of life - money (apparently).

So I'm urging you, If you haven't already to make an account there and restore the wiki to perfect financial health and put us on the ThotMarket "Gainers" list for eternity!

ThotMarket is a website which simulates the global stock market, using websites instead of companies. You do not need to know everything about business in real life, just know what money is. The site DOES NOT use real money, instead you gain credits from investing wisely, so you can invest even wiselier (if that's a word.) The site does not cost you a thing, so stop holding on to your wallet foo'.

Friday, 22 January 2010

The Actual Stats

In Hindleyite's recent T.O.T.W. post, he mentioned something about percents of vandals and blah blah blah. I actually went page by page combing through and got the actual statistic of what percent of users actually contributed something memorable to Illogicopedia. So without further ado, 80% of Illogicopedia's users have been vandals, advertisements or one-edit wonders.

You're welcome.


--T3

Thursday, 21 January 2010

To those we have lost - Ze Adminators

Upon reading a certain section of the Illogicopedia Awards of the Decade thread over at the forum, Illogiblog got to thinking just what happened to some of Illogic's early prominent editors. As the years passed, these guys were just forgotten to the litter-filled boating pond of time... until now.

Asema

He isn't completely gone, but Asema's most prolific editing days are most probably passed. An instrumental part of Illogicopedia's very early days, he provided input for the prototype front page as well as scribbling out a bunch of articles to get the site off the ground in its first few months.

As one of the first administrators, Asema also played a big part in the fabled Proboards forum (believe me, it's never as good as you remember) at a time when it was widespread consensus that Illogicopedia would take over the world. Fast forward to 2010, and we can safely say that's definitely happened... well, almost.

And we have Asema, in part, to thank for it.

(The Divine) Fluffalizer

An Uncyclopedian 'convert', Fluffalizer hopped on over to the new Illogicopedia project and never really left. In fact, he can still be found stalking recent changes every now and then, surveying he colossus he helped create. That's Illogicopedia.

Course, in those days, he was known as 'The Divine Fluffalizer'. And let's face it: he more than deserves that title, which he presumably dropped out of fears he would seem egotistical. Remember the 'advanced' front page with awesome coding and that? Well, Fluffalizer tweaked that. The VFF engine? He implemented that, though it was originally from Uncyclopedia and proposed by Seppmeister.

It's not just for his technical prowess he is missed. His library (and yes, it literally is a library) of articles covers a variety of topics including Fish Grate Ung, carrots, chairs, mooses and vegetables.

Sadly Fluffy has other things to do these days. He's probably the only administrator with a shred of sanity for ditching this madhouse long ago... though, as I said, he can still be seen every now and then mucking about with the odd minor edit.

~ ~ ~ ~

Don't rule out a big, Elvis-style comeback from either of these individuals. If that happens, we'll be right there to report on it with typical sensationalism.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Illogicopedian Obsessions of the Decade

  1. Cheese
  2. Checking Recent Changes every thirty seconds
  3. Epics. Overrated term of the decade?
  4. Getting everyone on IRC at the same time
  5. Gold stars (less so in the last couple of years)
  6. Listing every single article you've ever created
  7. The Duck Clan
  8. Aping/copying/obsessing over Uncyclopedia/Encyclopedia Dramatica
  9. Goats
  10. Waiting for admins to judge Illogic Pickles
  11. Fixing votes at VFF
  12. New Monaco
  13. Refreshing the old Proboards forum whilst waiting for Editthis Illogic to load
  14. Taking the pee out of Wikia
  15. Achieving admin status (status, what status?)
  16. Bcbkye
  17. Super Japan vs. Subbuteo
  18. Hitler/Nazis (of course)
  19. Getting as many features as possible
  20. Illogicopedia:About

Monday, 18 January 2010

Thoughts of the Week (18th Jan 2010)

This picture has no relevance except that I like it.
  • (Independent) Illogicopedia has reached one million views according to this page. Maybe we should do some sort of comedy Jimbo-mocking banner to celebrate - keep your eyes (and bananas) peeled.
  • It's nice to see some activity coming back to Illogicopedia. It seems the collective Illogicopedian communitah was too busy eating turkey and drinking eggnog over the Christmas period, but like a nagging hangover, you know it'll be coming back very soon.
  • I have to thank everyone for keeping the Illogiblog ticking over in my mysterious absence (to be explained away by a tedious extended jobsearch), else it may have keeled over and died. As it is, the blog enters its fourth year still going strong, and it's all thanks to you lot. Yes, even you, Avril Troll.
  • Forget about GoCompare (hate that blasted advert), you can thank your stars that Carlb is such a generous man. I'm gonna personally pick the bloke who's very kindly continuing to donate server space to the Illogicopedia as The Man of 2009, and if anybody disagrees they can mosey on back to Cackypedia. All's I can say is, Waddaguy!
  • Now for a shoutout. Flyingidiot is an absolute legend and deserves a medal or something for his fervent interest in all things Illogicopedian since he first joined. A long and successful career at the wiki lies in wait should he continue in this vein...
  • A random thought... what happened to MathPoet? Has anyone seen the guy recently? I know he was working on his own Paradoxical wiki for a brief period but he's disappeared since. We gots to track him down!
Did You Know... that of Illogicopedia's 375 registered users, exactly 72.4% are vandals, trolls and users that edited once and were never seen again?
I actually just made that up, so don't take it too seriously. However, the number of registered users part is true at the very least.

Finally, I would like to draw your attention to this page. Use it for great justice. Seriously though, post your own stuff and it could get VFF nommed by I or whoever just so happens to be passing by. Just do it, it only takes a few seconds of your time, and could get you a feature!

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Illogi Classics - #23, Ominous crotch stain (Oh no!)

Dipping once again into the reeking chamber pot that is the Illogicopedia archive, we bring you yet another entry in this criminally neglected Illogiblog series. Yup, it's the first Illogi Classic of 2010!

Ominous crotch stain (oh no!)

An early gem from the halcyon days of Illogico, Ominous crotch stain first found prominence on the Wikia version of the site, a time when optimism was high and there was a general feeling that Illogicopedia was going places. Whilst it wouldn't exactly go on to conquer the world (not yet, anyway), it at the very least put a smile on peoples' faces.

Or, in this case, a slight grimace at the thought of the incontinence that shall blight us all at one stage or another. Still, better to get busy moving your mouth muscles than get busy dying, I suppose.

The article's style is typical of vandal-turned-good Testostereich, who's since become probably the site's most active contributor. Where'd we be without him, eh? Well, probably a lot more highbrow, but we shall not dwell on what could have been, for his chuckleworthy creation has been worthy random page fodder for two-and-a-half years of Illogicopedia.

Oh yeah, don't you just love toilet humour?

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Illogiblog design 'n' shizz

Yeah, I just nuked the blog surf widget on the left cos it's no longer bringing in any traffic, which kind of defeats the purpose of the whole thing, really. Also, Silent Penguin was getting well pissed off with it. ;) Still, I like to think it got us one or two new users, though there isn't really any way of telling for sure...

I feel I must apologise for never being here but, in all seriousness, I simply don't have access to a computer as often as I used to. Yup, looking for jobs in local toilets -- solely for the cash and nothing else, you understand (*cough*) -- sucks butt. Still, I'm able to communicate with you telepathically right now via a Windows operating system - none o' that fancy iPhone stuff for me.

Any of you lot fancy a new design for the Illogiblog? I might have a look around and perhaps test a few things out if I get the chance, but it's been a couple of years (?) since the last redesign and maybe a fresh outlook would be nice. Don't hold your breath, like.

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Illogicopedia is a Sinking Ship (MAJOR PROFANE RANT READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)

Illogicopedia is most definitely sinking. VFF is slow as hell. It's been like five years since an IOTM actually had an outcome. The feature changes every decade and my question is, "Why?" It's because we've lost the community/ah.

There are no new users coming in, old ones come on once a month and the few users who go on daily are stuck to do nothing but go on Recent Changes and press refresh like morons. I truly do love Illogicopedia but now I feel that me contributing is a lost cause and it's all gonna end soon anyway because of inactivity. I know everyone says that this time of year is inactive and blah blah blah but this is way out of proportion.

Everyone who has wasted nights and days on this wiki get repaid like shit. We're a bunch of users who do nothing for the wiki except for how every month they make an article. Unless you're gonna actually be a part of the community, vote for things, write on forums or even do ANYTHING for the site then just fucking quit because you're useless anyway. The downfall to every democracy in world has been people not giving a rats ass about the voting or the outcome of the country or in this case the wiki.

So do the wiki a favor and just forget about it. Because you're useless anyway. You say, "Oh voting's not my style" or some bullshit excuse like that well I hope going and fucking yourself is your style because that's what you should do. And if Illogicopedia eventually does sink, I'll make sure you guys get the blame. And for everyone that actually cares and contributes; thanks. So let's get our fucking act together or Illogicopedia will just be a waste of server space for Carlb.

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

A new decade

Welcome, Illogicopedians! It seems you have all survived to see the tenties, so well done on staying alive through brain-frying mobile phones, the rise of the Internet, the X Factor, Simon Cowell, hoodies, XBOXes and a bunch of other variously disgusting and delightful things.

Unfortunately, the 2010s are set to be even worse, with sanctimonious television personalities and overpaid sportspeople set to have their stint in the limelight in the carousel known as fame.

Illogicopedia is now entering its fourth year in existence (has it really been that long?) and is still going strong with the same core userbase it had in early 2009, plus a few valiant and dependable hangers-on.

We really ought to start up a recruitment drive to push Illogicopedia through this new and exciting age, but no doubt we won't be too bothered and continue along much the same path as we are travelling. And guess what? Nobody will care. That's what I love about Illogicopedia: the overriding apathy of the place.

Today's irrelevant image is of the moment when Jeremy Clarkson realised he'd forgotten to log out of the office computer.